"Kukurooku!"

Urgh.

"Kukurookuuuuuu!!"

What the hell?...

"KUKUROOKUUUUU!!!!"

Oh my God!

I grabbed the first thing that my hand could touch– which happened to be a book– and chucked it in the general direction of the God awful noise.

"CAW!!"

The book must have hit the target, because I heard the stupid bird fall with a thud out of my window and into the bush below with a harsh cry.

"And stay out!" I screamed at it. I snuggled back into my pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

Five minutes later...

I walked down the stairs of my house, grumbling and muttering curses.

The peaceful bliss of sleep was so close, yet, so very far.

I turned the corner into the kitchen. Since I can't get any sleep, at least I can get some food.

I opened the fridge and scanned through it, looking for something delicious to make.

Nothing.

Damnit.

I closed the fridge and pondered on what I can eat.

Maybe I didn't check the fridge properly...

So, with that hopeful thought in mind, I opened the fridge again, expecting to see a beautiful piece of cake, or maybe a plate of delicious pasta. Or maybe, at the very least, some eggs or a piece of cheese.

But alas, the fridge remains empty aside from a lone carton of milk.

I sighed. I really need to go grocery shopping today.

So, I resorted to my only option– cereal.

Looking up at the doors of the cupboard, I could already picture the stress of having to go and get a stool to be able to reach the handles.

I'm really starting to think that the person who built this house is just a sadistic prick that loves to see short people suffer.

*Sigh*

If only I wasn't so single, maybe as I'm struggling to reach the handle on my tippy toes, my handsome boyfriend could just come out of my basemen- I mean, room...

It was a slip of tongue.

Anyways. Maybe he could just come out of my room and stretch his arms over my head and *effortlessly* open the cupboard for me.

Sadly, I'm so single that Reddit removed me from a relationship subreddit because the algorithm could sense my singularity.

Even wattpad refuses to suggest romance books to me, lest I gain false hope

Forever alone.

So, snapping out of my daydream, I dragged myself to the small stool that I always keep in the kitchen and brought it over to the bottom of the cupboard.

Opening the cupboard, I searched the inside of it for the desired treat– Kellogg's Coco pops. I just love the chocolate taste of this cereal and it is just divine whether you have it raw or with milk.

With the treat in hand, I closed the cupboard doors back up and was about to get down from the stool when I heard something.

"Craaaaaaw! KUKUROOKUUUUU!!!"

"Ahhhhhh!" I screamed, losing my balance due to the scare and fell off of the stool, landing ass first onto the floor, part of my precious Kellogg's cereal pouring

"Argh! Damnit." I cursed, rubbing my butt. My flat ass didn't help in cushioning the fall at all, so my ass bones hurt like hell now.

I got up and stomped over to my kitchen window and violently pushed it open. There, flapping it's wings around and making annoying sounds, was the stupid rooster from earlier and I'm really mad now.

First, this bird prematurely interrupted my beauty sleep at 5am on a Saturday morning, and now it's disturbing my breakfast.

This is definitely not the first time this is happening. Ever since my annoying neighbor got this deranged bird last month, both the bird and his dog have been tormenting my life. I have complained and they have done nothing about it, or they'd say that "there's no evidence", and I'm not really starting to lose my cool.

"Will you shut up!" I shouted at the bird, and, surprisingly, it did shut up.

"Huh. Strange. But I ain't gonna complain." I went back to my morning routine.

After eating the cereal, I noticed that the dustbin is full, so I decided to take out the trash. So, I put on my slippers– since I always walk around the house barefoot– and went outside with the trash.

Stepping out into the cool autumn air, I took in a deep breath, enjoying the air flowing through my lungs. I took a step forward to head to my trash can but then I felt it.

Squish

I rose my leg up and saw a fresh, healthy size of dog poop stuck under my slipper. I looked up just in time to see my neighbor's dog fleeing from the scene of the crime.

"KUKUROOKUUUUU!!!!"

THAT'S IT!

"KUKURO- Caw! Crawww!"

The next day...

"Wow! Jing Li, I didn't know you could cook so well!" Mrs Jacob, my next door neighbor on the left, complimented.

"Why, thank you, ma'am! I try my very best." I said with a smile. My neighbors seem to be enjoying the cookout I'm having.

"Hey! Have any of you seen my rooster? I've been looking for him all day, he just disappeared." Mr Crawford, my annoying neighbor on the right side, asked.

I took a huge bite out of the wings in my plate and looked him straight in the eyes and said;

"I'd watch that pooping dog of yours if I were you, or I will show you my Chinese descent and he'll end up on a plate."

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A/N: I hope I was able to make you smile, even if it's not that funny. Most of the stuff here is mainly gonna be dark humor.

Please vote if you liked.