One year later

Till this day, I still write to you.

I still think your beautiful as I see your face constantly in my mind everyday.

It's an unhealthy obsession of you that won't go away and I know. I'm completely insane for still loving you for so long without barely even knowing you.

People say these types of things only happen movies, but no, I'm living it at this very moment and it's too painful to describe.

It'a painful because I'm in love with you and I never got to get you to be mine.

I never got to say everything I wanted to you.

Like, how beautiful you are.

Charming.

Funny.

I never got to get you to say 'I love you' back.

Just those three simple words is enough for me to come off those plump, cherry red lips that form words so perfectly.

This is the first letter I have written to you in a year and I need to tell you something.

I miss you so much.

Everyday your in my head and I never thought love could do such a thing to you really.

I feel so stupid.

So stupid for that first day in middle school.

Sixth grade.

You were in all my classes and once my eyes met your beautiful, brown irises, my heart leaped.

Literally leaped inside my rib cage from the beauty you hold.

I'm still that shy boy from sixth grade. Thinking your beautiful. And in love with you, Holland. Just older.Wiser.

Now noticing I should've finally made a move.

but I didn't.

I love you more than my words on this paper could ever describe.

Louis Tomlinson(former outcast)x

He drops the cigarette that was held between two fingers onto the pavement before stepping onto the fag, letting the black, toxic ashes cascade onto the rough sidewalk. A heavy sigh escapes past his thin, dry lips before he gets up and walks into the campus library. The cold atmosphere engulfs his body instantly once he enters through the double doors. Only silence is heard around him. So silent you could hear a pin drop from a mile away.

The man doesn't go to any specific section but mostly inspects the place with his blue eyes, looking for any book that looks interesting to him. A sweaty hand runs through his untamed hair as he lets out a heavy sigh. He licks the chapped skin of his lips before reaching out and grabbing a book from the shelf on front of him. It's adorned in a blue covering black words beautifully imprinted onto it reading: 'The Fault In Our Stars'. He quietly opens up the book, scanning through the pages carefully. 

Louis shrugs before sticking it under his arm and walking through more shelves that are throughout the whole campus library. Louis' eyes widen when he hears his phone begin to ring and he quickly reaches in his back pocket, the book dropping to the floor with a loud thud, echoing through the building. "Shit." Louis curses as he tries to answer the call who is his mother. He eventually declines it before letting out a shaky breath past his lips and bending down to pick up the book.

The man quickly exits the isle off shelves filled with books and begins walking to girl that sits behind a desk, checking out the books inside. Ge really just wants to leave so he won't embarrass himself any further. He guides his gaze down to his feet that rush to walk down the long isle but regrets it instantly once he comes in contact with another body that collides with his. "What the fuck." he says, annoyed as he stumbles backwards. Books lay on the ground now. "Watch where you going." he snaps.

"Well, I'm sorry douchebag." a feminine voice snaps harshly back. He rolls his blue eyes before bending down to get the books that fell onto the floor, the girl bending down short after him. He picks up three books, her picking up the other three before he finally looks up to the person he bumped into and she doing so after, making eye contact. Louis' eyes widen and he feels his whole world stop spinning at this very moment. His heart leaps and begins racing faster than ever before. To describe how he feels right now is tough, because it's completely indescribable. He's happy, shocked, afraid, nervous, all at once. He doesn't know what to do. He can't just give her the books and walk away.

He blinks once he notices he's been staring and comes back down to earth. Her expression is perplexed, her dark brows furrowed and plump, pink lips pursed. "Can I have the books now or?"

"Wait." Louis says quickly. He doesn't even need to ask because he already knows,but to not around weird and be a creeper maybe it's better to ask. "Are you, Holland Daniel?" She just looks more perplexed as her gaze goes down to the floor before going back into Louis' blue eyes. Maybe he could've asked a different question. 

"Yeah..." she trails off as she slowly receives the books from Louis' hands and stands up. Louis stands quickly after and sticks his hands in his pockets. He licks his lips before swallowing.

"I-I went to high school with you." he states. A small smile finally grows on her lips and he feels slightly relieved.

"What's your name?" He grows saddened since she doesn't even know who he is; but who would really? He never had friends and was shy. He sighs shakily but softly again and smiles back at her.

"I'm Louis Tomlinson." Louis regrets saying his name now because the smile adorned her face beautifully is instantly wiped off and her brown eyes dart away.

"Louis Tomlinson?" she whispers. She looks up into his blue eyes again and smiles once more. "Oh, yeah." Louis feels his heart sting a little but ignores it.

"Yeah." he breaths. "Um, I didn't know you went to college here." Louis says, trying to change the topic and make conversation. She shrugs her shoulders and begins to slowly walk away, Louis follows hesitantly.

"Yeah. I do." she answers, her velvety voice light and happy. "What are studying?" she asks. Louis feels happier now that she asks a question.

"Literature. You?" she lets out a soft chuckle that makes Louis' heart flutter.

"Same."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I've never seen you in any of my classes."

"I haven't really been going to class."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I've been busy." Louis nods.

"Did you need a book checked out." Louis raises his brows.

"Oh, right." he says quickly, looking around for the book causing Holland to chuckle again.

"I have it right here." he looks up to see her holding it I'm her small hand, her lips holding a wide smile. He sends a small smile back before she goes behind the desk and does the process of checking the book out.

"This is a great book Louis." she says quietly as sge eyes it in her hand before handing it back to him.

"I hope so." Louis responds.

"Babe!" A loud voice exclaims in the quiet library, causing both of their heads to turn to the cause of the sound. A guy, Louis doesn't recognize runs up to Holland, pushing Louis with his hip out of the way, causing the smaller boy to stumble backwards. Louis' lips part and he looks at Holland again who gives him a pitiful look before he turns away to not see what happens next. Another man's lips touching hers. Louis quickly rushes out of the library in the colder atmosphere, feeling the air that looms around him blowing against his warmer skin. He shivers and feels goosebumps appear against his tan skin before pulling his hoodie over his head.

He sniffs and walks over to the bench he sat on earlier before opening the book and beginning to read, thinking about Holland, that guy, and how he'll never have her but always love her.

(HEY WATCH THE TRAILER.)