Timofei Rudenko as Bradley Hollands. [he is a model]

draft saved on dec. 23, 2016. published on feb. 19, 2017

song: Grow Up by Paramore

c h a p t e r  t h r e e : eating in class is an act of rebellion

Munch munch munch.

I don't know if it was just me but whenever I eat something in class, it becomes ten times more delicious. Was it just me because I was practically weird as Donald Trump's complexion or every human being thought the same?

I was in the back of the class, eating Lays and not even bothering to hide from my teacher. Her inane rantings about Algebra did not really annoy me. What annoyed me was the fact that I paid for the air inside the bag of these chips. I didn't know air also needed to be paid in this era.

I watched Mrs. Garcia's gargantuan mouth close and open, but blocking out all of the words coming out of it. I continued transmitting chips inside my mouth as if I was watching a silent movie. At least it was better than sitting in my bed all day, waiting for the night to come so I could attend parties. I took my time observing my surroundings. Everyone was trying so hard to listen but was obviously miserably failing. I shook my head, knowing we were all wasting money and time.

Sometimes, I couldn't help but to wonder how it felt like to be normal and not being a reckless kid who did things just to experience their definition of fun. How does it feel like not to go to parties every single night? How does it feel like to be an obedient student who doesn't tend to break rules and make fun of teachers? How does it feel like having a normal life without someone incessantly asking how to be popular and how to stand out in a crowd? But then one thing I never thought would cross my mind appeared.

How does it feel like to have a happy family?

I chuckled at the thought. That was so lame of me to think but I still couldn't shake out the little disappointment I harbored. If only Anna was a normal mother, maybe I wouldn't be such a pain in the ass. I gritted my teeth. I shouldn't be thinking of things that may impair my reputation.

"Hey, Avery."

I was pulled out of my reverie by Douglas' voice. He was siting beside me and so I turned to look at him with a raise of my brow.

"What?" I snapped.

He smirked. He was one of those lame-ass wannabes who thought they looked cool. When in reality, they couldn't even skip one class seeing as they were a bunch of pathetic losers. I was tossing him a flat look, bored out of my mind and was regretting I sat here in the far end corner at the back of the room.

"I'm throwing a party later at my house, wanna come?" He asked with the same smirk plastered on his face which made him look like a kid suffering from bulimia.

I rolled my eyes, "I already have to show up at like, three parties and I don't know how am I going to proportion my golden time in order to attend every single one of them, and you're asking me to stop by your losers' party?"

He was fuming with anger when I finished my sentence. That was what I wanted him to feel so that he would stop nagging me. Douglas only wanted me to come to his parties because of the huge mass of people I always attracted. He didn't deserve that. I saw him picking on a kid who had autism in the hallway the other day which made me repulsed by his face. He so thinks he's such a superstar.

"Fine, then don't come. I don't need you anyway," he scoffed and then turned to his front.

I let out a laugh followed by the ring of the bell. "Yeah sure, loser."

I stood up after slinging my bag over my shoulder and darted out of the horrible classroom. I was disgusted by the idea of going to the school's cafeteria. Besides the fact that they sell probably the most revolting food on Earth, I most likely didn't want to take a risk on seeing Bradley. Just thinking of his name made me wanna cry and throw knives at him contemporaneously. 

I left the school for lunch and drove to the nearest park. It was empty since it was abandoned for nearly two years. The rusty swing sets weren't really appealing since it would cause tetanus if my butt sat there and it failed to balance my weight and would lead to me falling down and stabbing my butt. My imagination sometimes creeped me out, actually.

I sat on the withered patch of grass and pulled out a sandwich from my backpack. It was better being alone than conversing with people who were fake and only befriended you for popularity. I crossed my legs and unwrapped the homemade sandwich I made for myself which consisted of tuna and mayonnaise. After finishing it, I pulled out a whole can of Pringles. The only company who didn't ask money for air.

I guess you could say I was unhealthy but at least I work out on a daily basis.

Halfway through the can, my phone beeped and so I pulled it out from my bag. It was a text from Cindy. I rolled my eyes, she was one of my fake friends who only befriended me for the sake of the so called popularity. My eyes quickly scanned the message.

Cindy Crowell.

I'll pick you up at your house later. Be ready by 7:00 pm.

I typed rapidly, not wanting to associate with her since I would be accustomed by her shrill voice later anyway. I told her yes and thanked her.

Thinking our conversation had ended, I concluded too soon.

Cindy Crowell

Answer | Reject

I contemplated whether to answer her call or just ignore it. I sighed and swiped the green icon. I pressed it against my ear, rolling my eyes.

"Have you talked to Alice?" Cindy asked.

Her question enraged me and so again, the invisible filter I has put inside my mouth was overthrown. "What the fuck?! Are you fucking kidding me, Cindy?" I was shouting.

"I was just—"

"I get it," I interjected. "You were trying to catch some stupid gossip so you could tattle it again to everyone. Aren't you tired of being the gossip girl?"

She was silenced and I know I'd struck a nerve somewhere which made me satisfied. It was true. All she wanted from her friends was popularity and something to spread around the school grounds. She was aggravating, especially to me. I didn't even know how I became friends with this girl.

"I was just thinking because you two are best friends and—"

"Were," I corrected. "I don't make friends with a slut."

I ended the call and tossed my phone inside my bag. Stupid so called friends. I shoved the Pringles inside my bag and stood up, walking toward my car and unlocking it. I sat in the driver's seat for a while, my hands on the steering wheel. I didn't know if I should skip school or just continue the next period after lunch. With a sigh, I started the car and drove to school.

I was 6 minutes late for 5th period. When I walked in, Mr. Humprey was already discussing about History.

"Ms. Duncan," he acknowledged my presence and I raised my brow at him. "Would you please tell me a valid reason as to why you're late?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was eating."

"And that's a valid reason?" His voice suddenly raised an octave and I let out a chuckle.

"Well, I didn't want to starve myself."

He scoffed. "You don't pay attention to time so well, Ms. Duncan."

I shrugged. "I don't give a flying crap though," I said and sat at the back.

"Detention!"

"Thanks," I sent him a teasing smile.

___

I hated how Bradley had control over my emotions even though we had ended things between the two of us.

Maybe it was the fact that I was still in love with him and I was in the stage of denial but nonetheless, I still hated him for breaking me apart. I have never felt so much pain before in my life since he came. He was the only one who had the ability to make me feel weak.

"Bradley, you can't make me talk to her. You surely know that will never happen," I shouted. I was walking backward while he was walking toward me with a look of desperation.

"We're both sorry about what happened," he said with a contrite face.

I stopped walking and he mimicked my actions. I walked toward him, clenching my fist and readying myself to throw a punch but I held myself.

"You fucking idiot!" I yelled. "Do you think I was really that heartless and that I was always numb? I fucking cared about you! But it turned out you never did feel same with me."

"I did—,"

"I don't wanna fucking hear it!" I shouted and turned my back to him, walking to my car.

He gripped my wrist and made me look at him. "Listen, I know I was an asshat but please just talk to her."

I laughed wickedly. "Why? Because it hurts you to see her being hurt?" I asked bitterly.

It stung inside and I knew, once again I was going to be wasted later tonight and cry myself to sleep. But I didn't care. I loved Bradley so much that it hurt. But he didn't care about me and that was what pained me the most.

Yes, I could be heartless and don't give a flying fuck to everyone but when you get invested in someone, it was just hard to let go. Even the most cold hearted person could cry an ocean.

"It does," he muttered as his grip loosened on my wrist.

I willed myself not to cry. Tears were brimming in the sides of my eyes but I looked up and gave him a right hook to the chin.

I didn't look back and I ran to my car, panting when I reached it. I wiped the tears ferociously and leaned against my car, trying to catch my breath. I shook my head, I should've just skipped school after lunch. If I did, I wouldn't be here, crying because of a stupid heartbreak.

"Avery?"

I looked up to find the trajectory of the voice owner. I frowned when I saw a guy staring at me with a glint of familiarity and amusement in his eyes. Who is he?

"Pardon me, dude, but do I happen to know you?" I asked, looking over at him dubiously.

He laughed. "It's me, Tanner."

"Tanner?" I reiterated.

"Tanner-guy-with-you-in-the-holding-cell?" He motioned with his hand. "Does that ring a bell?"

"Ohhhh," my mouth formed into a big 'o'. "The guy who did parkour at a private property!"

He nodded his head vehemently, a smile on his face. "It's such a relief you remembered."

"What brought you here?" I asked casually. I glanced at myself in the tinted windows of my car and thanked heavens I didn't look like I just cried.

"I'm here to pick up my cousin, Jesse," he expounded. "You know him?"

I pondered over the name for what felt like a minute but to no avail. I shook my head disappointingly, "I'm sorry, no."

"It's okay," he said. "Are you okay? You seem a little shook."

"Nah, I'm good," I waved my hand dismissively. "I guess I'll go ahead."

He nodded his head with a small smile. "Yeah sure, see you 'round."

I nodded my head once and unlocked my car, getting in the driver's seat and watching as Tanner walked further into the school parking lot, making his way to the entrance of the school building. I pulled out of the parking lot and made my way to my house.

A little amount food could mend a broken heart.

Wait, scratch that. Loads of food could surely alleviate the pain inside my heart.