So I keep a list of things my friends say because they're hilarious, and I decided to relate them to my OCs since they actually fit surprisingly well. Without further ado, here they are!

Note: if there are multiple lines of dialogue in a single section, my OC would be saying the second part.

LENA SANTOS

—"I wrote this poem about mint chocolate chip ice cream but it was also about, like, death."

—"Why would I go to the ocean? It's like a worse pool."

—"I think John Krasinski is the only one who went from hot to HOT."

—"Harry Styles adopt me challenge."

—"It'll be like 2 o'clock on a Tuesday and I'm crying to Sign of the Times."

—"I can't say what I want to say right now in front of certain people. So, pick a word. It starts with F, and pick another word, it starts with U. Fill in the blanks. Goodbye."

GRAHAM SEAGER

—"I don't even know what everyone was arguing about, I was just sitting there watching Shrek."

—"I would kill my brother for $2 and a stale peanut. Or just a stale peanut."

—"I've had 5 hours of sleep in the past 3 days combined."

—"[Friend], you drive me places, and Kristyn, I don't see you that often so I'll pay for your Shamrock Shakes, but [Friend 2] you owe me $2.34 for that apple fritter."

—*Does a somersault while inside in a giant, metal recycling container and dressed as an alligator* "NYYEEEHHH"

—"Your voicemail box can't be full!! You're in the army!! WHAT IF THERE'S A WAR??"

CALEB JONES

—"In fifth grade, I thought I killed my grandpa because I was gay."

—"I got paid to report on a satellite's findings but our satellite has been down for a month so I'm like 'Day 30: Satellite still giving us silent treatment.'"

—"I don't want to make it to 75 years old. Actually, I don't even want to make it to 35."

—"How you feelin' today?"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

CASSIAN NIGHTFALL

—"What a glorious day to abolish the government!"

—"Then go in for the kill. (Metaphorically of course.)"

—"I WILL MOW YOUR LAWN FOR 75 CENTS. PLEASE."
"It's fücking winter."

DOMINIC SHIRE

—"H*tler must've been trippin' balls."

—"I'm afraid to have phone sex because I don't want to get hearing AIDS."

—"Nobody else wanted the edibles and I didn't want to throw them out so I panicked and ate 2."

—"So I somehow attract guys with serious problems, right? Like we know this. The two guys I'm talking to...ONE COMMITTED A FELONY AT 11 AND THE OTHER ONE LOST 3 SCHOLARSHIP OFFERS BECAUSE OF LEGAL TROUBLE."

—"Yeah I would fück Waluigi."

ONTARI NIGHTFALL

—"Now I go on dates that I actually tell my mom about."

—"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR EX BOYFRIEND HAD A FÜCKING FOOT FETISH."

—"I cried on top of a sand dune."

—"Told my brother I'm bi and he said 'That's rad.' So now I'm getting a pin with bi pride colors and the words 'that's rad' printed on it."

—"Maybe if we get mugged, I can just show them my titties."

FALLON RIVERS

—"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"You're not okay."
"....I know."

—"You're a lightweight."
[Drunk] "I haven't since noon."

—[Me taking care of my drunk friend] "You're a little bitch if you don't drink all this water right now."
"NO YOU'RE WRONG. I'LL TAKE AN ALEVE IN THE MORNING AND I'LL BE FINE."

—"We're gonna move on to plan B. I don't know what plan B is yet, but I'll figure it out as we go along."

VERA PÉREZ

—"The amount of dick pics my mom has gotten off of Christian Mingle.... and then she would ask me what to do and I'd be like 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO JANET.'"

—"I think this is how I'm gonna come out to you. My sexuality is like your spine. It's not straight and it's kinda bendy."

—"There's a hole in your fence. An alligator can just crawl out of the canal and pull up to the function and eat your weed plant."

—"🎶SHUSH GIRL, SHUT YOUR LIPS. DO THE MA—🎶 WHY WAS I ABOUT TO SAY 'DO THE MACARENA???'"

—"I was trying to study but my ADHD ass decided I needed to learn the history of corn growth immediately."

—"Son of a tit."

—"The only thing I'm afraid of is white men named Kyle. If anyone's gonna be a danger to society it's them."

—[Sighs] "I can be a real bitch."

DYLAN

—"I didn't even know what a boy was."

—"I don't understand how people run for fun. Like why are you jogging right now? It is FIVE in the morning."

—"My brother is so stupid that sometimes I pretend I'm an only child."

—"You smol."
"Yeah but I could still break your neck."

—"I don't run because I'm saving up all my energy for the zombie apocalypse. I'm going to be faster than all of you, just watch."

ARES ORTEGA

—[Calmly] "If we gonna fight, just let me know so I can record it so I can get famous and get this money."

—"If we were at the mall and a guy came up to us and pressed a gun to my head, what would you do?"
"I love you but I would run and leave you for dead."

—"I looked God in the eyes and said 'Try me bitch.'"

—"Do you have anything to cut this with?"
"Yeah let me get a garrote."

ILLA WEN

—"3am is the witching hour so we better fall asleep in the next 15 minutes."

NADIA

—"I wanted to draw but then I laid on the floor and cried for two hours instead."

—"Hey do you want my painting? It's called 'My Hopes and Dreams." [Holds up a blank canvas]

THALIA FORKSHIRE

—"My hips can't lie because I don't have any."

MAX AND OWEN SEAGER

—Max: "I will not rest until I have put goldfish in every single one of the bathroom sinks."

—Owen: "I wonder what countries I can take over with this following."
Max: "Wisconsin."
Graham: "WIACONSIN IS NO A COUNTEY"