A/n

In case anyone's confused, this is a collection of short stories, that is, these are oneshots and have nothing to do with one another.

Unedited. Holler if you see any typos.

Comments mean the world to me, so do lemme know what you think! :)

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"That ugly thing is for seven hundred zeroes?" Zyr sneered.

"Hey, don't say that," I said. "Do you know how much you will sell for in the black market?"

Zyr's mouth fell open as he stared up at me. "What do you mean by that?" he growled.

I shrugged and looked away from him and turned to the small shop in front of us.

"Hey, Aan, answer me!" the young prince hit me on my arm.

"Violence is wrong, don't they teach you in school?" I pretended to rub the spot where he punched me. "And I didn't mean anything by it. You think too much," I flicked his forehead.

He glared at me. "I'll tell my father."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, my Prince, do whatever you want to do. Just pick something for now."

Zyr turned to the shop and folded his hands over his chest. "Humph. I don't want anything, these are all ugly."

The old tontin behind the counter shrunk back into her shell and said nothing, only her dark wrinkled face was visible. Her shop was full of decorative-items, miniature figures made with different elements. They were indeed not pleasing to the eyes - crudely made and coloured in dull hues.

"Don't be a jerk," I told Zyr, then turned to the tontin. "Did you make these on your own?" I asked, flashing her a polite smile.

She shook her head, eyes downcast. "They come all the way from Terafenzi."

"Terafenzi," Zyr snorted. "No wonder they are so disgusting."

I smacked him on the back of his head.

"I'll kill you," he hissed, baring his tiny fangs at me.

I ignored him and eyed the things put on display. "Is that... a unicorn?" I asked.

The shopkeeper reached out with a frail hand and picked up a small palm-sized unicorn coloured in a dull violet shade with its horn painted a dirty golden. "Yes, this is made after Earth's most popular animal, the unicorn. It's made of zilver, which is very rare to obtain anywhere in this galaxy."

I took the figure from her hands and ran my fingers through the smooth cold surface. "Why is the colour so worn out?"

"That's because it's hundreds of years old. Only humans have seen unicorns after all."

"I'll take it," I said.

Zyr snorted. "Who're you buying that stupid thing for? Your girlfriend?"

I gave him a look. "I don't have a girlfriend."

He rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to know that?"

"... I'm literally your father's lover."

He humph-ed and looked away.

"How much?" I asked the shopkeeper.

"Fifteen hundred zeroes."

"I'll have you arrested for over-charging," Zyr cried.

Her eyes widened and she vehemently shook her head. "Young Lord, this poor tontin is not over-charging. These come all the way from Terafenzi, several light years away. And the material itself is very unique. You can ask around, I swear I'm not -"

"Aiya, calm down, madam," I said, smiling. "This Young Lord here can't pour himself a glass of juice, let alone arrest someone."

"I'LL TELL MY FATHER HOW YOU KEEP DISRESPECTING ME!"

I ignored him and pulled out the money and handed it to the tontin. "Keep the change," I said eyeing her poor condition.

"Thank you, good Lord." She packed the unicorn, then proceeded to put a small pie into the packet as well.

"What is that?" I said.

"Just something this poor tontin has cooked. I don't sell it because I can't make too many of them. But you're my first customer of the day and you've been so generous, good Lord. Please take it."

I smiled at her and accepted it with a small bow.

"See what good manners get you?" I told Zyr as we walked away. The market was bustling with aliens from all parts of the galaxy. The local ones who recognised us bowed slightly at Zyr as they walked past us.

"Pfft, you got played, you idiot," Zyr replied.

"Like you know anything about trade," I smacked him on the head again.

He jumped, throwing his hands over his head protectively. He then proceeded to hiss at me. Was that supposed to look threatening? With his baby face and those bangs over his forehead, he looked like a harmless kitten. "Stop doing that," he cried. "And I know plenty about trade, alright? It's my second paper."

I choked out a laugh.

"What's funny?" he snapped.

I patted him on the shoulder. "Sure, my Prince, you're going to formulate amazing trade regulations one day. Accusing an old tontin of over-charging! Hah. Couldn't you tell how poor and starved she was? It's the rich who over-charge, my Prince. These poor folks don't have the ability to feed themselves, let alone have the backing required to over-charge. And that's trade, let me tell you! Bet they don't teach that in school, eh?"

"Humph. Like you're so smart."

"I'm dating the king-to-be. Of course I am."

Zyr shot me a look that I was supposed to decipher as a 'look of disgust', then increased his pace and rushed ahead.

Sighing to myself, I increased my own pace to keep up with him as he beelined through the crowded marketplace and made his way to the palace.

We found his father in his private study room. The young king-to-be was asleep where he sat, his head on the table. His hair lay draped all over the papers and notepads scattered on the table.

"We shouldn't wake him -"

"PA!" Zyr cried before I could finish my sentence and all I could do was groan. The kid was way too spoilt!

Zai shot upright, his hair falling all over his face in a way that was too adorable to be legal. "What happened? I wasn't sleeping!" he cried, clumsily trying to fix his appearance.

I chuckled to myself and said nothing.

"I want a new bodyguard," Zyr said jumping straight to the point.

Really? That was why he woke up his father who was clearly exhausted from work (like hello, no one sleeps on the table for fun!)

"Whatever you say," Zai said off-handedly. "Whatever you want, go ask Aan to do it."

I let out a laugh. Yup, ask me to fire myself, I'd like to see the prince try that!

"PA -" Zyr cried and I knew it was my cue to step in and help poor ol' Zai.

"Stop disturbing your father," I said, stepping between the father and son. "Let him rest. You go play around or whatever."

I knew he didn't like listening to me but in front of Zai he had no other choice so he humph-ed and dramatically exited the room.

"What happened this time?" Zai sighed as he watched his son leave.

"Just the usual," I said. I sat down on the cushioned floor beside him and slung an arm around the Prince. He sighed again and leaned back to rest his head on my shoulder. "You work too hard," I said, running my fingers through his hair. "You taking a break won't explode the planet, you know. You're not that important."

"I'm not ready to be the king," he heaved. "Just stab me."

"Ooh kinky, we'll try it next time," I said.

Zai slapped my arm but chuckled nonetheless. "You're having too much fun these days. Zyr complains every time he sees me."

"A good teacher is always despised by his students," I announced. "And you're wrong. I've been having fun since the day I was born."

He raised his head to look at me. "Did you go talk to Liss? They haven't come to pester me about signing the land deal today so I'm guessing you met them?"

"Yup, broke two of their fingers. They won't bother you again."

Zai smiled at me. "I do not propagate violence but Liss deserved it."

I snorted and did not comment on how many ministers' fingers I'd broken on his orders so far. "I bought something for you," I said instead. I took out the packet containing the unicorn and the pie and handed it to him.

He sat up straight and curiously opened it. "Unicorn!" he cried, flashing me a bright smile.

I leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "I know how much you love Earth-relics."

"Thank you, I love it." He caught me by the chin and placed a butterfly kiss to my lips. Seeing my chance, I tightened my hold on his waist and pushed him to the floor. "Aan," he cried in surprise but did not protest as I climbed on top of him. I bit on his lower lip just the way I knew he liked and pried open his lips just the way I knew turned him into a moaning mess.

I continued kissing him till I felt his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back. The moment I broke the kiss, he clasped his hand over my mouth.

"Stop," he panted.

I looked down at the Prince, at his soft eyes and sharp nose, at his red moist lips and disheveled hair. I didn't want to stop.

I knew he knew that too. "I have work," he said.

I pouted and licked his hand that was covering my mouth.

"Aan!" he cried. "Get up."

Pretending like I had been wronged, I rolled off of him and watched him sit up and fix his clothes. I reached out to play with the ends of his hair. "What kind of king will you be if you can't cut yourself some time off?" I drawled.

He ignored me. "What's this?" He picked up the pie and slowly unwrapped it.

"You have time to eat that, but not me?" I rolled my eyes as he took a bite.

Zai's face paled and his eyes widened.

I laughed at his exaggerated reaction.

"Where'd you buy this from?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

My laughter faltered. "Uh, the market right outside. A tontin from Terafenzi was selling it."

His head snapped towards me, his eyes wider than before. "Terafenzi?"

I sat upright, frowning. "Yes. Zai, what's wrong?"

He jumped to his feet, the pie tightly clenched in his fingers. "How fucking dare they?!"

I stood up after him. "What's going on?"

"This is our family recipe!" he cried. "No one else knows of it. To think those bastards somehow stole it! And they're commercializing it too?!" He was shivering in rage. "Our family recipe... in their filthy hands. This precious pie, eaten by millions of lowly scums. No, never. I'll make them pay!"

"Wait, Zai, what are you saying? Calm down -"

But he was already by the communications panel, speaking to Jes, the chief of the army. "We are declaring war on Terafenzi."

Jes was as baffled as I was. "Your Highness?"

"You heard me," Zai cried, eyes red with anger.

"Zai," I piped in, knowing I had a better chance at stopping this madness than Jes. "You can't declare an intergalactic war over a pie-recipe."

"I can and I will. How dare they? Just thinking about that dough in their filthy hands makes me want to vomit."

"Then vomit," I prompted. "Leave the soldiers out of it." I stepped closer to him and tried to hold his hands. "Think about the amount of paperwork a war will generate. You already have so much work."

"I don't care!" He sidestepped and turned to Jes on the screen. "Get my father on the line. We fight at dawn."

"ZAI, don't -"

"AAN," Zyr cried, barging into the room. "Vin stole my personal notepad. I want you to go get it back."

"NOT NOW, ZYR!" I shouted back.

He stomped his foot angrily. "YES, NOW. You're my bodyguard, you have to guard my belongings."

Next to me, Zai was discussing war strategies against one of the strongest kingdoms in the galaxy. I went and turned off the screen, then caught Zai by his waist and pulled him away from the communications panel.

"AAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME GO!" Zai cried.

"AAN, GO GET MY NOTEPAD BACK, RIGHT NOW," Zyr shouted. With my free hand I caught him by the collar to drag him to his room.

"AAN!" both shouted from either side.

My head hurt and all I could do was sigh.

I was not getting paid enough for this.

Bhdjfjhdjdjfjfn pixie-smear made this, come scream with me!!