CHAPTER 87

Demi's POV 

              I woke up wrapped around Nick with Mac on my other side. Nick shifted beside me and I felt lips pressed to my cheek, "Happy Thanksgiving Demi." I froze. Thanksgiving. That meant food, and a lot of it. Someone who's recovering with an eating disorder's worst nightmare. I gulped, and shut my eyes and memories of past Thanksgivings filled my head. Binging, then purging, then cutting. A vicious cycle that I couldn't escape. While everyone else was stuffing their face and laughing I was counting the calories in every speck of food I put in my mouth. 

              My reaction must have been clear to Nick because he pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tightly. "Hey, It's gonna be okay. I'll be right by your side. Okay?" I nodded, then a thought occurred to me, "Nick?" I asked, my voice tentative and almost scared, "Mmhm?" He murmured, as he laid kissed on my jawline and collarbones. "Do you want to confirm 'us'?" He stopped kissing me and smiled, "Demi, I'll support your decision no matter what you want to do. Just because we're labeled or unlabeled doesn't mean anything to me. But.. I does allow us to stop sneaking around and running from any flash we see." I smiled, "Let's do it." Nick raised his eyebrows, surprised. "N-Now? But how?" I smiled, "Like this." I pulled my phone out and leaned my forehead against his, snapping the picture then opening twitter, 

@ddlovato; Mine <3 
www.pic.twitter.com/kbQaTpffko

 I turned the phone screen back to Nick and he smiled, then kissed my forehead, "Perfect." I took a deep breath, then slowly pressed send. 

We broke Twitter. 

           Six of the usual ten trending topics were about 'Nemi.' My fans are going crazy, literally I think twitter has suspended over a hundred accounts because of this. Twitter had glitched after the picture posted and was now stuck on the picture when you clicked it. When Nick retweeted it, it got even more hits, and we reached 2.5 Million retweets. I scrolled through the Nemi hashtag, and giggled at some of the tweets. I favorited some, DM'd fans for being supportive, and rolled my eyes at haters saying Nick was 'their's.' 

              We'd been laying in bed for a while now, both of us glued to our phones, which were blowing up with texts from friends we'd forgotten to tell... oops. Then, my phone beeped again, it was my manager Phil. 

From; Phillie!
Does this mean he's in the documentary? 

I paused, and peeked up at Nick. My decision came instantly, 

To; Phillie!
Definitely. 

 ~*~

              We all piled into an SUV with a camera man for the drive to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I sighed, and my leg began to bounce up and down, faster and faster until I felt a large hand on my upper thigh. Nick. He put his arm around me and I curled into his chest. The high I got from just touching him was so much better than any drug i'd ever done in my entire life. I don't know what I'd do if he ever left me. I sighed, it's inevitable, they always leave me. 

               We pulled up to the house and got out. Again, as I looked at the house more memories swirled through my mind and I gripped Nick's hand tighter. He kissed the side of my forehead and walked us forward with my family. My mom insisted on holding Mac so my anxiety was higher than usual. As Eddie pulled the door open my heart rate increased and I started to breath heavier. The room was spinning, loud yells filled the air as I was passed form person to person, getting hugged and kissed, faces blurred and I stumbled into a hallway. Suddenly, a door opened and I was pulled into a room, the door shutting once again. I fell to the ground, hugging my knees, crying. My breathing quickened and I felt the walls closing in. Panic. 

               Strong arms encircled me and pulled me into their lap. "Shhh Demi, It's okay." Nick whispered into my ear. I tried to control my breathing but I just started shaking. "Demi. Breath, match my breathing. In and out. C'mon baby." I focused on Nick's voice and his heartbeat, slowly calming myself. After about ten minutes, I stopped shaking and looked at Nick, he was visibly worried. I sighed, and wiped my eyes, "Sorry you had to see that." Nick's face twisted and he shook his head. "Stop that, I love you and I'm not gonna run to the hills because of something that you can't control. Sorry babe, you're stuck with me." I smiled, and hiccupped. Nick pulled me into another hug, and I buried my face in his chest, inhaling the smell of his cologne. He stroked my hair while I tried to even my breathing more so I could leave the bathroom. There was a knock on the door, "Mommy?" Came a small voice. I wiped my face and opened the door, settling back between Nick's legs on the floor. Mac slipped in and shut the door behind her. "Hey baby." I smiled. She frowned when she saw me, "What's wrong mama?" I stood up and picked her up, then set her on the counter. "Nothing Mac, mommy  just got really scared for a second, but I'm okay now." Mac touched my face, "But you're the bravest person I know." She mumbled, I kissed her forehead, "Thanks babygirl."

.~*~

          I gulped as I looked down at my plate of food. Nick's arm snaked around my waist and he kissed my temple, "It's okay. You can do this Demi." I nodded, and cut a piece of turkey, slowly chewing it to a pulp then swallowing. I felt it settle in my stomach, then was suddenly overcome with a surge of empowerment, I can do this. I continued to eat, bite after bite until my plate was empty. I felt like a normal person, eating with the people they love, not worrying about calories. Nick smiled at me proudly, and went back to shoveling his mountain of food into his mouth. I rolled my eyes, such a guy.

          Dessert came, and I ate a slice of pie, trying not to push my luck. everyone had gathered around and to watch football but to be honest, I wanted to go home. My 'empowerment' had drained away and I felt disgusting. I wanted to crawl out of my skin as the voices started again, getting louder and louder. I turned to Nick next to me, "I'm like, uncomfortably full." I muttered. He looked at me, concern alight in his eyes, "Do you want to go home?" I tried to stop the tears from forming and nodded, not trusting my voice. His eyebrows pulled together, then he whispered something to my mom. She looked at me, searching my face and took up. "Alright, we better head out, Demi's got a big day tomorrow." We said our goodbyes, and left the house. Nick held Mac, who was sleeping with her head on his shoulder. Nick didn't let go of my hand the entire ride home. 

             By the time we turned onto my street, my nails were digging into my skin of my hands, itching for a release. Nick suddenly grabbed my other hand and smoothed out where my nails had dug in. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. the car slowed,and we pulled into the driveway, Mac lifted her head from Nick's shoulder and blinked wearily, "Hey Mac, We're almost home." Mac nodded, and laid her head back on his shoulder, sliding her eyes closed. Nick smiled and shook his head as he got out of the car then turned to help me out. We walked in the house and it was unspoken for us all to go to bed. The entire family was exhausted. Nick didn't bother going to the guestroom first, he followed me straight up the stairs. 

               After tucking Mac in for the night on the pullout couch (my mom had a fit when she found out we were all on the same bed.) We changed into out pajamas and brushed our teeth. Nick climbed onto the bed and patted the spot next to him but I hesitated, "I-I'll be right back." Nick raised an eyebrow, "Where are you going?" Think Demi, think! "I forgot something in the bathroom." I lied, Nick got up, "I'll come with you." I shook my head, "No, you stay here, I'll be right back." I turned around but Nick grabbed my arm. "Demi, I'm coming with you." Anger, as a defensive front, bubbled up in me, "Do you not fucking trust me?" I hissed. Nick shook his head, "I think it's you that doesn't trust yourself. And I'm sorry but no matter how pissed you get at me, I am not letting you throw away all of your hard work because of one holiday." He said back, equal in anger, yet for a different reason. I frowned, then sighed, "Alright, C'mon then." Nick followed me into the bathroom. I avoided looking into the mirror as I passed by ti and I knew Nick wasn't happy. I stood by the toilet, fuming that I wasn't allowed to do what I'd always done after eating. "Turn around." My voice was hort and clipped. Nick sighed and turned to face the door. I self-consciously turned the faucet on and let the water run into the sink while I did my business, then flushed. "Okay. Done." Nick turned around and caught me as I tried to make a run for it, grabbing my hips and pressing me against his body.

         "No, You're not." He slowly turned me around and locked his arms around my waist, stopping any escape attempts. I looked down but Nick lifted my chin to look at our reflection in the mirror, "Tell me," He murmured, "What do you see?" I sighed, "Nick this is stu-" "Tell me. What you see." This time, it wasn't a request. I looked up and down my body in disgust, "I see a girl with a bloated fat stomach, huge thighs, my eyes are two different sizes, and a mouth too big for my face." I finished. Nick sighed, "Do you wanna know what I see?" I kept silent, but Nick went on. "I see a shrimp, with beautiful curves, thighs that are perfect for her body. I see cheeks, that a dimple pops open when she smiles a breathtaking smile that millions of people love to see. I see chocolate brown eyes, that light up when you talk about something you're passionate about. I look in this mirror and I see the most beautiful woman in the entire world, yet she see's none of that. So What can I do to fix that?" Nick turned me around and pressed me against the door, he leaned in close, pressing his body against mine and looking deep into my eyes. "I'm going to make it my personal life-goal to show this girl that she is the most beautiful person to ever walk on this earth,. No matter how many times I have to tell her, I will say it over and over and over again, I'll tell this girl that she's beautiful every second of every single day. Until she whole-heartedly looks in the mirror and believes it." 

"I promise." 

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Okay well that was fucking cute. #Nemi 

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