Every Saturday morning I have my grief counselling session. It gets me out of bed early, which was disappointing as I left River alone in my bed but I said I'd be back later. Today we worked through what I've been ignoring when it comes to Liam, I spoke openly about my feelings over the last year.

It hurt more than I realised. To open up my heart and share everything with my therapist.

I sobbed to the point of choking but afterwards I felt better.

They gave me some tasks to try at home, including not putting too much on my plate at once and focusing on one thing and then another. Giving myself a lot of breaks before I reach burnout and that I should keep a journal of my daily emotions to see if a pattern arises in the future.

Triggers are hard for me because sometimes I'll hear a song or see a person wearing Doc Martens and I'll instantly be reminded of my brother. So now I need to figure out coping mechanisms when I feel a certain way.

But progress is still progress, no matter how little.

I head back to my apartment and push the keys in the lock, opening the door to find my father sitting on the sofa with River handing him a hot cup of something. I stop and glance between them.

"Ah, son," my dad grins, taking the mug to put it down. He stands up and walks towards me. "I'm so glad to see you."

I brace him in a hug. "You too, dad. But I thought you said you'd be round at two o'clock?"

"Sorry, plans changed." He pats my back. "Hope that's okay. River let me in because I knew you were in therapy."

My head shakes and I shrug off my jacket and hang it up, River retreats back to the kitchen where. "Are you okay?" I ask as I sit down beside him.

He hums. "Yeah, I'm okay," he breathes quietly. "How have you been?"

"Coping but getting better... I think."

River soon comes over with another cup and places it in front of me. I flash him a grateful smile. "Thank you," I say as he perches on the chair opposite us.

"How was your counselling?" My father asks with gentle curiosity.

"Hard," I admit. "But it's a start. I realise now that I have so much on my chest that I need to get off and it feels like a relief to tell it to someone who I don't feel like has to carry the burden of it."

My dad cups my knee. "You were never and will never be a burden, Alex."

I smile at him. "I know but it feels better to offload to a professional about everything, it's like I can finally clear my mind of how I feel and do some factory reset."

"But we're still here," River says as he leans forward to press his forearms on his knees, eyes focused on mine. "If you need someone outside of your therapist, you can always come to me, or your dad. No matter what."

"I know," I nod. "Thank you both for being so patient with me. I know it's not been easy for you, dad, to deal with your own grief and mine at the same time."

His arm slides over my shoulders and he tugs me into his side. "I have to look after you, you're my boy. You are my first priority, always."

I nod and enjoy his warmth. "They mentioned even going to group therapy in the week," I say after a few moments. "Said it might help to hear other people's journey with grief, to make friends with people going through something similar. To remind myself that I'm not alone in this."

"Do you want to go?"

"I want to try," I say. "If it helps, I'd be silly not to give it a go."

He squeezes my shoulder once more. "I'm so proud of you, Alex."

"Thanks, dad," I drop my head to his hand and smile. "I've also been thinking that I want to try and find a new job."

"Yeah?" River says with an optimistic grin. "What kind?"

I hum gently and lean forward for my hot drink. "Something a bit more challenging, I love working for William but my time has come there. I've become too comfortable and I need to face new challenges, something different that really excites me. But I need to start creating a portfolio of what I've made to showcase my skills."

"I can help with that," River pushes off his knees and leans back in the chair. "Put it together with you, be your photographer. Whatever you need."

My eyes fixate on my boyfriend and my heart swells at his endless kindness. "Thank you," I tell him gratefully. "I'd really appreciate that."

"So River," my dad says. "Alex tells me that you got a new job promotion."

He bows his head, a smile growing on his lips. "Yes, Sir. Officially a project manager as of Monday."

"That's great news, River. After the performance you created for Liam, you really put together magic and I bet you could light up this town with the positivity it needs." He says cheerily and I glance at River who looks like he could burst with pride.

God, I love him so much.

"It's going to be a lot of work but totally worth it and I am super excited to get stuck in," he says with heaps of enthusiasm.

"I'm pleased for you. For you both. To see you back together." He claps a hand on my back and I try not to spill my drink.

River's eyes sparkle in my direction. "Me too," he nods.

"How have you been, dad?" I ask.

He sucks in a breath and nods. "Taking every day as it comes. The trial will be a tough time but we can get through it together, can't we?"

"Of course," I say with as much confidence as I can give. I'm terrified of what's going to happen but I know we have to stay strong, to give Liam the justice and the closure he deserves. But the thought of having to face the people who killed him–that's going to hurt the most. "We can do it together."

I watch his eyes crinkle at the sides as he analyses me, then he leans forward to ruffle my hair like he used to when we were children. "Stop," I chuckle but he continues.

"My boy," he says proudly and I allow myself to accept this joy from his praise.

My dad hangs around for an hour or so before he leaves with a soppy goodbye. He tells River to look after me but all River does is grin in response and says, "Always."

As the door shuts, River turns to me and presses a kiss to my lips as I stand in the middle of my apartment. I melt into the kiss and rest my hands against his chest, sliding down his arms.

He pulls away and brushes his fingers through my hair and then leaves his fingers on the back of my neck. "I'm so proud of you," he whispers.

"I'm proud of you too," I say back, matching his pitch. "You work so hard and it paid off. I know how much this promotion meant to you."

River rests his forehead against mine gently and closes his eyes. "I'm just so glad I get to be with you, spend this time with you."

I move my head back slowly and take his hand, guiding him to the sofa where we both face each other. Hands in one anothers again, just to feel his skin on mine.

"Me too," I agree. "I can't thank fate enough that I fell into your path."

He flashes me a grin that has me turning soft and gooey inside. I can't believe he's all mine, I can't believe we're in love and I'm in a relationship with a real life angel that has given me nothing but support and faith in myself.

"It happened because we're soul mates," he raises our entwined hands up to our lips and places a delicate kiss on my knuckles. "I won't stand for anything else."

I use my spare hand to cup his jaw gently, grazing my thumb across his cheekbone.

"Thanks for not giving up on me," I whisper.

"Not when I know what we have is so damn special," he says, pushing his face further into my hand and I enjoy the sensation it gives me. "I love you too much to let you go."

A wave of happiness and content washes over my body. "I love you too," I say from the deepest parts of my heart. Giving him everything, all of it. Every last drop. "Sometimes I look at you and I can't believe you're my boyfriend."

River chuckles and I drop my hand. "Why?"

"Because you looked like this sexy bad boy with a golden heart," I state. "And I was just some sad boy from out of town who had never lived."

His eyebrow quirks in my direction. "Sexy bad boy?"

I roll my eyes as he stares me down with that smug look. Everyone knows he's good looking, even if he doesn't want to admit it himself. He's a sight for sore eyes.

"Don't go fishing for compliments now," I say playfully. "You already know how much I fancied you at the start. My eyes practically fell out of my head."

River pulls back and then leans into the sofa, tucking his hands behind his head far too casually then props his feet up on the coffee table. "Hmm... I'm not sure, I think you'll have to enlighten me."

The glint in his eyes has me puffing out a breath through my nose. I lean forward and gently jab him in the ribs and he recoils, trapping me in a hug. "You're so annoying," I grumble. "Don't make me wallow in my crush I had for you."

"You're acting like I didn't have a crush on you either," he says and rolls me into his lap. "I remember when you went out with Luca and I felt this wave of nausea, God it didn't feel good. At first I didn't understand it and then I realised it was a huge amount of underlying jealousy."

My eyes widen at his confession and I glance into those soft green eyes. "There is no way you were jealous of me going on a date with Luca..." I say in disbelief.

"Hell yeah," he responds. "I didn't like it one bit. Sure I wanted you to be happy, Luca too but I just felt this thing for you and now I understand it because you are amazing and I am so grateful to have met you."

I lean forward to grab his hoodie and I tug him towards me, our lips meeting in a soft kiss. His hand clasps the back of my head, it's slow and gentle–everything I need.

"I know my road to recovery might take a while," I whisper against his lips, his dark lashes brushing his cheek as he glances down to my mouth then back to my eyes. "But at least I'm on the right track, with all the support I can get."

River grins and kisses me again, my heart doubling in speed.

We stay like this for a few moments, enjoying the taste and feel of one another.

And that's when I knew everything was going to be okay, maybe not right now, maybe not in a few months. But one day, I'll be the best person I can possibly be because I want to live.

I want to live life until I have experienced it all. Everything it has to offer.

Without River there that day when I was at my lowest, I have no idea where I'd be now.

But that's something I don't need to think about because I am here now, right in his arms where I know I'm meant to be.

❖ ❖ ❖

You can read Luca's book (complete) and the first 9 chapters of the third book in the series over on Patreon!

www.patreon.com/dreammcatcher
Link is also in bio!

Author's Note

I'm so proud of Alex for keeping up with his grief counselling and considering going to group therapy too❤️ he wants to be better and I'm so here for it!

River out here being the best boyfriend ever!

Don't forget to vote if you enjoyed✨

There is an epilogue left and then I'll start posting Luca's story!

Love Savanna x

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