Michonne's P.O.V

Today is the day he comes home!

Today's the freaking day!

I ran from door to door, making sure everything was clean and nice for Rick to come home from a long 4 days of duty up in Logeran county.

"Hey," Carl smiled, slowly approaching me with Andre on his hip.

"We're ready to say our goodbyes."

I nodded. Even though I'm so afraid to let my little boy go off to Flowery Branch for a week, this is his chance. He earned his place in the little league soccer tournament.

"Do you have your bags?"  I asked.

He nodded and held Andre a little tighter.

"Yes. We have everything and we're gonna get on the bus safely, you can trust me."

"I do, Carl. Just be safe. Call me when you two are on."

He nodded and held his empty arm out for a hug, and I hugged him like there wasn't a tomorrow.

Next, I grabbed Andre, kissed his forehead and snuggled him tight.

"You go and win this trophy so I can put it right in there," I pointed to the China cabinet that was filled with Rick and Carl's certificates and trophies "and make me and Rick  proud."

"And me." Carl chuckled.

"Will Rick be home when I come home?" Andre queried.

I nodded my head and a smile plastered across his face. Rick would be home tonight, sooner than Andre anticipated.

"Be safe, okay? I love you." I handed Andre back to Carl and they both stared at me with     beady little eyes.

"We love you too." Carl smiled, and with that, he grabbed the keys off the table, and headed out the door.

I'm so paranoid. I trust Carl, he's a responsible boy, but Andre's a piece of work and the kid's got one eye. I mean, it's nice for them to be alone together for a week. That's nothing but bonding time for them-- and alone time for Rick and I.

But Jesus Christ I wish I could go.

I would love to chaperone Andre and see him play in the tournament, but I can't because of my doctor's appointment.

It's in 2 days. Rick's gonna be able to go and I'm so excited about it.

It'll be our first time seeing OUR baby.

When Rick's black truck pulled out the driveway, a piece of me went with it.

There goes my boys.

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The clock read 12:49 A.M and Rick still wasn't home.

He had gotten off duty when there was still daylight, but after that, he didn't call or anything. I just assume he's still driving, even though it only takes an hour or two to get here.

Time went on. I stared at the clock, each second, minute, hour ticking away at my soul. I feared the worst.

What if he's not coming home?

Don't say that M. He's coming home.

I took my place from the living room chair and dragged myself into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk carton. There was only a little left so I drunk straight from the bottle.

My eyes glanced over at the clock on the microwave which read 3:21, then down to my long, freshly shaven legs.

I planned on giving him a good time tonight. I even went out and brought lingerie.

Red lace. His favorite color and panty type he says.

I took a few deep breaths with my eyes closed, and when I opened them, the doorknob of our front door began to rattle.

That's him!

I quickly dashed Into the living room, laid on the chair with my legs stretched out in a seducing manner and watched the door crack open.

He stumbled in and placed his back against the door, sliding down as it closed.

I anxiously hopped up and aided his side.

"Honey..You okay?"

He looked up at me, tears rolling down his face. Red eyes.

"No," he shook his head.

"I did it again. I'm sorry Michonne.."

His raspy cry of help smelled of alcohol and brokenness.

"What did you do?"

I scooted closer to him and placed his draped curls behind his ear.

"I thought about you, and Mike, and Shane -- Lori, Carl. I drunk, Michonne. I drank until my liver gave out on me and I was passed out on a sidewalk."

"You passed out on a sidewalk?" I muttered.

He nodded shamefully and wiped his eyes like a 5 year old.

"I would've been home earlier for you, but I was a dick. I chose to drink."

He sniffled and got up, stumbling a bit to catch his balance.

"I know you're made at me. I'm sorry." He apologized, once again.  "I know I promised not to do it again."

"So why'd you do it?" I asked, still posted against the door.

"Alcohol is the only thing that can make me feel better. I'm stupid."

"I agree. I could've helped you feel better. You should've came home."

He nodded and leaned against the rail of the stair case.

"What was wrong anyway?" I asked. "Talk to me."

"I don't know." He shrugged, tears still coming from his face "I just got sad. I broke down.. 3 times this week."

"3?" I muttered, taken aback by the fact that Rick had a mental break down.

"You need help." I sighed.

"That's the thing," he faked a smile "I don't need help. I'm perfectly fine. I don't need your help or anyone else's."

Here goes the nonsense. The worst side effect of drinking.

"You don't mean that. Look at you. You barely know what you're saying cause you get yourself into shit like this."

"I ain't drunk," he nodded "not anymore. I know what I'm saying and Michonne, I've had more breakdowns than you could ever imagine and look at me. I'm still doing okay."

He licked his lips absentmindedly and wiped his eyes.

"I'm gonna get you a therapist."

"No!"

"Well if you wont talk to me then I have no other choice." I shouted.

"I'm just a little sad!" He shouted back "we all get sad... And mad sometimes, right? So what makes me any different?"

He stared at me with his desperate blue eyes screaming for help and all of a sudden, he began to hyperventilate. It scared me. I had never seen him like this.

I ran over to him and hugged him tight, his limp arms draped around my waist.

"You're depressed, Rick."

"I'm not." He whispered "I swear I'm okay."

"You're lying." I pulled away from him and stared him in the eyes. "It's okay to not be okay, Rick. It's not gonna make you any less of a man, I promise. After all you've been through I understand how you feel. I mean-- sometimes I feel like giving up or giving in.. but I don't. I've been where you are before. Depressed, broken, a little unsteady. But look who I am now."

"A badass." He chuckled faintly "I'm not depressed, Mich'.....but even if I was, you swear you'd still love me the same?" He whispered.

"Yes." I nodded "I'm gonna love you as long as my heart is still beating.  No matter the mistakes you make."

"I'm sorry, I know you want to Punch my in face but I'm really going to try and stop." his face only inches from mine he spoke softly and the hints of alcohol made me gag on the inside.

"I believe in you Rick." And with that, I kissed his lips with everything I had to offer.

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Kinda brain dead at the moment. Sorry for the slow updates and shit chapters.