My first week of work has been a success. William is the kindest boss ever and I've grown even closer to my brother as he tells me things he had done for his children's schools and their youth clubs. Always bringing new experiences to those who might not be able to afford after school clubs and hobbies, he did the most for the less fortunate kids.

William could tell how nervous I was but he said that this restaurant is like family and he'll be there to support me every step of the way. After the first hour, I already felt relaxed. River was right, it doesn't take long to settle when you're in good hands.

He even texted me that night. When I got home there was a message waiting on my phone and I couldn't help but smile at the words. He's only asking how my first day went but it means more to me than he realises.

Throughout the week I've been receiving texts from Luca. He's been pushing for a second date but I reminded him that I've just started a new job and I need some time to adjust. He's been very understanding and apologetic in that sense, especially when he expresses how much he enjoyed our first date and he's already dreaming about the second.

I like Luca but I'm unsure if I like him in that way.

Sometimes I think he'll eat me alive. For some reason I feel like the Luca I saw on our first date was only twenty percent of who he truly is and there is a bulldozer behind that persona he put on for me.

This weekend is River's birthday and I've been in the kitchen all morning cooking fresh canapés of mini tacos and chicken skewers and a bunch of other perfect party food. It's the least I could do to be invited to a party. I've never been to one before.

Maybe I shouldn't admit that to anyone today.

And besides, part of me wants to impress him with my cooking skills. He wanted to see what else I had to offer after I brought baked goods to his flat. I didn't want to disappoint him now. Food is most certainly my love language in all of my relationships, including my dad, my brother. It always brought us together when I cooked.

Nothing can't be solved without some amazing food and great company.

I place all of the canapes in little boxes and make my way over to River's door, I can already hear music flowing through the gaps and into the hall.  With no hands I huff out a sigh and use my foot to knock on the door.

Soon River swings open the door, how does he look even better every time I see him?

He's wearing corduroy. God, he looks good in corduroy.

"Alex," his face lights up and then glances down at the boxes in my hands. He places down his beer and races to help me with the food. "Oh God, please don't tell me you did this all for me?"

I shrug gently and smile. "Happy birthday."

River stares back at me, a gentle sparkle in his eye as he beckons me in and places the food onto his kitchen island. "Thank you," he says and then glances at the boxes. "And thank you for this but honestly you really didn't need to do that."

"I wanted to," I admit.

I watch as his eyes rake down my party attire, I didn't wear anything out of the ordinary but I decided to put on my good shirt and my least beaten up pair of trainers. Then without another word, he leans forward and wraps his arms around me. "You're too kind, Alex," he murmurs into my shoulder.

My arms copy his actions and I wrap them around his back. "Well I didn't get you a birthday present, so call us even."

River chuckles deeply into my shirt and it vibrates my whole body, I close my eyes to enjoy the sensation. And when I inhale, I almost collapse on the floor at the fresh, sharp scent of his aftershave. Beyond mouthwatering.

Then when he pulls back I smile and glance away. River opens up the boxes and stares at the wood with wide eyes. "Holy shit," he splutters. "These look incredible."

Soon Demi and Troy join us at the counter, peering over River's shoulder at my creations. "You made these?" Troy turns to me with hungry eyes.

I nod in return, River glances at me out of the corner of his eye. I don't know if I imagined it but I'm sure I saw a splash of proudness flash across his eyes. "These look delicious, Alex," Demi hums in approval. "They smell fucking amazing too."

"Can I have one now?"

"No," River snaps towards Troy. "The party hasn't even started and I don't want Alex's food to be wasted on you and you only."

My cheeks burn and I laugh under my breath. "Fine," he grumbles.

"I put out other snacks on the tables, go eat them," River demands and Troy rolls his eyes.

When Demi and Troy disappear, River walks towards his fridge. "Beer?"

"Oh," I clench my throat. "I forgot to bring any alcohol."

River brushes it off. "Doesn't matter," he grabs a cold drink from the inside door. "What's mine is yours."

He passes it to his other hand and then reaches over the counter to pass me a bottle, I glance down at it and gently take it in my hand. For a second the tips of our fingers brush and I find my breathing increases rapidly.

I pull it back a little too aggressively but River turns back around as if he didn't notice. "Thank you," I say quietly.

River doesn't respond but the corners of his lips curl as he shuts the fridge. "Come," he beckons me. "Let me introduce you to some people."

My lips part and I lick my tongue along the bottom, telling myself that meeting new people is fine. I can do this, especially with some liquid courage. So I bring my beer up to my lips and allow River to introduce me to a room full of new people.

❖ ❖ ❖

I've been trapped in a conversation with Luca for the last thirty minutes, he's a little drunk and I'm definitely seeing the real, unleashed side of him. Not that it's bad but he's just... a lot.

He brought up our date a couple times and I shyly brush it off with work and being busy and that we should take things slow. I think he got the wrong idea because he says that he wants to take things slow too.

Now I'm concerned that I've put my foot in it completely.

I excuse myself to go to the toilet and tell Luca I'll be right back but I need some breathing space. Being around drunk people makes me feel somewhat anxious, especially when I'm not a big drinker myself.

As I walk across the busy room, I spot a large window that is shoved open and a small roof below. I spot a girl sitting there alone and I can't help but think how peaceful it looks, I could really do with some fresh air too.

Without overthinking it, I climb through the window with my half drunk beer and walk to the edge carefully before perching down beside the girl. She turns to me and presses a hand to her chest, jumping slightly.

"Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me," she mumbles and then laughs to herself.

I cringe at my own actions. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. "I thought you heard me."

She shakes her head and flashes me a smile. "Doesn't matter, I was miles away anyway."

My lips curl and I glance out across the skyline of the town. We're not very high up but you can see some lights in the distance. It's Saturday night so it will be busy well into the early hours of the morning, though I doubt I'll be here for much longer.

I've come to the conclusion parties aren't my thing.

"Same," the girl mumbles as she twists her dark hair over her shoulder. "I'm too old for this shit."

My eyes ping wide. Oh I said that outloud. I hesitantly chuckle to myself. "I'm not even old, I'm just socially awkward."

She grins back at me. "I'm Daisy."

"Alex," I nod and she raises her glass to me and we clink them together.

Daisy's head twists slowly and she analyses my face, I feel like I'm under a spotlight. "Ah, so you're the famous Alex."

I blink at her words and open my mouth, my heart pathetically thrashing in my chest. What does that mean?

"River has mentioned you to me a few times," she admits and I pull back slowly.

What exactly has he said and why am I famous in her eyes?

The back of my neck begins to heat and I find myself staring back at her, she's got similar eyes to River but they're a different shade. The shape is the same, along with the curve of her nose.

"I'm his sister," she clarifies and offers me a smile. "To clear things up."

My throat tenses for a few seconds. I don't even want to know what River has told her, that I was suicidal, that I was seconds away from topping myself and he stopped me with his time and his kindness?

Is that why I'm 'famous'?

"I see," I nod slowly and focus on my breathing.

"It's so sweet that River took you under his wing," she flutters her eyelashes softly. "He's always had a soft spot for making sure people are welcome."

I swallow harshly and study her eyes. "Under his wing?"

"Yeah..." she trails off. "After everything he did for you."

Tears form behind my eyes. He told her? All of his friends probably know that I'm some unstable person who needs to be watched in case I decide to end it all. I open my mouth to breathe slower before I start hyperventilating.

I should have known this would be coming. My life is probably hot gossip for them. For this town.

"I nee–" my voice becomes caught in my throat. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay, well hopefully speak to you later?"

I don't manage to see her expression as I stand up from the roof and climb back into River's apartment. I keep my eyes low and pray that I don't bump into anyone. So I head straight for the bathroom instead and thank God that it's empty and I can regain my mental state for a few moments alone.

My hands lean for the sink and I dampen my skin, pressing my palms to my face in an attempt to cool down my body temperature but I'm burning up with paranoia and humiliation.

They feel sorry for me. They all feel sorry for me.

I lower my head and tell myself not to cry. Not here. I have to get out first and then I can distance myself from them.

I don't want pity friendships. I want real friendships.

And maybe I'm not capable of that. Not when I'm so mentally unstable that people want to be friends with you so that their guilt won't arise if or when something happens to you.

They're seen doing something, yet I'm left wondering if any of it was even real.

❖ ❖ ❖

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Author's Note

Hello my loves. What did you think of this chapter?👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼

I know meeting new people when you're not in a good place can be really hard, sometimes it's easy to let your paranoia take over😣

Do you think River told Daisy about what happened?

Also Alex cooking for his birthday party, brb crying🥹

Don't forget to vote if you enjoyed!

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