Rick's P.O.V

Tears filled my eyes and began running down my face, reaching my mouth and then falling off from my quivering lips.

I sat the picture of Lori and I back on the dresser and threw my head into the pillow..

I can't do this! Why is life so unfair?

I know that sometimes life will deal you bad cards and you have to make the best out of them, but I have only been dealt bad cards my whole life.. What about the good cards?

I wake up everyday, put on a smile for everyone to appreciate  but I don't let them see me suffer. That's the routine..that's the labyrinth. The labyrinth I won't ever escape.

I miss Lori. Her beautiful face and features and everything about her.

I still remember the day I asked her to marry me. It was the best day of my life, besides Carl's birth day..

She said yes between her  cries and then I yanked her up and held her to my heart... Because that was then, and I knew she wasn't going to leave me. I knew if I held her close-- maybe time would stop and I would have the opportunity to love her forever. 

I didn't get to spend forever with her.. Only 19 years...not enough time.

I always wished that I would die before Lori so I wouldn't have to go through the aftermath of losing her.

Because here I am, on the edge of my glory.. About to lose my mind.

I got up and threw my gun across the room.. Where it belonged. Not in my hand, while I'm telling myself to end it.

I'm a coward, I can't do it.
As much as I wish I could, I just can't. 

I can't leave Carl in this awful world to avenge on his own.. I love him too much to let him suffer from losing both parents... He would hurt worse than I do right now.

I just wish that I could wake up with amnesia.

I threw my fist into the wall, from all the built up anger I was holding inside.

I can't seem to find a relief and I'm not going to beat myself up.

I need my sweet escape..

And that's drinking. The only way I can sedate the pain and the sorrow and the woe is to take a few shots to the head.

I stormed out my room and ran down the stairs, to the living room where Carl was sitting,  happily watching some TV show.

"Punched another hole in the wall?" He asked.

He's used to my break downs, every other week there seems to be another hole in the wall, he says.

"Don't wait up for me." I advised.

Carl scoffed and glanced at the time, "It's 10:00, are you really going to drink?"

"Don't wait up for me.." I said once more.

He sighed and walked over to me, "Stay safe. I love you." he said, before turning and heading up the stairs.

I let his words play in my head as I stormed through the front door and got into my truck.

He loves me... Man isn't  that great to hear for once in a while? I kind of forgot what It felt like to love someone so much, until Carl pulled me out the dead end,  of course.

He's all I live for.
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I pulled into the parking lot of Billy's night bar and parked my car in front of the flashing sign

I threw my hands on the wheel and my head against the seat. What am I doing?

I slowly dragged myself out the car and wiped my eyes once more cause I can't let anyone figure that I was crying.

I'm a man and men are supposed to hide their emotions, I think...?

As I walked past a group of guys, all crowded in a group, I could smell the heavy influence of alcohol surrounding them.

They were all shouting for some reason, their words slurred and I could barely understand them..

But one voice, one voice struck me.

It was low and smooth, very feminine. Maybe a guy who's balls didn't drop, I don't know but that person... Definitely didn't belong over there..

I ignored them and made my way into the bar, taking my usual seat right in front of the bartender.

"There's some guys out there loitering,  you might wanna call the cops." I said.

T-dog continued to mix the drinks in his hands but he focused his attention on me, "aren't you a cop?" he laughed.

I chuckled quickly and quietly and ran my hand over my face.

"I'm off duty."

He shook his head and grabbed the phone from under the counter and dialed the 3 numbers. 911.

"Hello?"

"Yes, there's some men hanging around our bar, Billy's night bar, located on Carouso road and I need them gone." he exclaimed.

He said a few more words and finally hung up the phone.

"How are you, Rick?" T-dog asked

"I'll be fine. What about you?" I asked

"I'll be alot better when those guys leave." he said, turning toward the TV that played everything from the security cameras outside.

I stared at the TV and watched as the men pushed someone around in the middle of their circle and shook my head. They are so ignorant it hurts.

"You want the usual?" he asked from my peripheral view.

I nodded and kept my eyes on the TV.

The figure still got pushed around and then all at once, they pushed her out.

And I could finally see her face.

It was Michonne.

I quickly hopped out the seat and busted through the door, meeting the men face to face now.

"Let us see under that shirt." one of the men said. They all laughed and began pushing her around again.

"Leave her alone!" I shouted

Michonne wobbled around, barely able to stand. Her eyes so low you couldn't tell they were open.