I sit in the kitchen with my father. We don't say anything for a while. I look around nervously. 

He is just looking at me. I crack under pressure and i just sobbing. I put my head on the table.

Why did he say those things!? It hurt me so bad... If it was a stranger telling me that..Shit even kai i wouldn't have cared.. 

But they came from Adrian's mouth. He still doesn't say anything and lets me cry it out. When i calm down i sit back up. 

"Do you think i am a coward dad?" My father squints at me and he sighs. 

" Did he say you were?" I nod silently. "How long has he been like this?"

"Like a year his freshman year, my sophomore... He just made it so hard to be friend. He would talk shit, but not like this.." He always couldn't stand jocks so the meat head jokes are whatever but he came at my character. "He told me that we weren't friends but strangers." 

"People change, R.J. You have changed... Whether you want to admit it or not." 

"I want the old Adrian back." I want my Adrian back. 

"Then its starts with Forgiveness."I look at him bummed. 

"Please don't tell me thats the solution. I forgive and all this goes away." 

"Its step 1. You think me and Your uncle Riccardo got along? As you know we are two different people. Riccardo is a hot head. He speaks with out thinking all the time. Believe me.  Adrian got that from him." 

Adrian does tend to say those things when he trying to hide his true feelings.

"What should i do then?"

"Block out what he says because i am 100% sure he doesn't mean it. You need to get past all that and get to the root of the problem." I don't say anything. Some much is on my mind. 

"There was something i read in a book a while ago. It went like this: When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He doesn't need punishment; he needs help. " My father rubs his face. " I am afraid that Riccardo is doing the former than the latter. If thats the case, then Adrian is going to get much worse." 

My dads warning kept running through my mind. What does he mean by worse? Isn't it all ready pretty bad? I need to talk to Kai and ask him about Adrian again maybe kai is bullying him which is causing him so much distress.

"Hello? Earth to R.J?" I wake up from my thoughts. I am currently on a date with Emma. We decided to eat at a burger joint. 

"Sorry." I said to her. She looks at me with concern. 

"You okay?" No.

 I nod ."I am fine." She sighs heavily and rubs her face. 

"I am not though. I found out a huge secret about Adrian and i am not quite sure what to do." 

Secret!? "What secret? What about Adrian?" She looks at me nervously. 

"He told me a year ago he came out to my parents that he's gay." 

And the layers keep adding. I can't wrap my mind around this. 

"I don't believe that."  I say. There is no way. Adrian gay? 

No... No..no... NO!

"I thought that too but it makes sense... My dad got into a huge arguement with him a year ago. He told me that dad hates the fact that he is Gay. It would explain the change in personality."

If this is true why didn't he tell me? It made me feel uneasy because what Adrian said had some truth. Its like we are strangers. 

Why do i feel like shit? Why couldn't he have told me that? 

I thought we were best friends.

"We are not friends... We are strangers.." 

"Emma..."

"Hmm??" Am i the only one who feels like i let him down. "What do you really think of me?"She looks at me blankly. 

"I think are a kind and a goodman. Your determination to be a better person is very admirable." But i am not a good person. A good person wouldn't beat up his best friend. A good person wouldn't make him cry in front of a bunch of people. 

I know one thing for sure... I am definitely in the wrong. She sits next to me and holds my hands. I look at our fingers intertwined. 

"I know you are going to blame yourself, but if he never opens himself up how can we know? You can't blame yourself for any of this." She places her hands on my cheeks and kisses me. I pull her close to me and kiss her harder. 

What unsettles me is that he couldn't talk to me. He is keeping secrets from me and want to know what they are.

And I know just where to start.