Nantucket Island
April 15, 1848

My fondest Emily,
Allow me to apologize for not having contacted you sooner, but my injuries have forced me to recover at a far slower rate than I had anticipated. It is only through Providence that I am alive today. Again, my apologies to you and our child, but I do have good news which will no doubt be of a positive impact upon our family financially.

I have recovered sufficiently where I am once again mobile to sufficient extent and will once again go to sea to hunt the whale. The owner of the ship has expressed a specific desire for me to be captain. We are previously acquainted from an earlier expedition in which we managed to save one of his ships which was doomed to be consigned to the depths.

I can never determine whether God loves me or hates me, each time he presents obstacles to my life, he again presents the keys to my own redemption and success.

We will be leaving in two weeks time, when the moon is high above Nantucket. We will skirt the Cape of Good Hope and find those grounds where the whale is king. If my math is correct, and we have early success, I should be gone less than two years. There is of course an added bonus for me. We will be heading to those grounds where my injury was suffered by that horrid beast and if god is willing, I feel I will once more have a chance to settle the score.

It may be true that my mother was mad, certainly she was not a typical Quaker, and she has cursed me in her own way, both in actual word, and in the name that she gave me. I do not care.

As for God, he will do what he will and I have no great need for him. He is heartless and cruel, as God should be, he is the captain of my life and of the lives of all and we cannot question his commands. If he shows me no favor I will not curse him, if he does, I shall not praise him. He does not need the approval of one such as myself. I am a simple sailor, a hunter of whales and that is my purpose here on earth.

I have seen the ship and she's a fine one, we have been starting to man her and our crew is almost entirely complete. We have some excellent experienced men, sailors, navigators, and harpooners. We have sufficient pots to rend the flesh of many whales and sufficient storage to hold a fortune in whale and baleen oil.

My first mate is a fine man and an excellent sailor named Starbuck. He's decent and the men like him, as much as they look at me askance. He will be my bridge to the crew and I am sure he will do a fine job.

I've heard much talk. There are those who doubt that I can be mobile with one leg, but I can move nearly as well as when I had two. I work my stump every day building up callous so that it will not be a disadvantage. I go over in my mind each day the accident which brought me to this place and what I will do when finally I confront that beast who so fully scarred my soul.

As I said, the Pequod is a fine ship and we will do a fine job and when I return, I shall be healed once more. I shall be a better husband to you in a better father to my child. I am fully confident. Please take care of yourself and forgive me the constant disappointments I must bring you. While I will not ask for myself, I will pray that God keep you safe and healthy. 

Yours faithfully,

Ahab, captain of the Pequod