"Okay... now breathe," Merloo whispered gently. 

His hands were on top of mine and his eyes were closed. Not pressed shut, though. Just gently closed. He wasn't tense in the slightest, which in turn made me relax. I often reflected the mood of the people around me, so I loved being close to Merloo. He had this kind, calm energy that always surrounded him. 

The sun was just setting as the two of us sat on top of his roof. We met up here often to practice magic. He liked to teleport the two of us up on top of his house. The air was just slightly cooler up there. Lighter. This was what he called his "safe space." 

Safe spaces were not panic rooms to hide in during emergencies like I initially assumed they would be when he brought them up months ago, but places where a person doesn't have to be afraid to be fully themself. Merloo said that they were the perfect place to experiment and explore powers. 

I wondered what my safe space was... Merloo said everyone had one, but I didn't. No particular location felt completely safe. Could Merloo count as my safe space?

I still couldn't teleport. It was something he and I had been working on for months now, but I just couldn't get it. I wanted to, more than anything. Teleporting was my escape. My way out. If I could teleport, I could do what El couldn't. I could escape my fate. But I couldn't get the skill down, no matter how hard I focused. Hours upon hours were spent sitting on that roof focusing. That's what Merloo said it took--extreme focus. 

I think it just takes luck. Something I didn't have much of.

My silencing was less than a month away. I didn't have time to keep focusing and hoping it would just happen. Frustrations were making it hard for me to make any progress at all. I needed to get this skill down. My life and freedom were on the line. 

So, when Merloo suggested we switch gears and try something else, I was a bit reluctant. But, he said this was something he always wanted to test. He promised it would be helpful.

"Shylo, it'll be okay," he told me in a soothing voice. "There's tension in your hands. You need to let it go, just for a second."

His voice was always soothing, but there were different levels. Sometimes, he'd be extra gentle with his words to calm me down. This was never necessary, though, because his voice was naturally calming, even in its normal state. 

"I don't see what it is we're trying to do," I muttered as I closed my eyes as well. "My silencing is soon, and if I can't teleport, how am I supposed to escape?"

"I'm working on that," he stated calmly. "Just trust me, and trust yourself."

I wanted to roll my eyes. Trust myself? How was I supposed to trust myself when I couldn't even accomplish this one simple thing after almost a year of training? I didn't even know what I looked like. I'd trust him with my life, but me? I'd rather trust the leaders again than trust myself. 

This was stupid, really. I didn't have time to take things slow. Maybe I did months ago, but not anymore. I wasn't picking up the right skills fast enough. All I could do was make little Sparkies, and Sparky didn't make me as proud anymore. He was old news now.

"Merloo, I-"

"Shh..." he hummed. "You need to clear your head. Picture... picture someplace happy. Someplace you feel safe."

"Will this help me teleport?" I asked.

"No. Well... in a way. I'm trying to combine our powers so we can create something. Something that may be able to help you if you don't get teleporting down in time," he breathed. "Remember how I mentioned the roof was my safe space? We're going to make you one, too."

"We're making me a roof to sit on?" I asked, skeptical.

"No, not my safe space. But... a safe space," he said. "An alternate way of escaping your silencing. Maybe this safe space is more like a panic room, but one they can't find you in. They won't be able to track you down to it."

I opened my eyes and shook my head. Why didn't he mention that before?! That changed everything!

"Shylo..."

"Right, sorry," I said. I quickly closed my eyes again. 

His hands squeezed mine slightly as he slowly breathed. I tried to match my breaths with his, but I didn't have as much control. I felt like I'd suffocate if I breathed as slowly. 

I felt a strange energy in my hands coming from him. It was like warmth, but there was something else about it. I can't really explain the feeling. Powerful, maybe? Static? Like the air that surrounded El when he first showed me his powers. 

I wonder what would have happened if one of those sparks of El's landed in the creek. Would we both have been electrocuted? Would all the fish inside have died? Is that what happens whenever lightning strikes water? I learned from Merlight that water and magic don't mix, especially electricity magic, but why? Would I ever get the opportunity to learn?

"Now... the safe place... think about what's in it," he whispered.

I kept my eyes shut and tried to leave the thoughts of El and lightning behind. 

A safe place... 

Nothing really felt safe to me. Everyone had the potential to be dangerous, so it was hard to think about what I'd want in my own safe place. If I had been asked to think about this a year ago, I would have wanted The Counter. Now, he was one of the last people I wanted to be near, even if my heart still fluttered whenever I was around him. I hated the way it always did that, why couldn't it stop?

Safe place... 

I never liked the color green before. I used to associate it with fear. After all, it's what The Silencer wore. But Merloo also wore green. His green, it was safer. It made me feel less afraid. The more I got to know him, the less I feared the color. But only when he wore it. Whenever I saw The Silencer, my anxiety and hatred would come back.

The Silencer wasn't in my safe place, though. 

My safe place was completely empty. No one would be there. Just me and Merloo. Maybe El, too, if he was still here.

It would be green. Not the dangerous green, but the safe one.

It would also be a place where I could feel stronger. Where I could BE stronger. That way, no one would hurt me. My safe place, it would enhance the power I already have, that way anyone who comes along could be taken care of with ease. I wouldn't have to worry about being too weak.

It would be a place unaffected by the harshness happening in the outside world, too. No silencing, no thunderstorms, just peace.

"Now, on three we're going to open our eyes," Merloo whispered. I listened as he took a deep breath. "One, two... three."

I slowly opened my eyes, then gasped at the sight that had unfolded. The two of us were seated in the middle of a small, green room. 

There was no one else. It was completely empty. Cold night air no longer blew past us. 

There was a grid-like design along the floor and ceiling, but the walls were covered in beautiful waves etched along them. There were no windows and no doors, but I didn't feel trapped. 

"Yes!" Merloo chimed. His eyes seemed to light up as he stood and pumped his fist into the air. "Oh my stars, we did it, Shylo!"

"What... what is it we did?" I breathed as I slowly stood up as well. I walked to the closest wall and pressed my hand to it. It felt strange. Solid, yet not made of wood or stone. It was like some strange fabric was keeping us in. 

"We created our own dimension," Merloo exclaimed. "I've never been able to do this on my own, my powers aren't strong enough, but it's a concept I've been experimenting with for years! This is a place we can escape to! And the best part is that we're the only ones who can control who goes in and out! You said before that you couldn't just hide with us because they'd track you down, well they can't get you here! It's a safe place! Your safe space!"

I took my hand back from the wall. My eyes followed all the small wave-like patterns engraved on it. Everything was green, but not the scary green. The peaceful green. The version of green that represented tranquility. Merloo's green.

Merloo stepped up behind me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I didn't flinch like I did with everyone else. I slowly looked back up at him. His smile was different than usual. It was soft, but his eyes were bright.

"You... you've improved and grown so much since I've met you," he breathed.

I felt a warm feeling blossom inside as I looked back at the wall. Most days, I'd leave feeling disappointed in myself, like I knew I should have done better. I always felt like I wasn't making enough progress fast enough. But Merloo was never disappointed. Not once did he tell me I wasn't good enough. 

"So... how do I get here on my own?" I questioned. "During my silencing, I mean."

Merloo stilled for a moment. He removed his hand from my shoulder and placed it on his chin. He tapped his foot slightly. He looked a little cliché and silly, like the people in children's stories who are deep in thought. He did things like this a lot. He always felt very animated, like someone from a dream. 

"We'll... figure that out. What's important is that this is a big step forward," he said. "This is something that's never been done before! You and I, we're making history, Shylo!"

Making history...

When I was younger, I thought I'd never make history. I believed the only way for someone like me to make history was by being elected into the leadership. 

Now, I wanted to make all kinds of history. Merloo and I were the first ones to create our own dimension. 

I wanted to someday become the most powerful magician the world has ever seen.

And, most importantly, I was going to be the first person to escape the silencing without having to pay the price. 

Or, I hoped so, at least. I'd just have to be brave enough. It's hard, daring to do the bold. Especially when facing powerful people like the leadership. 

Was I brave enough to make history? 

Merloo seemed to think so. 

"Anyway, we'll keep practicing," he chuckled as he took my hands. I watched as our surroundings changed and we were back on his roof. The sun had set by then. 

I nodded, then looked down. 

"I... should probably get home soon," I said. "Our leadership has been checking up on me more lately. You know, because my silencing is coming up."

Merloo's smile faded slightly as he looked away and nodded. 

"Oh... okay then," he breathed. "Well... get home safe."

I nodded, then walked over to the small fire escape and climbed down. He followed me, then walked me to the edge of his town. He did this most nights before we parted ways. 

When I got to the woods, I turned to wave at him. He waved back, but his energy seemed less bright than usual. There was something in his eyes. He looked like there was something he wanted to say, but he wasn't speaking. 

I didn't like that.

"Merloo?" I questioned. "Are you okay?"

He hummed slightly, then quickly nodded.

"Yeah. Just... stay safe, kiddo," he breathed. "I... I care about you. So don't you go getting hurt, okay?"

I felt myself still.

I care about you.

I couldn't remember ever hearing those words spoken to me. 

I felt myself smile slightly as I nodded and started walking home through a forest that no longer frightened me. 

. . .

I expected my village to be empty by the time I got back. It usually was, especially since the colder months were coming. So, my heart practically dropped with anxiety when my eyes landed on the group of people gathered in front of the auditorium. 

I quickly pushed my way through the crowd to find out what happened. Was someone being punished?! A juicing ceremony happened a few days ago, but there were no issues. Everyone was being obedient. Not one person spat the juice out like El did a year ago.

Was it the fiddle player? That was my first guess. I hadn't seen him playing at any of the ceremonies since El's silencing. He didn't do anything wrong, though. It wasn't his job to play the fiddle. Everyone just allowed him to. It became a kind of tradition. 

I was able to make my way halfway through the crowd, but still couldn't see anything. The adults were too tall and I couldn't push anymore.

"Where have you been, Shylo?" a slightly arrogant voice asked from my left.

I felt myself jump as I turned to face Juday. He was raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. 

"Juday, what's happening?" I asked, lowering my voice slightly.

"It's Rylah's mom. She's dead," he stated casually with a shrug as he inspected his nails. "Some disease."

All my muscles tensed as people continued pushing past me. I stood on my tiptoes and squinted my eyes. In front of the auditorium was Rylah and her dad. The leadership was standing behind them as the two hugged each other. 

Rylah was crying loud, devastated sobs. Her father was silent. 

"I... that's terrible," I whispered. "I didn't even know she was sick."

"No one did. It was sudden," Juday shrugged. 

He didn't seem to care in the slightest. I don't think he felt the same cold, sick feeling I felt. Maybe he wasn't as close to Rylah as I was, although I wouldn't say we were exactly close.

I reached into my pocket and wrapped my fingers around the topaz gem Rylah gave me. 

She told me once that her mother wanted me to have it. Why me, though? Rylah said I was born in November, but how did she know what? How would anyone know that? 

Juday and I stayed in place as time passed and people slowly dispersed. The leaders dismissed everyone, including themselves. Even Rylah's dad left, but Rylah stayed still. 

Once everyone else was gone, I carefully kneeled down by her and placed a hand on her shoulder. I did my very best to do what Merloo would in a situation like this one. 

"She wasn't sick," Rylah whimpered as tears continued to flood from her eyes. "This morning she was fine. Shylo, she wasn't sick."

"Disease works in mysterious ways," Juday said blankly from behind us. I listened as his footsteps drew closer. I wanted him to just go away, go back to trying to impress the leadership. "She may not have looked sick, but she was. This is the way of nature. She fulfilled her purpose. It's honorable, really."

"Don't say that," Rylah begged. "It wasn't honorable. She left me. She was fine this morning!"

"Shh, shh..." I whispered. I hesitated for a second, then carefully wrapped my arms around her. I probably wasn't as good at this as Merloo, but she didn't seem to mind as she leaned into me and continued crying. I could feel her entire body tremble. 

"I can't speak to anyone anymore," she whispered, lowering her voice so only I could hear. "No one else knows how to speak with hands... I didn't fear my silencing before because I knew I could always speak to her... but now? Now... I really am being silenced..."

I stilled for a moment, then pulled back. Her eyes were puffy and red. She could hardly breathe.

"Oh, you're being ridiculous," Juday chuckled. "It's not like one of the leaders died. This is just a parent."

Rylah shook her head, pressing her eyes shut.

"She wasn't just a parent," she whimpered. "Don't say that."

"She was, though," Juday shrugged. "Our parents don't mean much. We don't even know their names."

Rylah sniffled, then looked away. 

"What about the fiddle player? You said she used to be friends with him, right?" I asked.

"What fiddle player?" Juday laughed. 

Rylah and I both turned to look at him.

"You know, the one who used to play before all the ceremonies," I explained as Rylah stifled a sob.

"We never had a fiddle player," Juday said. His voice was slightly harsher. "Right, Rylah?"

Rylah's entire body tensed slightly as she looked down and nodded. 

"What? No, we did! I know we did, we've seen him!" I exclaimed.

"You're confused, Shylo," Juday said coldly. 

I clenched my fists slightly. I wasn't confused. He had red hair and a bright smile. He played during El's silencing. He was real!

"Juday, can... can you go?" I asked.

"Why? Do you like each other?" he asked sarcastically.

"No," I breathed. "Just... please?"

He let out a huff, then turned away and rolled his eyes. 

"Fine, whatever," he snickered. "You two are ridiculous, you know."

Rylah visibly relaxed as soon as he was gone but kept her head low.

"January 21st," she whispered. "You weren't there, but at the juicing ceremony, the leadership told us all that our fiddle player never existed. We never had one."

"But we did," I said. "Don't you remember?"

"I... I'm not sure," she whispered. 

She looked away and burst into another round of tears. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay," I said, even though it wasn't true. 

"Our parents did have names," she cried. "My mama had a name."

I continued to stay beside her, filled with pity and a small hint of jealousy. I never got to know my parents' names. Her mother wasn't like any other parent. She was special. She was more. 

She was the kind of parent I used to wish I had. The kind who made connections, the kind who cared. 

And now, she was gone. Without warning, she was gone forever. 

"She wasn't sick, Shylo," Rylah whispered between more tears. "I wasn't afraid of my silencing before, but I am now. Now, it's real..."

"Hey, it's alright, it's alright," I breathed, desperately trying to copy Merloo's calming personality. "You won't be alone. I... I'll be there right next to you. It won't be so bad, because we'll all be silenced together."