park jimin;
friday

its raining again today

and it just like adding more seasoning into my already broken heart

i wonder what are you doing right now

are you doing fine,

or perhaps,

are you still crying..?

i kept wondering about you today as i looked out through my room's window

as i blankly stared at the raindrops,

i saw you again,

running under the rain,

i quickly got up and took a closer look as i saw you suddenly stopped right in front of my house's gate,

i wanted to call your name

but stopped as you suddenly turned around and stood there under the rain,

while facing my house,

our eyes met for the second times,

i didnt let the chance go as i put up my hands and waved at you with a wide smile,

a big smile plastered on my face as i waved my both hands toward you,

you were looking,

still looking..

but then,

you gave me a smile,

a bright smile automatically appeared on my face,

as a reply to your smile

its the first time for me

that you finally notice me.

im so happy..

but my smile slowly fade when i saw a tear escaped your eyes..

i could see it,

i know you were crying

eventho youre under the rain

and you were smiling brightly,

but you still cant fool me, yena

i know you are crying eventho youre smiling,

i can see the difference between the raindrops and your tears

after that,

you suddenly turned around

and walked away from my house

im shocked and this time,

i didnt just watch you walking away from me,

i quickly ran downstairs and walked out from the house

the moment i reached my yard,

i was drenched with rains,

but that didnt stop me from chasing you

i kept running and running,

until i saw your back figure right in front of me,

i called out for your name,

but you didnt hear me

you were also running

which made it worst for me to chase you,

chasing after you lead me to a cemetery area

i was wondering

why were you running into a cemetery

to clear up my curiosity,

i quietly followed you from behind

your speed has reduced,

but your tears arent

i could still hear your sobs eventho youve stop smiling,

i tried my very hard to not approach you and wiped your tears,

you suddenly stopped which made me also stopped,

you suddenly kneeling on the ground,

facing a tombstone, a grave of someone,

you suddenly cried out loud,

tears running down on your check miserably,

the noise of the rain couldnt even covered up for your loud cries,

you scared me,

i looked at you as i felt very confused,

what were you doing,

was what i thought.

i wanted to step forward,

but seems like theres something stopped me from doing so,

i dont even know why my hands were shaking,

my voice even cracked,

my heart felt very heavy so sudden,

i felt very confused

why are you crying infront of someone else's grave..?

why are you hurting yourself by staying under this heavy rain..?

whats so important than your own health..?

why you look very exhausted yet very fragile in front of someone else's grave..?

stop... stop crying..

stop hurting yourself..

stop whatever youre doing right now..

you sat on the ground in a really miserable way,

you look so fragile that whoever touch you

you will broken anytime,

youre still crying like theres no tomorrow for you,

you cries as if you want want to cry in blood tears,

this time

you look very very very

extremely hurted.

i clutched my chest as i felt a very heavy and hurt feeling in my heart while staring at your weak back figure,

i dont know why

a tears also escaped my eyes as i saw you kept crying nonstop,

one by one,

the tears dropped on the ground

now i got infected by your tears,

we were both crying under the heavy rain,

in front of someone else's grave

i tried taking a few steps toward you,

and i could hear a few words hardly came out from your mouth,

"im sorry.."

"i shouldnt leave you that day.."

"im such a stupid girlfriend!! urgh.."

i saw you suddenly hugged the grave

and cried your heart out while hugging the grave,

"oh god.. w-why.. why would you take him away from me.. w-why him... he doesnt deserves this.. h-he dont.."

"g-give him back.. give him back!!! i cant live without him!! PLEASE!! GIVE HIM BACK!!"

my tears stopped flowing when i heard your words,

my heart suddenly was beating incredibly hard and fast,

a bad feeling suddenly flood into me,

i slowly walked toward you with shaking legs,

and when i arrived exactly behind you,

i saw something that completely made my world turned upside down,

i saw a familiar name was written on the tombstone that you were hugging tightly like you wont ever gonna let it go,

it wrote...

"PARK JIMIN
13 October 1995 - 06 March 2015
now in God's care."