Mister J. That's a familiar name. A name I like. One I think I know...

"Harley. Final time: where is Mister J?"

I grinned, exposing white teeth. These gang bosses don't dare say his name.  They call themselves the Beasts. They are no more beastly than the Bat.
"Oh, Beasties. The Joker won't hurt you-much," I said in a sing-songy voice as they cringe at the name I say, "If you let me go, you'll never see me again or hear about this from Mistah Joker. Otherwise....."

The Head Beast stepped forward. "Mister J won't know about this, 'cause ain't nobody gonna tell him."
A wicked-looking knife rested in his hand. One of the voices in my head pointed out, 'Well, you've done it now, Harley. You've talked yourself into a corner. Talk yourself out. NOW.'
"Well, the Joker could always track you down. Mistah J don't do much other than talk a big game. Unless you make him mad.... Then you have to pay."

'Beast Leader' growled.
"You see, that's why we don't confront him ourselves, sweetheart," He spat the last word with such force I recoiled in shock. "We do have heck to pay to him. And I will not let you or the Bat or even the freakin' Joker get in the way of the best gang in Gotham."

I laughed. Hard. For an alarming length of time. Then I sobered and looked him straight in the face.

"Mistah J will hunt you down, steal your stuff and kill you with your own hands. So I'd be pretty afraid right about- NOW!"

A deafening crash sounded and the wall caved in. A purple Lamborghini was the cause of the crash, and it drove through without mercy. It stopped right as it hit the Beast leader. A tall, slim man with tattoos on his face and slicked back bright green hair emerged from the driver's side. He wore a white tux jacket and black pants. The man calmly walked over to me, undid the ropes and looked me straight in the face.

"Oh Harley," he said softly, "why are you always looking for trouble?"

I laughed and buried my face in my hands. Then I look up. I know as his former psychiatrist for at least a year that I have never seen him look any form of relieved to see me. Of course, he did just leave me alone for two hours after he got me out of Belle Reve. Then I disappeared. So I guess that would be kind of alarming.

But it's only so often that I get to rub something in his uncaring, cold face.
"Didja miss me, Mistah J?" I asked with a devious smile.

Joker's face turned stone-cold. Then he got angry. "You had one job, Harley. STAY PUT. That's all you had to do. Two hours I was gone. How do you get yourself into these things...."

He turned away, rubbing his face with his hands.

I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly to look at me. I gave him a half smile.

"What do we do now? 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, we have free reign of this stupid Gotham City."

He frowned. "Not while the Bat lives."

I smiled. "So let's kill the Bat."

"That's my girl," he whispered, and in one smooth motion, he stabbed me with a sedative.

Then I blacked out.

A/N:
The author would like to apologize for this being a REALLY crappy story because it was written last year.

So yeah.