Requested by:  no one
Just dealing with my emotions, don't worry I'm good úwù
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Laying in bed while it was dark outside wasn't how you wanted to spend the wee hours of the morning. You looked at the clock at the side of your bed.

3:45 A.M

You groaned and looked at your walls. Sometimes you wished you could look up, it'd be easier, but you knew the consequences and resisted even though the voices in your head told you to look up. Having enough of everything going on in your head, you got out of bed and put on some clothes that were decent enough for a little early journey. After slipping on your boots you walked out of your house. Breathing in the crisp air, you took your first steps out into the "wild". Putting your hands in your coat, you started your stroll. You looked around and was pleasantly surprised at how peaceful everything was. Pretty soon you were at the public stables, you could rent a horse for a couple of coins. You debated on whether or not you wanted a horse companion. You decided against it, you didn't want to deal with people on your way back to return it.

You continued your walk and held your hands over your ears, won't the voices ever shut up? You didn't understand why you were sad at the most random of times or how whenever you thought you were doing something right, something in the back of your head was telling you that you were wrong. You headed towards a trail that would lead up to a mountain, where you could sit on a bench that was there.  Along the road you looked at the stars, or the stars you could see with your limited view to look up. Sighing, you focused back on the road and kicked away some dirt.

Pretty soon you reached your destination and sat down. You dazed off, looking into the distance. You wanted to look up. The voices in your head wouldn't shut up and you believed it was the only way to make them stop.

Look up. Look up. Look. Up.

Don't Look Up!

"Mind if I sit here partner?"

You were brought out of your daze to find a young man around your age sit down next to you. You noticed you haven't said anything and you quickly shook your head before scooting over to give him some room.

"Thanks partner, names Showdown Bandit, but just call me Bandit for short."

He held his hand out to you to shake and you took it. You heard of him before, just bits and pieces here and there, you didn't go out much to say the least to actually catch a glimpse of him.

"(Y/N), (Y/N) (L/N). Didn't hear or see ya walking up the hill, you a ghost or somethin'?"

Bandit chuckled at your joke and leaned back into the bench.

"Possibly."

You cracked a smile and focused on the town below you.

"So, What are you doing up this early, townsfolk usually rise after five."

You shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep and decided to go for a walk. And you?"

"Just woke up and wanted to stretch my legs."

You looked at Bandit to find he was staring at you. He probably blushed a bit, but your mind was telling you otherwise as you cracked a smile.

He's just being nice.

He probably wants to leave already.

Look up already.

When you snapped out of your daze you realized how close Bandit was to your face. You jumped and he did the same.

"I'm sorry! You just zoned out for a bit and I was just making sure you were okay."

Bandit scratched the back of his neck as he looked away. You looked at the dirt underneath you, your face a bit red.

"It's okay."

You looked up as you heard music coming from the saloon that was open all day every day, but not on Sunday. You nodded your head to the beat a bit and felt a hand tap your shoulder lightly. You looked towards the owner, obviously Bandit, and he held his hand out.

"Care for a dance?"

You smiled and giggled a bit.

"It'd be a pleasure."

You took his hand and stood up (A/N: i apologize if I can't accurately describe country waltz ^^;). You put your hand on his shoulder while he put his hand on the side of your body, keeping your other hands together. You then remembered something that would be best to tell Bandit.

"I can't dance."

Bandit chuckled and smiled.

"I'll teach you."

Don't mess up.

You nodded, trying to push the thoughts away, and Bandit began to explain.

"Let's start with just the basic steps before we do any twirls and stuff like that. When I take a step forward, you step back, on your every six step you turn slightly so we go in a circle of sorts."

You nodded and began to step back with every step Bandit took forward. Pretty soon you two were able to do the basics in wonderful chemistry.

Good thing you didn't screw up.

"You're doing great! Okay, so now we can do outside turns, I'll let you know when I'm going to twirl you by pulling you closer to me and then twirling you. Got it?"

You obviously don't got it.

You're going to end up falling.

"Yup!"

You both went through the motions again and towards the curve Bandit pulled you close to him gently before twirling you. It would have been perfect if you didn't loose your balance and almost fall. Bandit quickly grabbed your waist before you hit the ground.

"Woah! That was a close one!"

Bandit laughed off the incident while you were completely embarrassed of yourself. Well on the bright side, none of your strings got caught.

Why couldn't you do it right?

Master above, you couldn't do a twirl right!

You quickly stood up, startling Bandit, and walked back over to the bench before sitting down and putting your head in your hands.

"Hey, it's alright, it's your first time dancing."

You pulled at a strand of your hair, a habit you gained over the years. You didn't speak a word and continued looking at the floor.

You could never do anything right.

You'll never amount to anything.

Mom and Dad would never be proud of you.

Why are you still here?

Look up.

You started to shake as you tried your best to hold in your tears. Your throat felt nonexistent as you tried to take deep breathes. Bandit panicked a bit, not really knowing what to do as he watched you struggle to breathe.

"Hey (Y/N), you good?"

You shook your head as you felt tears streaming down your face. Oh geez you'd have to ask Doc to extract all the water from your wood when he opens, don't want any rot. Bandit hesitated before putting his arm over you, an attempt to give you a side hug.

"Let it all out, it's okay. I'm here."

You cried for a good minute, before the river that came out of your eyes slowed to a stop leaving only sniffles.

"I-I'm sorry..."

Bandit smiled sadly at you.

"Don't apologize, but if I may ask, what's wrong?"

You sighed quietly.

"To make it short, I'm just really sad. All the time. All day. Every day. I'll put on a fake smile going out so no one asks me what's wrong. I don't want to burden others with my problems. It wasn't as bad back then, but then these voices in my head came around and started messing with my brain. Telling me things like I'm not good enough and such, to the point where they go off at the little things I do wrong. That's why I got upset when I couldn't do the twirl. To be honest, they are the reason I couldn't sleep last night. I hoped a walk and the fresh air would make me feel better, but I guess not."

You smiled sadly and looked towards Bandit, who had a shocked look on his face.

"I know it's not my fault this is happening to you, but... I'm so sorry."

"It's okay..."

Bandit thought for a moment, before he stood up and clapped his hands together.

"I got it! Everyday I'm going to stay with you or near you, so if you every need me I'll be there, anytime you need me just holler. I'll even show you were my hideouts are and you can drop in anytime if I'm not around because of something that's happened!"

You found Bandit's enthusiasm entertaining and giggled, causing him to be flustered.

"I-I mean, if you don't mind me doing that, that is..."

He scratched the back of his neck with his other hand and you smiled. He sat back down next to you.

"Sure, but you don't have to be around me all the time, you need your space too."

Bandit blushed and looked away.

"Well you know how at the saloon- wait you've been to the saloon before right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, so you know how at the Saloon when it gets too crowded you go into a corner?"

"Mmhm."

Bandit blushed more and looked at you.

"You're my corner."

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Word Count: 1538

(A/N): sorry this chapter is late everybody, I was out for most of the day. I'm really sorry if this came out bad, I started writing this yesterday night when I was in a bad place so everything might have been a bit off from where I wanted to take it. Anyways, catch y'all tmr!