"I-I have to go," I stammered, quickly backing up and leaving the living room. Luckily, Maria didn't follow.

I stopped in the hallway just outside of the living room, thinking briefly, and then left the apartment. I didn't really want to be at that party so much in the first place, and certainly not now.

So, instead, I went home.

Compared to the liveliness of the party, my apartment was dark and empty. Though it was nowhere near morning, I made myself a hot chocolate and sat at the kitchen table in the dark, sipping my drink and processing the event that had just transpired.

Maria had clearly been interested in me, but I had brushed off her advances, hadn't I? She was nice, but I wasn't into her. I had a great boyfriend that I really, really liked, and I didn't want to jeopardize or end that relationship. I certainly didn't have any intentions of cheating on him.

I stared into my now empty mug, and realized that I needed to call Josh.

So, I put my cup in the sink, and changed out of my nicer shirt, putting on my anxiety sweater. I laid down on the couch to try and relax as I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me." I paused. "I mean, it's Tyler."

"Hey Tyler, what's up?"

"I just...I don't know. I was at this party next door, and I felt uncomfortable, so I left." I could still hear the music blaring from Juan's apartment. "It's really loud."

"Do you want to come over?"

I glanced at the time on my stove, which told me that it was nearly ten. "It's not too late?"

"Nah. You can stay over, if you want. Dallon's at a friend's place, so it'll be just us."

I swallowed briefly, a bit nervous at what he might be implying.

"I don't mean it like that," he said quickly, as if he knew how I felt. "I just mean it'll be quiet. You don't have to stay over."

I played with the hem of my sweater, thinking. "Okay."

"Okay, you'll come over?"

"Yeah."

"Great." Josh's voice grew warmer, and I knew he was smiling. It made me smile, too. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive. See you in a bit?"

"See you in a bit."

I hung up and closed my eyes, just laying there on my couch for a few minutes. It would have been peaceful, if not for the raucous party next door, and my heartbeat, which was just a little too fast. I took a few slow, deep breaths, inhaling for four seconds, holding my breath for two seconds, and exhaling for four seconds. The counting, paired with the slower breaths, helped me to calm down a bit.

After getting off the couch, I grabbed a plastic bag from the closet and threw in some pajama pants and clothes for tomorrow, as well as my toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush. I glanced around my room, looking to see if there was anything else I needed, and threw in an extra pair of socks.

The hallway was dark and loud. The party seemed to be leaking out of Juan's apartment, and some drunken people about my age were laughing about a stupid joke one of them had just made. They didn't look at me as I silently passed towards the stairwell.