~ This chapter contains explicit language which may be offensive to some readers.

Reader discretion is advised~

***

Nakangiting inihatid ni Quaro ang dalawang customers palabas ng shop matapos ang mga itong magpaalam na aalis na. They were the last for that day, and he was closing up the shop. As usual, all his bread was purchased, there were some pastries left on the shelf, pero hindi naman masisira ang mga iyon at maaari pa ring ibenta sa loob ng isang linggo.

"Thank you for your continued support, ladies. Be safe on the street," aniya sa mga ito

"Walang anuman, Quaro," anang isa, "Masarap naman kasi talaga ang cheese rolls mo, kaya binabalik-balikan namin."

"Sa akin naman ay ang pancho bread," the other one said. Both girls were his loyal customers. "Sarado ka bukas hanggang Lunes, 'di ba?"

He nodded. "You know it—nakasarado ang shop sa tuwing Sabado at Linggo."

"See you on Monday, then, Quaro!" panabay na sabi ng dalawa saka nakabungisngis na tumalikod. Sinundan niya ng tingin ang mga ito hanggang sa lumiko sa isang eskinita at tuluyang nawala sa paningin niya.

Bago pumasok ay ini-baliktad na muna niya ang sign sa pinto upang ipaalam sa lahat na sarado na siya. Sunod ay ibinaba niya ang roll-up door at ini-sara ang glass door.

Inayos at nilinis niya ang shop bago iniligpit ang mga tray saka dinala ang mga iyon sa working station. With his newly renovated working station, he had a fun time working. Well, he always had a fun time working, mas nagustuhan lang niya ang atmosphere ngayong bagong pintura ang pader.

And maybe because... he was also inspired.

Inspired? Nah. There's no way.

Dumiretso siya sa sink bago pa man kung saan mapunta ang isip niya. He did his chores, as usual, cleaned everything, and had a quick audit of his items in the pantry. Matapos iyon ay pinatay niya ang ilaw sa shop at sa working station, bago lumipat sa kusina.

He frowned when he noticed the time. It was almost six, and normally, Kirsten would be home then.

Home.

Damn, why did it sound nice in his head?

Ipinilig niya ang ulo saka dinukot ang cellphone sa back pocket. He got her number on his phone; si Kirsten mismo ang nag-save niyon kahit hindi niya hiningi. Ang sabi nito'y papaano raw kung may emergency?

Yeah, she got him again; the Kirsten-fucking-way.

Hinanap niya ang pangalan nito roon; he had never really called her since she saved her number on his phone. Ngayong araw lang ito hindi nakauwi sa oras at hindi naman sa nag-aalala siya pero...

Fuck.

Why would he even call her?

Isinuksok niya pabalik ang cellphone sa bulsa at tinungo ang bagong biling fridge upang maghanap ng lulutuing hapunan. He had been thinking about cooking braised beef for dinner, he heard Kirsten talking about it the other day. Ang sabi nito'y na-miss na nitong kumain ng—

Muli siyang nahinto at nang rumehistro sa isip ang mga ginagawa'y napamura siya nang malakas. Marahas niyang inisara ang pinto ng fridge na ikina-alog niyon, wala na siyang pakialam kung pati ang patung-patong na trays ng itlog sa loob ay umalog na rin. Naiirita siya sa itinatakbo ng isip.

Damn it, I'll just order pizza.

There was a pizza parlor along the opposite street, at nagde-deliver ang mga ito. He'd settle for that, although, kaya naman niyang gumawa niyon kung gugustuhin niya.

Umakyat siya patungong second floor upang doon magpahinga sa theater room. Kirsten had stopped using it as she had been sleeping in his bed—with him—since that night. Noong una'y hindi pa siya komportable— he never brought anyone in his room and had sex with any woman on his bed until Kirsten. He had never slept with any woman before as well, kaya sa unang dalawang araw ay hindi siya nakatulog nang maigi.

Oh well, he wouldn't be able to, anyway, because his dick would stir and he would end up waking her up to have another round of hot sex.

Shit. Hindi na niya nakikilala ang sarili. Bago pa dumating sa buhay niya si Kirsten ay hindi siya ganito. Everything had changed when he let her in.\

Let her in...?

Shit.

Tila pagod na pagod na ibinagsak niya ang sarili sa La Z Boy nang marating niya ang theater room. He opened the leg rest and laid his legs on it. He took his phone out of his pocket and crossed his legs; he'd order pizza and he'll eat it with a beer. Hinanap niya sa contacts ang pangalan ng pizza parlor, at habang ini-isa-isa ang mga pangalan at numerong naka-save sa cellphone niya ay nahinto siya nang may makitang hindi pamilyar.

He frowned and surveyed the number before reading the saved contact's name;

"Sugar?"

He didn't remember saving it.

He opened the contact information to learn more. Maliban sa pangalan ng contact at numero ay madalas siyang nagdadagdag ng impormasyon kaya kung siya ang naglagay ng bagong contact na iyon ay siguradong...

Nahinto siya. There was no other information.

"Kirsten," he mumbled after guessing who the number's owner could be.

Ito mismo ang nag-save ng numero nito sa cellphone niya at ito lang ang maaaring maglagay ng bagong numerong iyon.

Hinanap niya ang pangalan nito roon, at tulad ng inasahan niya ay wala iyon sa contacts. He went back to Sugar and edited the info.

And since he was already on her info, why wouldn't he just ring her?

Well, kung mag-o-order siya ng pizza, at abutan siya nitong kumakain, knowing Kirsten, she would join in without invitation. Ayaw niyang may kaagaw sa isang plate, so he'd take two orders. But he had to know what flavor she would prefer, so a phone call was necessary.

Yep, he'd call her and ask.

That's a pretty decent reason, wasn't it?

He pressed the call button and waited for her to answer. The other line rang, and so did another phone upstairs. Kinunutan siya ng noo at napatingala sa third floor, doon sa silid niya.

He ended the call and the ring tone stopped as well.

Mabilis siyang tumayo at sa malalaking mga hakbang ay inakyat ang hagdan. Nakabukas ang pinto ng silid; dire-diretso siya roon at ang una niyang nabungaran ay ang backpack ni Kirsten na nakapatong sa kama.

He looked around, she wasn't anywhere.

The restroom door was open and the light was off, so she wasn't there either.

Dumating na pala ito pero sa araw na iyon ay hindi dumaan sa shop upang tumambay roon sa dati nitong pwesto.

She sneakily used the back door and went upstairs; but why? And how long had she been there?

Napatingin siya sa veranda at nakitang nakabukas ang sliding door niyon. Iyon ang tinumbok niya. Pagdating roon ay napatingala siya sa hagdan patungong rooftop.

Inisuksok niya ang cellphone pabalik sa kaniyang bulsa at inumpisahan akyatin ang hagdan. He was halfway through the steps when a smell of burning plastic assaulted his nose. Halos liparin siya paakyat sa pag-aalalang may hindi magandang nangyayari sa taas.

Pagdating roon ay ang nakatalikod na si Kirsten ang kaagad niyang nakita. She was still wearing her uniform, and in front of her was the steel drum which he often used to grill meat. He could see smoke coming out from it. At kung ano man ang sinusunod nito roon ay aalamin niya.

Nang tuluyan na siyang nakaakyat ay tahimik siyang naglakad palapit, only to stop when he saw what Kirsten was holding in her hands.

"What are you doing?!" mangha niyang tanong; ang mga mata'y bahagyang namilog.

Hawak-hawak ni Kirsten sa mga kamay ang dalawang malalaking box ng condom na itinatago niya sa closet.

*

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*

Napalingon si Kirsten, nasa mukha ang pagkagulat nang marinig ang malakas na boses ni Quaro sa likuran. Subalit sandali lang iyon at kaagad ding nakabawi.

Balewala itong nagkibit-balikat saka ibinalik ang pansin sa pagsusunog. "Getting rid of the nuisance."

"Nuisance?" manghang ulit ni Quaro; ang mga mata'y nakasunod sa mga packs na isa-isang inihahagis ni Kirsten sa loob ng nag-aapoy na drum. "Woman, this is not a nuisance! This is called protection!"

"Protection for what?" she countered, looking over her shoulder. "Diseases? You had a protected sexual relationship with Paige for years, duda akong may sakit ka."

Huminga nang malalim ang binata. Nais nitong ipaliwanag kay Kirsten ang kahalagahan ng bagay na hawak kaya minabuti nitong kumalma.

"No, wala akong sakit, but—"

"Ahh..." Muling hinarap ni Kirsten si Quaro, at sa nang-uuyam na tinig ay, "You are trying to avoid pregnancy. Natatakot kang mabuntis mo ako?"

"Hindi ako natatakot. I just don't want it to happen."

"Ayaw mong magka-anak?"

"No. Not yet."

"Kailan pa, kung uugod-ugod ka na?"

"Kung handa na ako." He walked towards her and grabbed the box of condoms from her. "Leave my rubbers alone."

"Pfft," she uttered, rolling her eyes up in the sky. "Kung ayaw mo ng pregnancy, pupunta ako sa doktor para magpa-reseta ng birth control pills—"

"No, I don't want you to do that."

Umangat ang mga kilay ni Kirsten sa pagkalito, kaya itinuloy ng binata ang paliwanag. "Hindi mo responsibilidad ang bagay na iyan."

"Why? Bakit hindi ko responsidbildad na—"

"Sa tingin ko'y hindi responsibilidad ng mga babae na isa-alang-alang ang kalusugan nila sa pag-inom ng mga birth control pills— I always believe it has to be the man's responsibility, therefore— leave my fucking rubbers alone."

Kirsten, after hearing what Quaro said, calmed down. Hindi nito akalaing may ganoong paniniwala ang binata; lalo tuloy lumaki ang paghanga nito sa huli. Parang gusto tuloy nitong lapitan, yakapin, pupugin ng halik si Quaro hanggang sa tupukin din sila ng apoy—katulad ng pagtupok ng apoy sa bagay na tinatawag nitong proteksyon.

Kung hindi lang... kaagad na tumalikod si Quaro at sa malalaking mga hakbang ay tinungo ang hagdan.

"Eh kasi naman..." ungot ng dalaga. "M-Masakit."

Natigil ito sa paghakbang at humarap muli. Ang mga kilay ay salubong. "What?"

"Well, the rubber caused dryness and... considering your size, madalas na nasasaktan ako."

"Really?" Tumaas ang mga kilay nito, ang mapang-uyam na ngiti ay unti-unting humulma sa mga labi. "Well, that's not what I heard and witnessed every time we fucked."

"Ano ka ba!" si Kirsten sabay padyak ng isang paa. "Just because I was in pain didn't mean I wasn't enjoying it!"

"Then live with this," Quaro answered tauntingly, raising the box of condoms in his hand.

Kirsten just made a face and crossed her arms across her chest. Habang naglalakad si Quaro pabalik sa hagdan ay nilingon ng dalaga ang drum kung saan naihagis na roon ang dalawang box ng condoms.

Nahanap iyon ni Kirsten sa cabinet ni Quaro nang naghahanap ito ng damit na isusuot. There were big boxes of imported condoms hidden in his closet, at doon naintindihan ni Kirsten kung bakit saang sulok man ng bahay ni Quaro ay may nakatagong condom.

"Hey, you."

Muling napalingon ang dalaga nang marinig ang pagtawag ni Quaro. Nakatayo ang binata sa puno ng hagdan at nakahawak na sa handle.

"I'm ordering pizza— what flavor would you like?"

Pleased, Kirsten smiled. "Pepperoni."

Quaro tilted his head to the side, gesturing at her to follow.

And she did—happily. Katulad ng isang walang muwang na bata na niyayang kumain ng ice cream ng isang mapanganib na estranghero.

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CHAPTER 19 – Holding To Faith