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Are you really?

I don't think so.

God. I couldn't even convinced myself with that let alone her.

She stares me suspiciously searching for any sign of truth in my words but I know she won't find any,

"Look I really want to go and beat the fuck out of that Shukla but he would probably return me the favour and worse. Not that we are close or anything hell, we rarely have any conversation. He is hot alright, I can see you falling for him but he has more baggage than you could ever think of. You are a good girl, a positivity and he is full of negatively so you see, 'opposite attracts'. I want to warn you although it's not my place nonetheless I will tell you one thing, the moment you feel you are loosing yourself in him, in your love, come back before it's too late."

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Why the hell is she saying all this as if anything is going to happen between us?

Huhhhhh, No chance in hell.

I can't even bear the thought of seeing him right now let alone love, and he, well he is already disgusted with me. I am not going to fall in love with him. The idea alone is absurd. So what if I am attracted to him, I am sure most of the girls are attracted to him. So this must be nothing new for him and though its new for me I believe I would get over it.

I will have to

I have never been more hurt, angry and embarrassed in last few years and it's all because of him. One time was enough to learn my place, I don't need it again.

Hah!

Why are we even talking about him anyway, more so important why I am letting him get me without him being actually here.

Stop this you idiot! !

Trying to lighten the atmosphere, I tease her, "Since when you are so intelligent? "

She narrows her eyes playfully, "I will pretend I didn't hear your question on my intelligence" then her eyes turn sad, gloomy, "To answer your question, I have seen what it did to my sister.  We, I mean me and Noah have simple and stable relationship, the way I want it but I have witnessed what a toxic love did to my sister. Because of that toxic love she lost her baby, she is still recovering from it. "

I feel a kick in gut as I hear the mention of baby, familiar panic tries to rise up, it wants to take me to the dark places I left and I don't want return there, never. I close my eyes as I count to ten to calm my rising panic.

After ten, I take a deep breath as I start  to feel steady again, "I am sorry about your sister. I didn't know you have one."

"Oh well, it maybe because we have met just two days before silly." She reminds me, laughing lightly.

Only two?

Has it really been two days? Why does it feel like a week?

Ah right, I know the answer. It's because I am stumbling from my goal. My focus doesn't seem that clear as it was before. I need to sort myself out and concentrate.

Now you are getting it!

Better late than never.

I stand up, peering at my watch,

"Alright I gotta go."

Ava stops me, "Hey where are you going? Why don't you come with us, there is party around somewhere."

Me?

Party?

I snort at the thought, "Actually I cant, I have to go for job hunting and parties are really not my thing." Shaking my head, I move towards front door.

All right I will let you go for now, but next time I am taking you with me and I won't take a 'no', do you hear me?" I hear her voice after me.

Without turning around, I wave back along with a shout, "Yeah, Yeah!"

Its almost 11 am as I walk outside the campus, since I don't have a car and neither I am planning to owe one. I like walking alone, thinking of everything or anything.

It is mid August, means fall or almost fall season. I love winter but like most of people I enjoy fall too.

Trees are yellow and orange, I believe leaves are about to fall. Here sky seems much clear than back at home.

I feel a buzz, I realize it's my phone, taking it out I see it is grandma.

Ah, what a timing!

Sighing, I press the green button, holding it little away from my ears,

"Hello Grandma."

As expected, "Shehnaaz Gill!!!! Where were you last night? Why did you not pick my calls? Why didn't you call me?!!" She scolds me in a breath.

"Grandma calm down please or else your blood pressure could get high." I sooth her, reminding her illness.

I feel guilty for being annoyed with her when all she does nothing but worry about me.

"I am calm, I am calm. Now answer me. " I relax now that she is finally breathing normal.

"Yesterday after class, I was awfully tired so I slept. Nothing else happened. Why are you always this much worried about me? I can take care of myself. You should be more careful with your health. How could you be so careless about it when you know a little bit of negligence and it can become big problem. I am not there but I am also constantly worried about you. I am in college, I get tons of assignment and now that I am looking for a job too so I can't possibly call you everyday. I promise if something bad happens I will tell you." I tell her as softly as I could, not wanting to hurt her feelings. As this age she easily takes everything to her heart.

She is silent for few moment before she finally let out a soft laugh, "And here I was hoping to give you a solid lecture." Sighing, she continues,

"I know you are a big girl now. I simply don't want to acknowledge it but I guess you are right I should not become hyper on small things. I will try not to worry too much but promise me you will tell me if you have any problem."

I nod then I remember she can't see me. "Yes grandma. I promise. Now I have to go. Bye, I love you."

After hearing her 'love you too' , I cut the call. Reminding myself where I am. Few minutes of more walking around, my stomach grumbles loudly implying how hungry I am. I have not eaten anything since yesterday.

I parade around in the search of a cafe or anything to please my stomach. I see a small, cottage type beautiful cafe 'Shine'. I walk inside and I am instantly hit by delicious aroma of yummy food. The decor is beautiful with red and white combination. It gives a homey feeling. I think it's famous here as almost all tables are full apart from 1-2 tables.

I take a one right- cornered table by the window. I like window seat . A middle aged blonde woman comes to me, smiling she asks for my order. I am always hungry for burger and chicken wings with a cold coffee so I ordered it. She nods before leaving.

While waiting, like always I gaze outside the window trying to figure out everyone's urgency. It's pretty amazing to just sit quietly and stare at people surrounding us and try to figure out what's going on their mind.

I hear someone clearing their throat, I turn around only to find a hot, sexy type good looking guy with black hair and expectant green eyes staring down at me.

He is seriously a hot eye candy from top to bottom with fit lean body and I would totally pass him as a model anytime.

But not like your Sidharth huh?

No... Nothing like my Si....

Seriously?

Just stop thinking about him. He is bad news. I mentally scold myself.

Looking over stranger with raised eyebrows, I ask, "Yes?"

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