Chapter Three

Music to My Ears

Tsukuda Kiyomi’s Point of View

            I leaned against the railing that stood before the window. It was currently pouring outside as the atmosphere in the school compound was damp as the myriad of students began rushing in the entrances from all the various corners of the school.

            “Tsk,” I grunted before I heard some stranger behind me say something I completely forgot.

            “Oh, my gosh! Today’s the day of the pep rally! The Samezuka boys will be coming!” she squealed with delight.

            I deadpanned for me personally, not in a direct reaction to the stranger student. I stood up from the railing, free from its ‘chain,’ before I walked back to class, my backpack hanging loosely against my shoulders. The pack was light, as it was the first week of a new quarter of the school year.

            I slid the sliding door of my classroom before dropping my bag to lean against the inner side of the metal leg of the desk. I slumped in my desk, an arm clutching under my chest, while the other was massaging my temple.

            Ding. Ding.

            The bell rung, signaling the half-day of classes and the other half of festivity and pep rallies to increase whatever little ‘spirit’ remained within me.

Matsuoka Rin’s Point of View

            My hands were in the pockets of my black sport slacks, striped with three bands of white. I wore the white tee underneath my Samezuka swim team sports jacket. I stared out the window of one of the twenty buses that held the Samezuka students who all were to attend the Takahashi pep rally and festival. It was one of the few events in which the two sister schools collaborated together to create such an event. Of course, it made sense. These two schools were large compared to other private schools in Japan.

            The ear-buds that stretched from my mp3 player were glued to both my ears as I listened to the somber music that always made me think so deeply about life . . . Its origins . . . and life in general. Would I ever get over the loss of my closest friend? Would I . . . ever find love?

Little do you know

How I’m breaking while you fall asleep

Little do you know

I’m still haunted by the memories

Little do you know

I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece

            Katsuo . . . Why does the memories of you still haunt me? Why can’t I find the missing puzzle piece to complete myself after that tragic loss?

Little do you know

I need a little more time

            I just needed a little more time with you, man. You were my idol. You were my brother. You were my closest friend. I could console you with anything. Anything . . .

Underneath it all, I’m held captive by the hole inside

I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind

I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight

            To forget you, Katsuo, my man . . . is impossible. It’s just the loss of one friend . . . why does it impact me so much? Why did you leave this earth? This world? This universe? This dimension? Why? Why? Why? I can’t get myself to forgive you for leaving. How can I forget all we’ve been through?

Little do you know

I need a little more time

            I needed a little more time with you, Katsuo. I needed that shoulder to lean on. Where else could I find that in any other person?

I'll wait, I'll wait

I love you like you've never felt the pain,

I'll wait

I promise you don't have to be afraid,

I'll wait

The love is here and here to stay

So lay your head on me

            Will I ever find love? You always taught me little tricks and knick-knacks to get girls to like me. I forgot almost half of them. Who else can I consult about my ice-cold love life? I want to love a girl who understands the pain I feel. I want a girl who I can lean on when I am feeling weak. I want a girl who will love me for all of eternity. I want a girl who can lean against me when she is down or downcast. Where are you when I need you the most?

Little do you know

I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep

Little do you know

All my mistakes are slowly drowning me

Little do you know

I'm trying to make it better piece by piece

            I want a girl who feels a connection . . . a link . . . between the two of us. We can feel the happiness, pain, sorrow, or even guilt of the other significant . . . I watched you die, Katsuo. I watched you go through heartbreak and tragedy with other girls. The one time I need someone to lean on with my personal problems . . . Where is the girl I am searching for?

Little do you know

I love you 'til the sun dies

            Where is the girl I am searching for . . . until the sun dies?

Oh wait, just wait

I love you like I've never felt the pain,

Just wait

I love you like I've never been afraid,

Just wait

Our love is here and here to stay

So lay your head on me

            I want the pain and sorrow to be gone. I want a girl to love and feel that love more than the pain and aches I feel inside. I want to love her more than whatever I’ve been afraid of. I want that love to be here and stay here. I want to lean on her as she will to me. I want to know her suffering, her pain, her happiness, her life . . . All about her . . . All of her . . .

I'll wait, I'll wait

I love you like you've never felt the pain,

I'll wait

I promise you don't have to be afraid,

I'll wait

The love is here and here to stay

So lay your head on me

Lay your head on me

So lay your head on me

            Where are you? I want to lean on you like you can with me. A love that will stay with us forever—an eternity—a lifetime, and over so.

'Cause little do you know

I love you 'til the sun dies . . .

            Wherever you are . . . I will love you . . . until the sun dies . . .

Tsukuda Kiyomi’s Point of View

            I tucked the portable earphones into the slots of my two ears, and let the music take over me as the teacher droned on his lecture about the mathematical reviews I didn’t need any more review of.

I’ll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense

That you’ll lose your mind

            Someone to lean on . . . To get things straight . . . To make things . . . right.

I’ll use you as a focal point

So I don’t lose sight of what I want

            To be the swimmer my brother dreamt to be . . . I need someone to understand that my dream is to continue my brother’s legacy. I need to find a direct path to the victory my brother dreamt of.

I’ve moved farther than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would

            I got over Katsuo’s death, but I still miss him. I shouldn’t. I should move on . . . But how?

I’ll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense

That you’ll lose your mind

            I need a warning sign. I need someone to talk some sense into before I lose my mind.

I’ve found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me

            Will I ever find love? Someone I can lean on and pour all my worries and troubles to? Will I always be alone?

I’ve found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me

            Love . . . Where can I find such thing? Is it even real? Is it just a fake reality people have made to become more confident? Confidence . . . Do I even have such attribute anymore?

I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge

Of how much to give and how much to take

            I need to measure the emotions flowing within me. I feel like a tsunami tormenting the lands within its vicinity. Will I ever become the soft, gentle waves that tenderly recede from the pure, beige sands of the beaches?

I’ll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense

That you’ll lose your mind

            I need a warning sign. I need that someone. Will I ever meet him? I need to know. Will I ever meet him? Please, universe, say something.

I’ve found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me

            Is it right in front of me? That so-called love? Am I alone in this world? Will anyone ever love the likes of me? Gloomy, somber . . . hurt.

I’ve found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me

            Where is love? Right in front of me? I don’t see it. Talk some sense to me . . .

I’ve found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me

            When . . . Where . . . How . . .

            A single tear slid down my cheek as I turned off my iPod and returned my attention to the teacher lecturing. I wiped the tear off my face and sat up straighter.

Matsuoka Rin’s Point of View

            I felt someone nudge me, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

            “Rin, we’re almost there,” one of my classmates sitting next to me informed me.

            “Oh, thanks, man,” I replied as smoothly as possible. I was a senior this year. I had to a prominent leader . . . and a prominent captain for my swim team.

            “You okay?” my classmate raised an eyebrow. “You seem out of it today.”

            I covered my actual reasons by saying, “Just tired.”

            As I said so, I rubbed an eye to indicate that I was ‘tired.’

            “Well, you better be awake later because we’re going to see the Takahashi girls,” he armed me playfully.

            I sighed quietly, not loud enough for him to hear, “Yeah.”

Tsukuda Kiyomi’s Point of View

            I wrote down the answer on the chalkboard to the math problem. Simple. Easy. Math in general was easy. You had the basic equation or the direct formula, and all you had to do was pluck the numbers in and solve. Life, however, was another subject. You could insert numbers anywhere, but it wouldn’t solve your problems, or, at least, anywhere near it.

            I exhaled quietly as I trudged back to my seat. Rain was still pouring as loudly as ever as I finally reached my seat and sat down gracefully and silently. It apparently wasn’t ladylike to sit down with a sound—any type of sound, the swish of the uniform skirt, or anything.

            “Pardon for the interruption. Would Tsukuda Kiyomi please come up to the front office?” the announcer spoke through the microphone. The message reached throughout the entire school. “Please drop your school items by your locker before heading to the office. Thank you.”

            I looked at the teacher, and he gave me a curt nod, signaling that I could leave the classroom. After the signal was given, I stood up from my desk, packed the pencil case and notebook that lay on my desk for the class before exiting the door of the room.

            I passed by classes quietly, going unnoticed, as I finally reached the locker rooms. I unlocked the lock and hung my backpack onto one of the hooks before slamming my locker door as quietly as possible.

I then passed by the bathroom, entered, and looked myself in the mirror. Whatever the office wanted me to do had to either be I did something wrong or something proper had to be in place . . . What not.

            I straightened my skirt and blouse, untangled the few knots at the tips of my hair, and then finally took the chapstick from my skirt pocket and applied it on my lips before finally exiting the room.

            I then walked over to the front office where, in the lobby, were a large mass of boys.

            “Probably the Samezuka boys,” I sighed mentally before opening the office door where I was met by the clerk.

            “Hello, Tsukuda,” she smiled at me lightly. “I was told that you were somewhat affiliated with Samezuka Academy family-wise or some sort, so I would like you to give them a tour of the school. The last stop should be the cafeteria. The auxiliary dorms should be given to them as they will be staying here for a week. As you know, this event is our fundraiser for the school’s festivals, dances, and other galas. Do you mind? If you do, I can always find another person.”

            I drew in a sharp breath. It was true that I was somewhat affiliated with Samezuka Academy through my deceased brother. I couldn’t turn down, though. That would be embarrassing. She acted kindly, and if I just turned her down like that . . . that wouldn’t look good for my quiet and obedient reputation.

            “I’ll do it,” I replied with a small, warm smile . . . just for the sake of kindness. “I don’t think it’s that much a hassle anyways.”

            She clasped her hands in glee, “Oh, Kami. Thank you so much! I’ll leave it to you then. For the rest of the half-day of classes, you will be excused. Thank you very much. I know I can trust you with representing our school this year. Again, thank you so very much.”

            “No problem,” I grimaced, though it was barely noticeable.

            I then exited the front office after we both said good-bye to one another.

            I looked at the mass of males in the front lobby. Boy, was this going to a hassle.

            At an appropriate volume of loudness, I shouted over the myriad of voices that were all chattering, “Hello, my name is Tsukuda Kiyomi, but you can just call me Kiyomi. I will be your guide today for the tour around the school.”

Matsuoka Rin’s Point of View

            Because I was thanking the bus driver, I entered the Takahashi building after everyone else. I was on the last bus to enter Takahashi territory, so I knew I was going to miss out on some of the girl chatter, but it didn’t matter that much to me.

            As I entered the front lobby, I heard the beautiful voice of a girl.

            “ . . . but you can just call me Kiyomi. I will be your guide today for the tour around the school,” she said.

            I knew I missed the first part of her speech, but that wasn’t the matter, aside from the fact I didn’t know her family name. Kiyomi . . . such a beautiful name for a melodious-voiced girl. I tiptoed over the many heads before to catch a glimpse of her face.

            Before long, I spotted her at the head of the crowd. She was beautiful. Flawless. Perfect. From her voice alone, I could catch several hints of pain and beauty. That voice . . . so familiar . . . yet so far away. So near . . . Yet so far . . .

            It was music to my ears.

~*~*~*~

Author's Note:

Just a small hint. This book is intended to provoke emotions that are initially negative and later on positive.

Oftentimes, I feel, not depressed, but rather somber, as if I am wondering the start of the universe or . . . like how I'm alive. In Rin's case, however, it's about how his best friend died, and he wants to find a girl to lean on.

With Kiyomi, she just got over her brother's death, but she sometimes misses him deeply and wants someone to lean on as well. She wants to complete the dream that her brother could never finish.

That's the summary, pretty much. :)

Yours truly,

~FujiwaraYuko~