21- With You

Marissa's POV  

        I stormed out of the hospital and immediately looked for Nick's car. How care he leave her alone like that? I'm going to fucking kill him. Not seeing his jeep on the lot, I dialed his number. Instantly, I heard a ringing close by and found Nick at the source of it, sitting against the side of the building hysterically crying. 

"Nick!" I shouted, marching over to him. "What the hell are you doing?!" 

He looked up, his face streaming with tears as his whole body shook. 

"D-Dead... B-baby." 

Grabbing his arm, I hauled him to his feet. 

"You need to get your shit together like right now. Demi is in there and she fucking needs you okay?" I wiped his face using his sleeve and led him into the hospital. Nick stumbled behind me and leaned against the wall as we got to Demi's room. 

"Guys? Can you come out here? Dianna bring Mac." 

~*Demi's POV*~ 

        Marissa called my mom and Mac out of the room and I could feel my body tense up as Nick walked in. It was obvious he'd been crying as he stood in the other corner of the room and sniffled. 

"Nick?" My voice cracked as I finally broke. He was across the room in a second, pulling me tight against his chest. 

"I'm s-so sorry." I blubbered, clutching him like a lifeline. 

"Calm down Demi, I'm the one who's sorry." 

I pulled back and looked at him, "But I killed our baby." 

He shook his head, "No you didn't Dems, things like this happen everyday. It just happened to be us this time." I just buried my face into his chest and let out all fo the tears i'd been holding in. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nick asked, and I sighed, knowing this was coming. 

"I was going to tonight when we got home. You kept saying how annoyed you were with the producers kids and you were gone so much that.... that I dind't want the bbay to be the only reason you stayed with me." 

Again, I found myself in Nick's arms, him kissing my forehead. 

"Demi no, it's nothing like that. I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. I'm gonna tell them I need a few weeks of for this. We're gonna get through this together." 

I forced a smile, knowing I'd never really get over it. 

        We'd been laying on the hospital bed for a while now, me randomly bursting into tears a sanother image of Nick with our baby was ripped from my mind and Nick would pull me against his chest, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear to calm me down. Finally, the door opened and Mac toddled in. Nick lifted her onto the bed and settled her between our bodies. 

"Why are you crying again momma?" She murmuring, touching my wet cheeks before looking up at Nick with accusing eyes, "What did you do?" 

I shook my head and took her face in my hands, "He didn't do anything babygirl. I just have alot of hurt in me right now." 

She nodded understandingly, "Okay." 

I smiled at her simplicity before pulling her against my chest, "I love you so much Mackenzie." 

She hugged me back tightly, "I love you too momma." 

"Always." 

~*~

        I woke up feeling empty. I was alone in a dark hospital room, the anaesthetic was wearing off and all I could do was sit there and think. I could never hold her for the first time (in my head the baby had always been a girl), I'd never watch her sleep in my arms or record her first steps or first laugh and smile. I'd never hear her first word or see Nick laugh with her. I couldn't even feel her inside of me anymore. I felt hollow, and numb. 

The door cracked open and Mac peaked in, "Are you awake yet?" 

I sat up a bit, "I'm here baby." 

She snuggled and got on the bed, crawling over to me and sitting on my lap.

"Do you still have hurts?" 

I smiled sadly and rubbed her back, "I'm gonna be fine, but what's wrong?" 

She looked down, "You said it was just a dream." 

My brow furrowed, "What? What do you mean baby?" 

She wiped her face as more tears fell, "Y-You told me you'd always be there and that it wasn't real, the dream. Dada was crying and you weren't waking up so we left." 

I shook my head and kissed her temple as I tried to calm her, "Babygirl I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere I promise." 

She nodded, but I could still see the doubt in her eyes. 

"Mackenzie Lovato. I'm not leaving you. Ever. I'll always be with you." I touched her heart, "In here and as long as you keep me close," I pointed to the locket she never took off holding our picture, "You never have to be afraid of anything okay?" 

Mac nodded and cuddled into my neck as I hugged her. 

"I love you so much babygirl, always." 

~*~

                "Home sweet home." Nick murmured as we walked into the house. Mac ran off to play, but I stayed at the door.

Nick took my hand, "Why don't we order in, then we'll just watch a movie. Okay?" I nodded and he kissed my forehead, "Every things gonna be okay baby, I promise." 

My eyes were hollow as I looked up at him, "Don't make promises you can't keep." 

Nick swallowed hard and went to hug me but I quickly pulled away, walking over to where the phone was and handing it to him. 

"Pizza or Chinese is fine, Mac is probably starving." 

He sighed but nodded and I walked into the bedroom where I sat on the bed and stared at the pregnancy test i'd taken a few weeks ago in the bathroom. I could feel the holes in my chest like someone had shoved knives into my heart and twisted them. I'd never known so much pain. Before I knew it I was sobbing silently, desperately trying to take shuddering breaths. 

"NICK!" I yelled, as black spotted across my vision from the lack of oxygen. I heard his running footsteps and all of a sudden I felt him pull me into his arms. I probably looked like a scene from a movie, me sobbing and pounding on Nick's chest while he desperately tried to get me to breathe. 

"Demi shh, calm down baby you're gonna pass out. Breathe baby, please breathe." 

Slowly, I was able to calm down as I fell limp in Nick's arms, going numb. 

"We were gonna be the best parents ever." I croaked, and he rubbed my shoulder. 

"Demi, we are the best parents ever." 

I looked up and froze as I saw Mac's face flash at the slightly ajar door. 

"Shit." I hissed, jumping up and running to Mac's room, hitting the door just in time for her to shut and lock it. 

"Mac baby please let me in." I pleaded, jiggling the door handle, "I just want tot talk to you. Please open the door." 

A few seconds later, just as I was about to speak again the door opened and Mac looked up at me with reproachful eyes. 

"Baby." I breathed, and walk in, picking her up and sitting on the bed. 

"What happened?" She demanded, "What happened to you? Why did you say that you're not parents anymore?" 

I closed my eyes and rubbed my face, exhaling slowly. 

"Baby i'm going to explain ssomething to you, and I need to try and understand okay?" She nodded solemnly. "Mac I was pregnant. that means a baby was growing in my stomach... And sometimes, things go wrong and the baby inside of you goes back to heaven." 

She nodded, "It dies." 

A lump in my throat formed at her blunt statement, "Exactly, and that makes me really sad because I loved that baby like I love you." 

She looked down, "I don't like it when you're sad." 

I pulled her into my chest and we laid down on the bed. 

"I don't like when you see me sad. I'm sorry for not telling you." 

She laid her head down on my chest and sighed, "That's okay. I love you." 

I kissed her forehead, "I love you too babygirl." 

~*~

        I stood nervously by the bed as Nick got changed. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting on the mattress. 

"Y-Yeah?"

Nick sighed, "Is this going to become a reoccurring thing every time you get home from the hospital?" 

My lower lip quivered and his expression softened, pulling me onto my lap. 

"Hey i'm sorry, I was just kidding." 

I nodded, "I'm sorry I fucked everything up." 

Nick shook his head, "Demi you didn't mess anything up i promise you. I'm sorry you felt like you had to hide it from me." 

Shifting so I was straddling his lap, I looked him in the eyes, "Promise me that we won't keep anything from each other every again. Ever." 

Nick nodded and leaned forward as if asking for permission to kiss me. Without hesitation, I closed the gap between us, sighing in relief at the feeling of being close to him again. 

"I love you so much." The words tumbled from my mouth without thought and I felt him smile against my skin. 

"I love you too."

My hands wound in his hair as I kissed him passionately. I wasn't interested in sex, and probably wouldn't be for a while, but I'd missed this feeling. Having his arms around me and pulling me close, my skin touching his, it made me never want to let go. Suddenly Nick did pull away, shutting his eyes tightly. 

"Demi, Olivia kissed me." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

:) 

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-Rachel