Chapter Eighteen
Two Different People
Alice

"How are you doing Alice?" Bella asked me as she entered the study where I was curled up, reading a book on Carlisle's sofa.

"I'm fine." I sighed.

"I bet you wish people would stop asking you that, huh?" Bella asked.

"I really do. I swear if I hear that question one more time I think it might actually drive me crazy." I giggled and she laughed with me.

"Can I talk with you for a minute?" She asked shyly and I nodded as I tossed my books aside and curled my legs underneath me.

"What's on your mind?" I asked her as she took a seat beside me.

"It's just...you've been a great friend to me since I first met Jasper. When everything has been so difficult and confusing, you've always been there with answers and guidance. I hate seeing you like this Alice, this isn't you." She sighed deeply and I stifled the flash of anger that shot through me.

"There's two people living in my head." I explained. "There's Mary Alice, the human, and there's Alice Cullen, the vampire. Only one can rule at a time it seems. This is me Bella, Mary Alice Brandon, it's nice to meet you, sorry I'm a disappointment." I apologized sincerely for the loss of her friend.

"You're not! I'm sorry for being so rude...it's just a reality check I guess, of how much someone can change after being affected by this life." She sighed.

"Am I honestly that different?" I asked confusingly.

"Yes." She nodded immediately. "When you were a vampire, you always knew exactly what was happening. Edward described you as an all knowing powerful force to me once. You're headstrong and determined and you love people more than anyone else I've ever known. You fight for what you believe in all while being sweet and caring. You have a way of knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. Everyone loves you Alice and you inspire them to do better. That's who Alice Cullen is. She's my best friend and everyone else's too." Bella giggled.

"That sounds very different from myself." I chuckled grimly. "Mary Alice is just an insane girl with a dead mother, an abusive father, and a husband who couldn't care less whether she lives or dies." I grumbled.

"You're so wrong." Bella sighed deeply, shaking her head.

"Oh don't even try to tell me that I'm not crazy. I hate it when people try to deny it." I moaned.

"Oh you're definitely crazy." Bella nodded.

"I am?" I questioned, caught off guard she was actually agreeing with me.

"You must be if you believe Edward doesn't love you more than anything in this world."

"He can't possibly love me as much as I love him. I'm just a silly little girl to him. I'm just his devoted follower that he kept around for a little while to have some fun with." I denied.

"Oh Alice, you couldn't be more wrong." She laughed. "Edward loves you so much. You two are the strangest but most wonderful couple I've ever met. You two get each other in ways I'll never understand."

"Maybe as vampires." I sighed. "But he doesn't want me like this."

"Give it time, he'll prove you wrong." Bella nodded.

"I hope so." I nodded glumly as someone knocked at the door. "Come in."

"Girls, I made you both some lunch. Why don't you come down and eat?" An unfamiliar woman smiled from the doorway.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" I asked her and her face fell into a sad expression.

"I forgot that you don't remember me." She sighed. "I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife. After you were changed you found me and introduced me to Carlisle. You knew we were mates."

"I thought of you as my mom, didn't I?" I asked softly and she nodded.

"Yes, you were my first daughter in this new life. And the first time I met you, you called me mom and scared me." She giggled, but I knew she would be crying if she could.

"I'm sorry, this must be so hard for you." I apologized.

"Yes, but it's not your fault sweetheart. Come downstairs and eat something." Esme smiled and left the room.

"Alice-"

"Lets just go." I sighed and got up, pulling Bella with me down the stairs.

Anthony joined us for lunch and he, Bella, and I had a nice conversation as we ate. I was actually enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. Esme even joined us after awhile. We were having such a nice time that when someone touched my shoulder from behind me it scared me.

I turned and came face to face with Edward.