Shaun decided to vent so he self inserted himself in a fluffy Shuichi oneshot, you can stop reading now since this is pretty much for my own viewing purposes.
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(Shaun's POV)

Normally I'd at least fake being okay during my classes, but even that was long gone. I stared down at no point in particular at the floor, not knowing what time it was anymore. Usually I had a very good sense of time, but it seemed I had no will to keep track anymore. Not like it mattered, anyways. I just had to get through existing for these painful six hours as always.

Nobody ever bothered me once, and I've been doing this for a while now. I sort of did my homework, usually it was incomplete but I didn't care as long as I could get partial credit. I had established A's during mania, so who cared if they slid a little bit or if a few missing assignments showed up?

"Okay, as you wrap up..." the teacher began, though I wasn't listening. Something about homework due Monday. I probably hadn't even started if it was Thursday. I'd probably start Monday ten minutes before the due time- assuming I even remembered. Usually I was asleep for so long at home I forgot about all my homework.

The bell rang for lunch and all the students filed out one by one, except a couple who needed little side conversations first. I didn't really listen or care, and kept to my seat in the corner of the room. I didn't have a desk or a chair, but that was the point for me. I didn't deserve them; I didn't deserve to look at my classmates who actually worked to have a good opinion from the teacher. I was just there because it was in my schedule.

The last student had a somewhat long and cheerful conversation with my teacher before leaving in good spirits to the cafeteria, which made me envious. But then... something unusual happened: the door opened to reveal my friend Shuichi.

"Ah... I thought Shaun might be here. Do you mind if I stay here with him?" Shuichi asked the teacher.

"If Shaun doesn't care then I don't care," my teacher looked over at me for a response though all she got was the tiniest shrug that it was almost unnoticeable, but she knew what I meant from experience, "Be nice to him, then. I'm gonna go have lunch with my friends now. Anything before I leave, Shaun?"

Again I simply shrugged, so she left the room. Shuichi slowly approached me once she left and pulled up a chair, sitting in front of me. However, I didn't look up to meet his face, instead just seeing his shoes and the bottoms of his pants because of the way I held my head.

"Shaun... why don't you go to the cafeteria?" Shuichi asked with a concerned voice. He'd deduced I was going through depression and somehow managed to figure out I was self harming even though I didn't tell him anything, so this question was a little surprising since I figured he'd know.

"...I don't wanna have the chance of people telling me to eat. And the cafeteria's too loud," I explained with a sigh.

Shuichi was quiet for a moment before letting out a small sigh, "You're anorexic too, aren't you...?"

"Yep... I thought that one was obvious," I mumbled guiltily.

"You at least need to eat something though," Shuichi prompted.

I picked up a mini packet of Ritz the teacher had given me before she left, "These are good enough. They're... 200 calories for the whole thing. That's a big breakfast, don't you think?"

"This shouldn't be the only thing you're eating," Shuichi shook his head.

"Well, it is. If you have a problem with it then I can just throw this away or give it to somebody else," I threatened with a harsh tone. I was purposeful in my threat: I wasn't angry with him at all, but I was scared and afraid of him finding out how to persuade me to eat more. That's why I pushed everybody away. Unfortunately, he could see that...

"I know you're not going to throw it away, and if you gave it away your first choice would be me but I wouldn't accept it..." Shuichi took out his lunch box and opened it, rummaging for a couple seconds before pulling out some carrots, "These are low in calories, right? Well... they're healthy too so at least you'll have vitamins."

I stared at the sealed container of carrots for a while before hesitantly taking them, Shuichi watching as I slowly opened them and started eating them. How much did this guy know already? I was supposed to be the Ultimate Predictor and be able to read others, but as the Ultimate Detective he was unreadable and always an enigma.

"...How did you know I was here?" I asked. I'd purposefully not told him where I hid in case he'd done what he was doing now, though I was secretly liking that he'd go out of his way to be so kind to me but I'd never admit that to him.

"You weren't at the cafeteria for a few days so I knew you were hiding out somewhere, and you mentioned that your teacher was being nice so I figured you'd gravitate towards her..." Shuichi explained a bit shyly. He truly did have the skills of an Ultimate Detective to notice and remember all that, and then make the connections.

"Makes sense," I almost bitterly remarked, though it wasn't that I was spiteful. I just felt stupid for not covering my tracks a little better.

There was an awkward silence as I ate and Shuichi joined me, though I was done long before he was. I threw away my trash and returned to my corner, not saying a word because I didn't know how to break the silence. Plus, I still had to add my calories to my tracker. If I went over 500 then I'd subtract my 'debt' from the next day's limit or evenly distribute it between a group of days depending on the circumstances. Plus, I had to always leave a couple hundred calories open in case I needed to eat in front of somebody to 'prove' I was eating.

"Shaun... did you cut yourself yesterday?" Shuichi suddenly asked, and that question honestly kind of rattled me.

"Um... yeah... how'd you know...?" I awkwardly smiled, that was one of my nervous ticks.

"You've been wincing in pain whenever you touch your leg, meaning there's a fresh wound... unless you happened to get a bruise that means you probably cut yourself..." Shuichi sighed.

"..."

"You did it during this time yesterday, didn't you...?" Shuichi looked a little hurt, and the question startled me.

"Wh-?! H-how...?!" I trailed off, feeling a couple of tears in my eyes.

"Shaun... you can't do that... we all care about you and it breaks our hearts that you'd take advantage of being alone..." Shuichi sounded like he might cry any second, which just made me also want to cry.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I shook my head and hugged my knees to my chest and began to tense up, feeling guilty as ever for my actions. I'd felt guilty enough when I did them but I was feeling that guilt all over again.

"Hey... calm down... I just want you to promise me you'll never do that again, and never break the promise and hurt yourself after that..." Shuichi hesitantly patted my shoulder a little, making me look up for a second to see an expression of compassion and genuine worry.

Could I keep this promise? Wouldn't I just break it like every other one I've done...? I'm tired of breaking so many promises I intend to keep...

"Please promise me..." Shuichi repeated himself, though softer.

I had to promise him... I had to keep it, and make sure I did...

"I... I promise I won't hurt myself ever again..." I sincerely promised, already feeling a bit of extra security at my promise. I looked up for a second once more to see relief, which made me relieved.

"Thank you..." Shuichi mumbled. I was a little confused why he would say that but I didn't question it.

"C-can I have a hug...?" I bashfully asked, twiddling with my fingers as I expected a no. But to my surprise, I was responded to with a pair of arms wrapping around my frame securely from the side. Wasn't that an awkward position for Shuichi...?

I used the one arm I could to hug him back, aware of how it would look if I turned to face him. After a few seconds the hug was released, and though it was the afternoon during a school day I was starting to feel drowsy.

"Thank you..." I gratefully met his eyes for the third time.

"Anything to make you happy..." Shuichi softly smiled, and I suddenly yawned.

"I'm tired... can you wake me when the bell rings?" I asked.

"Sure," Shuichi chuckled slightly, and I put my school bag down like a pillow.

"Thank chu..." I closed my eyes and allowed the world of sleep to take over me.
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Word count: 1556