I sat down and said, “Mind if I keep you company. Taking a break from writing.”

She said, “Sure, have a seat,” jubilantly. Her eyes glittered like diamonds. She looked around, nodded at a few older women and they cracked a wide smile.

Except for the fourth friend she nodded at. He was an older gay man, around fifty-nine, sixty years old, fruitier than any 70s and 80s Prince album cover and had a Michael Jackson BAD screensaver.

So I knew the play. She was trying to hook me up with diarrhea diaper over there. The thought made me stand up and say, “On second thought eye gotta get going. I gotta write, so I’m grabbing my frappuchino, and I’m sure you need to read that there obituary. Your husband die?” I asked and her face was a twisted mask of anger.

“What did you say?” she whispered harshly. You know little old white ill-intentioned women— they gotta snap at you, pat the wig and try not to make a bitter scene, especially when they think you were a broke nigger with no job and nothing going for yourself.

"I said sorry about your husband.”

“He wasn’t just my husband! He was a seasoned Vet. Fought in Vietnam. Did three tours of duty. Germany. Japan. And Germany again. Where he died. He wasn’t just a husband, thug boy.

"He was a man of class, decency and respect!" she continued. "Unlike you and your filthy types. Look at your jeans. Pressed? Look at your skull cap and its not even cold out. Your T-shirt and your red bracelet on your right hand and those god awful Harley Davidson boots. A man of
your caliber never ask me any questions about my deceased husband.”

But I looked like The Rock Dwayne Laurence Fishburne Mike Lawryyyy Will Smith Jr. though...

I walked up to Diarrhea draws, smiling that killer smile. He melted, like oh my God this sexy fine ass black niggah about to make me his bitch.

“May I borrow your computer?” I asked, laying an open palm on his shoulders letting him know I understand what he was because that’s not what I was.

He liked them young and black and I loved God more than anything in this world so we were on two different wave lengths.

“Sure. You can.”

“I’m just taking it over to the little ole prude in that late golden girl wig.

“No problem.”

I leaned on my left hand, typing with the right, ass out, legs together, looking sexy as hell pulling up www.BN.com.

When the Barnes and Noble welcome screen came up via Barnes and Noble WiFi, I typed my author name “DAPHAROAH69” into the Search box.

Clicked ENTER and all seven of my books came up.

I picked up the computer and started to walk to the lady and Gay Boy started to touch my ass and I walked off.

I said, “Don’t get your old ass whipped in a
Starbucks, bitch,” and set his laptop down in front of the old fart with a bang.

People looked up. I’m from GOULDS, bitch. Eye make a scene if I wanna make an example out of a bitch.

"I'm Bestselling author Dapharoah69. I have seven books published with The King of Erotica 6 BATTLE PLANS coming out in two weeks, dean bat.”

I looked up with a smile. “How ya’ll do. Look 'em up on www.BN.com to find out what I’m talking ‘bout.”

Quite a few people actually started looking me up.

“D-A..."

“You ain’t write these books,” said the bitter old fart and I bumped my ass on her chair “Oh, dear!” nearly giving her whiplash.

I replied, “You spell my author name
D-A-P-H-A-R-O-A-H-6-9.”

I looked at her. Clicked on my third book cover, you know the one I’m in my tight little draws and shit with matching dragons on my shirt glaring at each other, and the picture enlarged and she looked at it with wide eyes and another lady said, “Dapharoah69, I don’t know you but I’m proud of you.”

It was a tall white country lady, dressed nice and had on nice make up.

“Thanks.”

“I listened to this old lady tear you down about her seasoned veteran husband and you outshined him. I read you have 300 + (5) star reviews on your the King of
Erotica series?”

“And counting,” I added to the appraisal because I earned it.

“Are they here in the store?”

“No, but they will still order them for you.”

"I'm going to buy all seven. I’ll just order them online. I bookmarked the page. Soon as eye get home I'm ordering all five.”

Seven, not five...

“Its not your everyday kinda literature and its not what you think it is.”

“I know. You said you stimulate then educate.”

I smiled. “Right.” I pointed at her.

“You’re good!”

“Hey, now! I read Zane novels so I’m not quite there with Danielle Steele as of yet.”

“Danielle’s good. I loved her Ranch book.”

“Would you recommend that as a good read?”

“Is it, yes! I read it in one night. Couldn’t put it down.”

“You’re so humble. You are a big author yet you are so cool and down to earth. You promote another author over yourself. I would say you’re a selfless man.”

I smiled...