I think, no matter how many times my heart breaks because of you, I will never fall out of love with you.

I know you'll never feel the same way, but I could only hope for the best and expect the worst.

I wish you were in love with me, as much as I am with you. But happy stories like that only happen in the movies and books.

I wonder in the future if I will ever get you to be mine.

Because I really want you to be mine.

I've always wanted to have a family.

Be a father.

And I could only imagine that life with you.

I feel like a zombie today. Like I'm just going with the flow. I don't have the energy to do this work in front of me. The pen is moving so slowly on this paper instead of how my thoughts usually flow out, quickly.

I feel really numb. Too numb. And I hate that I'm spilling all my problems out like this.

This isn't a diary.

This is my note to you,Holland.

Because I love you.

So I'm ending it here.

Love forever and always,

                          Louisx

The boy sighs shakily as his drained, blue eyes look around the classroom tiredly. He's not particualarly looking for anything, just looking because he's bored. He doesn't have the patience for this work in front of him and he just wants this class to end. He internally groans seeing that it won't end until forty five minutes from now. He feels as if he has been in here already for an hour, not twenty minutes. Hopefully, this boring, tortuorus English class will come to an end quicker.

Holland wasn't in school today,so he doesn't really feel up to it. He didn't feel up to it yesterday either when his parents had that fight because of him, but today it's just worse and he wants to leave this world just for some tranquility in his mind.