Chapter Thirty: Lost
N/A: Alright, so stick with me here. This is where we get into the really fun stuff. Well, fun to write anyways. To read... might be a little trippy. I'm trying to picture this like an anime episode- which would be constantly flipping between viewpoints at this time. So... yeah, it's like that.
He was running, most likely. He could feel his feet hitting the earth, then the branches as he darted through the thick forest.
Then black.
The forest again, only it was hazier this time. He faintly knew where he was going. The memory of the offer flashed through his mind. He'd hurt her, that was only the beginning. Tenten wouldn't tell anyone, he knew. At the same time, he couldn't recall if running had been his choice. Kurai's thoughts, his thoughts, the line deviding them had become so... hazy.
It didn't matter.
He'd hurt her.
He had to do something. Kurai would do it again. She wouldn't tell anyone and that only made it worse. If Kurai hated her...it didn't matter if running had been his idea. It didn't matter if he'd always told himself he'd never do it.
The fact of the matter was- and this thought was startlingly sharp- he wasn't going to let himself hurt her again.
The black again.
The trees; the sound of his heavy breathing as he forced himself to continue to run. The sound of Kurai's frustrated questions.
"Where do you keep going?"
Was that fear in the kid's voice?
"I can't feel you when you do that. You can't just--"
The black.
____________________
"What do you mean, he's left?" Tsunade demanded.
Tenten studied her feet. She'd convinced Kazue to allow her to stop and grab a scarf at home, but she still felt as if the hokage's eyes could see the marks on her neck. She was aware that it was most likely her own self-consciousness; the thickness of her throat and the situation they were in had made it difficult to think about little else.
Well, Jun excluded.
"It would seem that he told Izumo and Kotetsu that he'd been asked to collect something for the medical-nin at the hospital. They had no reason not to believe Jun- his hatred for being locked up is common knowledge- and let him through the gates," Kazue explained.
Tsunade tapped her fingers on her desk, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
"How long ago was this?"
"Half-an-hour."
"How unstable is he?"
"... very."
That single word stole away whatever had been keeping her silent.
"He's still him," Tenten added, her voice shaper than she would have liked as she tore her eyes away from the floor as if to challenge their words. "He's Jun."
Tsunade's expression was unreadable as she studied Tenten in response, her eyes lingering on the scarf wrapped around the girl's neck. One of Tenten's hands unconsciously raised to touch the cloth; her expression was no less stubborn than it had been a moment before.
"He's still Jun," she emphasized.
"... I see," Tsunade responded after a moment, her attention turning back to Kazue. "When you were at the hospital before this did you see Momoe?"
"I think so."
"The three of you will go after hi--"
The door into the office broke open, a medical-nin appearing in the doorway.
"Tsunade-sama! Momoe-sama sent me to tell you that Miki has gone into premature labor again. She's having difficulty stopping it."
Tsunade cursed, raising her hand from her desk to pinch the bridge of her nose.
"This team will be the death of me," she muttered under her breath; then, she cleared her throat and raised her voice so she could be heard. "Tenten, Kazue, I'll give the mission to you. Go bring the idiot back, I'm not losing another shinobi to their demons. If you come across someone on your way out, take them with you. If not, I'll send back-up as soon as I'm able. Go!"
The two girls were gone seconds after the order had been given.
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He was in his room.
Or at least, a room that was once his.
Light from the moon seeped in through the window, breaking through the otherwise pitch-black air. It was the familiar nightmare, only no sounds of arguing leaked slipped through the door. Unlike his nightmares...
It was silent.
All of this he noticed from his position on his bed, his back pressed against the plaster of his bedroom wall. His eyes eventually focused on the small bed across the room and how the blankets were tossed to the side. In any other dream, this was the part where he left the room to go look for Jin. He wouldn't find her- or if he did it would be the her that he met the day that she'd left him bleeding out. Either way, he always found his mother instead of the child he'd gone looking for. Even without moving from his bed, he could picture the scene easily enough. Just as she had done that night, she would stop breathing as he desperately attempted to stanch the flow of blood with his hands.
There was no need to leave the bed.
'What was I doing?' he wondered. 'When did I go to sleep?'
Well, it didn't matter. He would wake up eventually. Either that or Kurai would appear to usher him from the room. On the nights like this, the nights when he knew what was going to happen, the boy always appeared to prompt him through the nightmare.
The door peeked open and Jun's eyes darted towards the movement. As he'd predicted, a certain dark-haired, crimson eyed child studied him from the doorway. The expression on the boy's face sent a chill down his spine.
"So, you're here."
Jun cocked his head.
"Where else would I be?"
Kurai's lips twisted up in wry smile.
"Where else indeed."
When Jun only offered the boy a baffled expression, Kurai let out a soft chuckle. He crossed the room in seconds, pressing his hands into the soft mattress before Jun's form.
"Are you comfortable here, Jun?"
"... what?"
That wry smile on Kurai's lips only grew.
"Are you comfortable here? If it's like this, do you mind just staying here for a bit?"
"I... don't understand...." Jun replied, his hands shifting to his temple as a faint pain formed in the back of his mind. "What does that..."
Images flickered through his head. Feelings accompanied them, sharp, painful feelings that had Jun curling in on himself as a gasp escaped his lips. Tears pricked his eyes even as he faintly became aware of the room fading somewhat around him.
The scent and sounds of a forest invaded the scene. He could feel his hands curling around the roof bark of a tree as he swung himself onto another tree. Pain echoed in his shoulder.
Then, as suddenly as the room had faded, it was back. The throbbing in his head grew, the tears in his eyes carving a path down his cheek. It hurt.
It hurt to think. Why?
Kurai simply watched it all, his eyes narrowed in a studious expression.
"Are you comfortable here?" he repeated. "I can make this anything, you know. Rather than the nightmare, I can make it what you want."
Another figure appeared in the doorway, a grin on her lips.
"Oniisan!"
She ran to the bed, crawling up beside Jun. His breathe caught in his throat, the images flashing through his mind forgotten. Jin offered him that bright smile that had once been constantly on her face as she curled up next to him.
"Can I sleep here, tonight?" she asked. "You always chase the bad things away, Oniisan."
"Just don't think about it."
The words drew Jun's gaze back to Kurai. The crimson-eyed boy simply offered him a faint, tired smile.
"Deal?" he asked. "Don't think about it. Don't question it. Just stay here, where it's comfortable. I'll take care of the other things for now. You can come back when I've fixed everything."
"I... I don't..."
"Oniisan, will you sing a song?" Jin questioned, staring up at him with those hopeful eyes of hers. "That one you always sing?"
"The song?"
He was forgetting something, something important.
"Uh-huh," Jin answered, a yawn escaping her lips as she shifted so her head was curled against his arm. "You remember... it goes... A canary sings a cradle song..."
'What was I doing? Was I talking to someone?'
"I remember," Jun agreed. "You sing it really pretty, you know."
"I know. But I want you to sing it, Oniisan."
"Alright, alright. A canary sings a cradle song... sleep, sleep, sleep, child~"
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He landed roughly on the earth, his hand catching against the tree. Almost instantly he sank to a squatting position, his hand rubbing his head.
Had Jun really been in such a fragile state?
He'd been pushing him, certainly... but for his mind to crack so easily. Kurai gritted his teeth, forcing himself to his feet. He started forward again as he dropped his hand to his side.
The break... it was of no concern to him. Hadn't he been wishing for such a thing? It was why the girl had pissed him off so much. Her presence... it changed things. They'd almost died around her, yet he hadn't been able to seize control till last second. She was too dangerous. Getting rid of her... it'd been needed.
He'd made the right call.
Even if Jun disappeared it wouldn't matter to him. If the boy disappeared it made things easier. They'd always known that Jun would most likely be gone one day, this only speed up the process.
Kurai frowned, forcing himself into the trees once more.
It didn't matter, right?
A/N: Really short chapter, but I came to the decision that it was best left there and I'll pick up with Kazue's POV in the next. Hope you're enjoying yourselves~ I've been waiting to write this arc since I decided upon it in Painless! As a side-note, that lullaby that Jin requests is a translation of a Japanese lullaby... I'm pretty sure it sounds less strange in Japanese XD
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