.29 | A Good Man

{ I can't believe it's been a year since I've updated this, but alas, life has been super crazy and I've been working on an original fantasy novel that I really want to publish in a couple of years. My apologies. I'm getting back into my fanfics though! SCOUTS HONOR! }

Merida's knee bounced nervously as she sat across from Steve in a cozy little booth. He made good on his promise to take her out for rolled ice cream the next evening. Much to her relief, there were no emergencies or bad guys to be taken down that evening.

Steve's life was a constant cycle of battling, resting, and battling again. So tonight was a rare and quiet moment for the first avenger, and she was happy to be spending it with no interruptions.

Tucked away on a quiet side street, the ice cream shop stood peacefully amidst the bustling city.

The moment they stepped inside, the delightful scents of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry enveloped them. The soft clinking of spoons and the gentle chatter of customers created a serene backdrop. Because it was late, there weren't many people around, except for a couple sharing a milkshake in the corner booth and a mother with her son, whose face bore the remnants of chocolate ice cream.

Abstract paintings of various animals adorned the walls, their eyes wide and funny looking. It added a touch of charm, which was one of Merida's favorite parts of the place.

Steve's shoulders were relaxed and comfortable, but she could sense the nervous fervor of his aura as it billowed in a kaleidoscope of colors around him - the bond only having made her awareness of his emotional shifts more noticeable.

They had purposefully danced around the word 'date', but Steve's chivalrous behavior made her view it as more than just a casual thing. How could it not be? After everything they had been through, it was hard to see their interactions as casual. There was something there, like a seedling that had been blooming from the moment she met him.

However, she continued to experience a sense of uncertainty with Steve. Not that she doubted his feelings - quite the opposite. She felt as though she were really starting to understand the depths of his heart. Yet, what gave her pause was the fact that she had never been emotionally close to another man before. Her entire existence had been akin to a chaotic circus performance, filled with confinement and abandonment. The presence of people in her life, particularly Steve, who genuinely cared for her, was still a novel concept.

It both scared and excited her - especially since she was still untangling herself from the trauma that been on imprinted on her heart from Killian. She pushed his horrible face from her mind before his darkness could seep into this wonderful night with Steve.

Her fingers trembled as she anxiously twisted the bracelet Tony made for her around her wrist, passing over the thin scars that served as a physical reminder of her torment. But now, when she grazed them, she didn't feel as deep a heaviness as she once had; the same marks Steve looked at without judgement when she arrived at the tower.

The bracelet, though, was a silent reminder of the dangers that still lurked with her being one of the more dangerous mutants. She wasn't out of the woods yet. There were still those who wanted her back in a cage because they saw her as a danger to society; the head of mutant relations being one of them.

But for the time being, she was safe with the Avengers. And Fury was doing his best to mitigate the situation and uphold her current sanctuary with S.H.I.E.L.D. The beast within her purred, a low hum of soothing that eased her mind and brought her back to the present moment.

"Diana called me this afternoon while you were training." Merida mentioned as she forced a smile, despite the ache of sorrow that pressed against her chest. "She said Ansem was doing well, though he was still adjusting to his new surroundings." Her eyebrows knitted together worriedly, the only part of her face that betrayed the practiced smile she held right now.

Merida wasn't entirely sure, but she had a strong feeling that Ansem would have a sleep-deprived first night at the facility. With the bond they had, she still felt connected to him, and a part of her knew she always would feel that connection no matter where she went. But despite everything, having Steve sitting across from her, his face adorned with a bashful smile, while she quietly committed the details of his face to memory, was definitely helping to lift her sorrows.

In the soft light, his hair emitted a warm and heroic glow of blonde, contrasting against his serene blue eyes. "It might take him some to get adjusted, but I know he's in good hands."

"He is in good hands." She nodded in agreement. "I really like Diana, and she seemed like she genuinely cared for all the animals there." She tucked some of her hair behind her ears, noting the volume that gave her hair a little more bounce and the thickness that had replaced the once thinning strands. All the supplements Bruce had her taking were working.

There was a momentary silence before she inclined her head to the side, carefully studying Steve as she hesitantly spoke. "Can I ask you something?"

"Merida, you can ask me anything." Steve's smile was so warm and welcoming that it caused her own heart to melt.

Merida nibbled on her lower lip, then leaned against the table, resting her right hand against her cheek with her elbow propped up on the table. "How do you turn it off?" When his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, she further explained, "You've been a soldier your whole life. How do you turn it off and simply....live?"

There was still a feeling of being out of place that lingered like a phantom in the back of her mind. She wanted to understand more of how Steve juggled it all...and part of her craved a semblance of reassurance that she, too, could adjust to a more normal way of life.

Steve's gaze softened as he considered Merida's question. His hands found each other clasped tightly on the table. "It's not easy," he began, his voice low and thoughtful. "For a long time, it was all I knew. The battlefield, the mission, the fight. It's like being in a constant storm. You learn to focus, to survive, to protect. But when the storm ends, there's this...emptiness."

Merida understood that more than she cared to admit. Because without the circus and the chaos, she had first felt an emptiness... despite being free from her cage.

He paused, searching for the right words. "It's like trying to teach a soldier to dance. You know the steps, but the rhythm is foreign. I had to learn to let go of the shield when I wasn't in battle, to trust that I'm safe. It's a constant battle between who you were and who you want to be."

Merida tried to fight against the urge to touch his clasped hands, but she was in a losing battle against her instincts. Her hand naturally found its place on top of his, causing his hands to instantly relax. The gentle heat emanating from his hands, hardened by battles, brought her an overwhelming sense of peace.

"Who do you want to be, Steve?"

Steve looked down at her hand, his expression turning inward. "A good man," He replied simply, his gaze distant for a moment. Then, meeting her eyes, he added, "That's what I strive for, at least." His voice held a quiet determination.

Captain America was such a huge part of who he was, but she couldn't deny the glimpse of longing for a normal life that flickered in his eyes. The burden and responsibility of the shield weighed heavily on him, even if he didn't voice it outright.

But his duty to protect the people, to be a beacon of hope and justice for those who needed it, was such a profound sense of who he was too. It was complex, and it only gave her more insight into the depth-filled layers that made up Steve Rogers.

Lost in each other's gaze, they were comfortably content until a burst of sunshine in the form of a curly-haired redhead interrupted their moment.

A polite cough preceded her arrival at their table, two towering cups of rolled ice cream balanced precariously in her hands. Her jade green eyes darted between them, a flicker of recognition igniting in her gaze as she identified Steve as Captain America.

"Here you go," she chirped, setting the treats down and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Don't hesitate to holler if you need anything else." With a playful grin, she turned to leave. When she reached the counter, her eyes widened with glee as she exchanged hushed whispers with her coworker, their heads turning to take a peek at the lucky girl sitting across from Steve Rogers.

Merida couldn't resist a playful smirk as she picked up her spoon, her gaze drifting to Steve's ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate, and salted caramel. Classic Steve. "Playing it safe?" she teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

On the other hand, Merida ordered birthday cake, double chocolate fudge and some blend of peanut butter cups flavor.

Steve's hearty laugh filled the air, a sound as warm and comforting as a summer breeze. It was the kind of laugh that made you smile just by listening to it, a genuine expression of joy that was infectious. "It reminds me of home." He smiled after another spoonful.

Merida hummed in response, a coy lingering on her lips as she took a heaping spoonful of the double chocolate fudge. It was a velvety blend of rich chocolate and gooey fudge sauce that melted deliciously on her tongue.

The concept of rolled ice cream was strange, but it was a pleasant change to the normal ice cream she was used to. When she opened her eyes, they met Steve's as she finished the spoonful, his amused expression causing her to burst into laughter.

"It's so good. I can't help it," she confessed, unabashedly digging in for another taste.

"At the banquet, you asked what my mother was like.." Steve remarked, growing pensive as his brows knitted together in curiosity. "What was your mother like?"

Merida was thoughtful as she twirled her spoon around in her bowl, eyeballing the peanut butter s'more roll before scooping a small bite up. When she finished, she met his gaze and smiled, a flicker of pure admiration reflected in her eyes.

Where did she start with her mother?

"My mother was one of those people that radiated a fierce aura, but she had the kindest soul. You know the ones that walk into a room and capture the attention of everyone? That was her. But..." She paused and felt a warmth to her heart as if her mother was right there in the booth beside her. Her lips widened in a grin. "She didn't do it on purpose. It was just who she was."

Steve listened intently, his expression softening as he spoke about her mother.

"We didn't live a conventional life, but she was always there for me...until she wasn't."

A familiar claw of grief clutched her heart.

"When I saw you drawing that one day, it reminded me of her. Looking back now, I think my mother escaped the reality of our situation through her artwork. But she was so incredibly talented. I used to keep a lot of her work in a chest, but one day Killian was in a mood and he destroyed her drawings because he felt they kept me too weak and sentimental..."

She couldn't help the trembling anger that laced her voice as Killian's names left her lips.

"There's one thing he can't take away from you, Merida." He paused, softly smiling even as the bond forged between them connected him to her pain. "And that's the memories of her." His empathy was evident in his eyes, and Merida felt a surge of gratitude for him.

But he was right, though. She could lose many things, but her memories of her mother and the time they shared were something he could never possess.

And he never would.

A well of tears surged, but she chased them back quickly.

No crying on their first date.

A silence settled between them as they both contemplated their own losses.

"Earlier when I asked how you live after being a soldier for so long....I was thinking again about what comes after....for me." Merida was thoughtful with her words, taking into consideration all the thoughts that had been racing like a roller coaster in her mind, sometimes keeping her awake long into the night.

Merida slowly said, after she had taken another bite of her ice cream, "I want to help people. The how is fuzzy. I don't know in what way, but I want to help people..." A quiet determination laced her tone. With deep contemplation, she chewed a second bite, gathering the bravery to open up to Steve about how she truly felt.

Encouragement illuminated Steve's face, as if he could visualize her paying it forward.

"I just, well, I have reservations about how the world will see me. So many people at the circus were afraid of me, Steve." She paused, a glimmer of pain flickered in her big brown eyes. "I'm learning to embrace this beautiful creature within me, but what if people don't like me?"

His eyes held a steady warmth that mirrored the melting ice cream in her cup.

"The world needs people like you, Merida. People who aren't afraid to be different, to be themselves." Steve paused thoughtfully and added, "Like I said before, some people are afraid of what they don't understand. But there will always be those who will see you for who you are and they won't be afraid. If anything, they'll be inspired by your courage."

After Killian's imprisonment, she started feeling a responsibility to use her voice to assist others who were in similar circumstances to hers. Breaking free from the never-ending cycles of violence was an immense challenge, and her progress wouldn't have been possible without the help of Steve and the others. She felt a strong sense of purpose, and over time, she was confident that she would discover a way to give back to those who needed the same support that Steve had selflessly given her.

"I guess I need to get the mutant relations general off my back first before I try to play hero," she chuckled lightly, breaking the tension, her face lighting up as bright as the neon open sign.

"Is that what you want to do? Be a hero?" Steve asked without a shred of judgement, as his brows knitted together like he was trying to understand her more deeply. 

Merida paused mid-bite and hesitated. "I-well-" His question had taken her aback.

Steve's question hung in the air, a silent pressure on Merida. Her mind raced, trying to pull apart the practicality of his suggestion.

The idea of becoming a hero, of using her abilities for good, was empowering.

But the fear of rejection, of being seen as a monster, was equally potent.

Her cheeks turned bright red as she stammered, "Um, well..."

Finally, she took a deep breath, her eyes locking with Steve's. "I don't know," she admitted honestly. "Part of me wants to prove I'm more than just what Killian made me out to be. But another part of me is terrified of what that might mean."

Steve was deep in contemplation, his thoughts churning as he observed her with a gentle and patient gaze. He merely nodded with genuine understanding, not wanting to discourage her from her dreams of helping others. "Well, whatever you decide to do, I'll be here for you."

"And for whatever it's worth, Merida.." Steve gently added. "I think you can do whatever you set your mind to. If you have a dream about what comes after, take the chance."

Merida's heart skipped a beat.

It was a loaded comment.

She felt through the bond that it meant so much more than just taking a chance on her dreams.

The depths of those patriotic blue eyes hypnotized Merida.

"You know...no one could talk me out of fighting for this country." He chuckled at his own stubborn resilience. "But led me to where I am now. I have this job, this team...it was unexpected, but everything I didn't realize I needed."

Merida's heart swelled with a warmth she hadn't felt in a long time. Steve's unwavering belief in her was like a beacon of hope, illuminating a path she hadn't dared to imagine.

A coy smile tugging at her lips. "Speaking of things you didn't realize you needed...you need to try some of my crazy flavors." She pushed her cup across the table, her eyebrows high on her head. "Take a chance," She encouraged playfully.

Steve laughed, "Okay, okay. If you insist."

Time seemed to stand still as they enjoyed each other's company, getting to know one another more intimately away from the tower, away from the burdening sense of duty and responsibility. 

A warmth, much like a sense of belonging, washed over Merida. 

Perhaps this unexpected connection with Steve was exactly what she needed. And more than he realized...she could see he was already everything he strived to be; a good man. 

I'm SOOOO sorry this update took me so long. Truly. I've been so laser focused on writing original stories that I took a hiatus from fanfiction. BUT I'M BACK BABY!!!! 

I've realized that my love for fanfic is never going to end, nor is my love for writing it. 

So I'm going to hop between my original stories and my fanfics again. :)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's very soft, sweet and heartfelt. I enjoy their deep connection and I'm so excited to explore the bond more deeply in this next act. There will also be some familiar Marvel faces making appearances in this act. ;)

I mentioned this act would be more light-hearted as Merida/Steve get to know each other more and explore the bond like never before seen...but rest assured this story is  still ongoing and we'll get more answers on the bond, her gifts and....

if Killian's reign is actually over...

DUN DUN DUNNNN! ;) 

Thank you for your patience. And thank you for still being here with me!!!