CHAPTER 25- It Hurts

Demi's POV 

        Nick was silent on the ride home, his arms crossed over his chest so I couldn't even hold his hand. 

"Mac's at my mom's house and is sleeping there tonight. We can have some alone time." 

My hand rubbed his arm and Nick shifted away, "I don't want to talk." 

I sighed, "Yeah? Well you not talking landed you in the hospital. So, now we're doing it my way." Nick just rolled his eyes and stared out of the window the entire way home. 

        When we walked into the house I pulled him into the kitchen, "What do you want to eat?" He shrugged and I rolled me eyes, "Sandwiches?" He nodded slightly and I made one for both of us before setting a plate in front of him. "Eat." Nick sighed and picked it up, inhaling it in four bites. "Pig." I teased, swatting the back of his head lightly. Nick was not amused. 

He rolled his eyes, "You told me to eat, I ate." 

I nodded, "Now check your sugar." Nick pricked his finger then turned the device to show me his levels were good. I smiled and grabbed his hands, "Now come with me." I led him into our bedroom and sat down on the mattress. When I patted the spot next to me, he sighed. 

"Demi I'm not having sex with you." 

I smiled weakly, "I don't want you to have sex with me. I want you to lay down, so I can hold you, and we can talk."

Nick shook his head, "I don't want to talk." 

I sighed, "Than can I just hold you?" Nick deliberated for a second, then laid down next to me, completely still with his hands behind his head. I looked over at him and smiled quickly when he met my gaze. Nick forced his eyes back to the ceiling and I groaned, moving my leg over his waist so I was straddling him. 

"Demi I told you-" 

"Shhh." I interrupted, and leaned down so our faces here inches apart, "I love you." My lips pressed against his unresponsive ones, "So much." Another kiss, "Just let  me." I whispered, and finally pulled back to see tears in his eyes. 

"I can't believe he's gone." 

I pulled his body up into a sitting position so I was between his legs and hugged him tightly, "Nick he knows you loved him, he knows you had huge admiration for him. He knew all of that baby and he knows how you're feeling right now." 

Nick's body shook with sobs, "It hurts so much." 

I nodded and kissed his hair, "I know it does baby, I know. But it's gonna get easier, you just can't keep it bottled up like this. You can't shut me out." 

He sighed and grabbed my hands, looking into my eyes, "I know, I'm sorry I just didn't know how to deal with anything." He blinked a couple times and slowly inhaled, "Demi I'm not sure if..." 

I lifted his chin so he was looking at me, "Go on." 

He sighed, "I'm not sure if me not checking my sugars and not eating was intentional or not." I inhaled sharply, but let him continue. "I wasn't thinking straight, and I didn't want to die. I don't want to die. I just... I didn't want to live." 

I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly, "It's okay, I understand, believe me out of everyone else in your life that is the one thing I understand better than anyone. It's okay to feel that way and you can talk to me about that stuff." 

He nodded, his hot breath raising goosebumps on my spine. I closed my eyes tightly, now is not the time to be horny. Suddenly, Nick's hands on my waist felt as though they were burning through my skin, sending pulses to my now throbbing center. My teeth sunk into my lip as I realized how close our centers were. Through his shorts, I could practically feel him on my thigh. Nick's lips pressed against my cheek as he pulled away, 

"Thank you for not letting go of me."

I smiled and kissed his nose, "Always." 

Nick's brow furrowed as he took in my expression, then a smirk spread over his lips, "You okay?" I nodded and he leaned in, intentionally grazing his teeth over my earlobe causing me to shiver. "You look a little flustered babe."

I tilted my head back as he began to kiss my neck lightly, "I'm fine." As I opened my mouth a moan escaped into the suddenly sweltering air. 

"Does that feel good?" Nick's voice was low and husky, making my insides quiver. His sex voice. My hands wrapped in his hair, tugging toughly as I ground onto him. He lifted my shirt over my head and his hands found my breasts, mauling them as I pulled his hoodie off and scraped my nails down his hardened abdomen. 

"Fuck." I breathed, as I felt him growing under me. Nick flipped us over and covered my body, kissing me passionately as I fumbled to get our clothes off. Soon we were underneath the sheets, he moved against me as my nails dug into his back, screaming and moaning out each other's name. We climaxed together and I could feel my eyes practically roll back into my head as a series of orgasms shattered my body and a guttural moan escaped my throat. Nick's body collapsed on top on mine, his chest moving as he breathed heavily. He slipped out of me and rolled over, pulling my with him so I was resting on his chest. I happily snuggled into his warmth, using my fingertips to draw patterns on his chest. 

"I love you." I murmured, and Nick softly kissed my forehead.

"I love you too Demi." 

~*~

        The next day my mom brought Mac over and the second she saw Nick she launched herself into his arms, refusing to let go until he promise to take her to McDonald's this week. We spent most of the day just lounging around, since Nick had to take it easy. Mac was dozing on my stomach while Nick rubbed my feet soothingly. I gently played with the end of Mac's waves. 

"I love you." I cooed, smiling at him from the other end of the couch. 

"I love you too Demi." He chuckled, then nodded to Mac, "Have you made your decision about your tour?" 

I sighed, "Not yet." 

Nick raised an eyebrow, "Demi you leave in what, three weeks? What are you waiting for? Just to leave in the night without telling her?" 

"No." I snapped, glaring at him. "I just haven't decided Nick. I'm gonna be gone for about a month so it's not the end of the world with the time thing, I just don't want to leave her even if it's for a few days. MY mind just keeps going through all of the scenarios that could go wrong." 

Nick nodded, "I understand that Demi. But-" 

"No you don't understand NIck. You don't and you never will." 

He shook his head, "I love her like-" 

"Like she's your daughter, I know. But she's not. As much as you want her to be she's not. I'm her mother." 

Nick wasn't phased by my harsh tone, "I know that, but one day she will be my daughter. I'm so sure of it that I'd like to start protecting her now." 

I settled back into the couch, not wanting to fight with him, and just watched Mac sleep. 

"Look Demi, at the end of the day it is your decision, but I need you to see it from my point of view. I can protect her here, I can't do that when I'm hundreds of miles away in South America. I can't go with you either because I do have work to do here. Your mom is here, and my mom, and your sisters and they all adore Mac. You can skype with her every single night. Just.... Just think about it." 

I sighed and nodded, "I'll think about it." 

He got up and kissed my cheek, "Okay I'm gonna go get dinner, I love you." 

I smiled, "I love you too." 

Once he left I looked back down at Mac only to see her eyes open and full of betrayed tears. 

"You're leaving?" 

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OKAY SO YESTERDAY WAS THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF SILENCE AND I JUST WANNA THANK YOU GUYS FOR EVERY READ COMMENT AND VOTE BECAUSE IT HONESTLY MEANS THE FREAKING WORLD TO ME THAT YOU GUYS WOULD WANT TO READ ANYTHING THAT I WRITE. I LOVE YOU GUYS. 

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Next Update: Tuesday!

-Rachel