★ MINE ★
MISSED YOU LIKE CRAZY

          while fleeing from the vision hunt decree his friend was executed by the Raiden Shogun after challenging and losing to Kujou Sara in a duel before the throne. And when Kazuha arrived, the duel was over and his friend had lost. Kazuha ran away with his friend's dying vision in his hand and the pain in his heart only grew greater.

     He had lost his best friend. Just like he had lost his love. He had no idea where she was. He had no idea if she was okay. He had no idea if she was safe. He didn't even know if she was still alive. But he hoped! That was the only thing he could do. Hope.

     It had been two months since Tomo died. It had been four months since Kazuha had last seen Kimiko and it had been six months since he had last been to Inazuma. He missed all three. He missed his friend. He missed his love. He missed his home.

     Yes, his friend had been stupid and naive, but he had still been his best friend and even though he could understand Raiden Shogun's actions, he was still angry. He accepted it. Tomo's decision and Raiden's, but it still hurt his heart to have lost him.

     His nation was complicated, their Archon was complicated, but he still wanted to go back. He wanted to sit on the beach and look at the sea. He wanted to enjoy the light breeze. He wanted to admire the cherry blossom trees. He wanted to see how the maple leaves changed color. He wanted to hike through the woods.

     And most of all he wanted to tell Kimiko that her lies didn't bother him. Was it a little shook? Yeah. But he already loved her. He didn't care who she was or who she was the daughter of. Kazuha had fallen in love with her through her sweet words, through her magical actions. In her pink eyes, in her bright hair. In her kisses.

     He really didn't care that she was Kujou Kimiko. That dosen't change anything! Of course he would have thought it would be great if she had told him herself, but he still loved her. He simply couldn't help himself.

     He could still feel her kisses and without her his lips felt completely empty, like something important was missing. He could still feel her touch. How she had stroked his cheek, ran her fingers through his hair. All these things that had driven him crazy.

     He missed the feeling she gave him. The tingling feeling in his stomach. The feelings of happiness. He thought about it every night when he wanted to sleep. It was not in purpose. He just couldn't control it. He had to think about her in order to be able to fall asleep at all.

     Because when he thought about her, he could sleep peacefully, despite the losses that plagued him. Then he had beautiful dreams. Full of happiness and full of her. Kimiko.

     In his dreams he saw her smile. That sweet smile that she always gave him. The way her eyes shined when he talked to her. He heard her happy, gentle voice and yes, sometimes he dreamed of him holding her tightly and them kissing. Those were his favorite dreams.

     But as soon as he woke up he felt empty and a wave of sadness washed over him. In those moments, shortly after waking up, he sometimes wished he didn't dream about her anymore. Because it hurt. It hurt him sososo incredibly much.

     It hurt that she was no longer with him. That he couldn't see her anymore. That he couldn't talk to her anymore. That he couldn't hear her anymore. That he couldn't hold her anymore. That he couldn't kiss her anymore.

     »If you keep cleaning the area, you'll soon be able to get through the wood with the mop.«

     It was Beidou. Kazuha didn't have to look up to notice. He had been traveling with The Crux for six months now. He knew all of the voices. And slowly he began to confide in them a little.

     At the beginning he hadn't told them that he had escaped from Inazuma and was wanted there. He hadn't told them about Tomo or Kimiko either. But after a few weeks he loosened up. Beidou now knew who he was. But didn't ask unnecessary questions what he appreciated about her.

     He hadn't said too much about Tomo. It just hurt too much to talk about him. And about Kimiko, well, there was one night when they all drank together and she was the number one topic. He had been drunk and had told every little thing, but he had never mentioned her name. Like it was his little secret.

     »Where were your thoughts again?«

     Kazuha put the mop in the bucket full of water. It wasn't his job to clean. But Beidou and her crew had taken him in. So he didn't want to do nothing. He wanted to help them. And sometimes that includes cleaning.

»By your lovely lady?«

He still blushed when he or anyone else talked about her. And he hadn't managed to suppress his nervous smile either.

Beidou laughed amused. She patted his shoulder. »I didn't want to embarrass you.«

»When do we arrive?«

»Oh we're already there.« She pointed to the open sea and in the distance Kazuha could already see the harbour of Liyue. It was always impressive.

»I have a few things to discuss with Ningguang. Can you help me accept the new goods we are bringing back to Inazuma?«

The port of Inazuma was the only thing Kazuha saw from time to time of his homeland. He stayed on the ship when Beidou gave the goods to Thoma so that he could distribute them secretly later. Most of the time, Kazuha wasn't there at all. He occasionally left the ship to wander the landscape of Teyvat all alone.

He had also never been there when Beidou picked up the goods in Liyue. He usually got on the ship when Beidou was on her way to an assignment. So he could help her. Transporting the goods back and forth between Liyue and Inazuma was too dangerous for him. After all, he was Inazuma's most wanted man.

This time he was only there because they were coming from their last assignments and Kazuha was too tired to hike alone.

»Of course.«

     It only took twenty minutes until they docked at the harbor and the ramp was lowered so they could go ashore. Beidou went forward and as soon as she entered Liyue she spread her arms.

     »Always nice to see you again, little one!«

     Kazuha couldn't see who she was hugging halfheartedly. Beidou was much taller than the person in her arms. But the Captain must like that person. She didn't hug many people. 

     »What do you have for me today?«

     »Uh! A lot Jueyun Chili, Silk Flowers for new beautiful Kimonos, a few Matsutake, Rice, Tomatos.«

     Kazuha thought his heart would stop. It was her voice. He wasn't wrong. He couldn't be wrong. He would recognize this voice among thousands. He ran down the ramp more frantically than ever before and stopped abruptly next to Beidou.

     »And of course so much fish that my whole house smells like it«, She added, looking up from her list.

     She looked lovely. Really. Her long hair lay loosely over her shoulders, her bangs slowly moving back and forth in the wind. Her lips were light pink and her big eyes were sososo brightly beautiful. Her skin was flawless and her cheeks a little red, maybe from carrying boxes.

     She was wearing a kimono similar to the one she wore in Inazuma. The colors were the same. Some pink, orange, gold, red and white. The pattern was a little different. This time there were no flowers but small leaves. Maple leaves that made Kazuha smile. This kimono also had short legs and long, beautiful sleeves that fluttered in the wind. She was wearing high stockings that reached past her knees and sparkled in the sun.

But what he liked most was that she carried her vision. She had never been able to do that in Inazuma and he was pleased that she no longer had to hide it.

     »Sounds great!«, Said Beidou and then she noticed him. Her pink eyes widened and she abruptly dropped the clipboard.

     She didn't hesitate for a second. She pushed Beidou aside and ran into Kazuha's arms. He had dreamed of their reunions so often. He had often imagined scenarios of what she would do if she saw him again. And to be honest, she had never shown so much joy in his dreams. His imagination wasn't nearly enough for that.

     He put his arms around her and hugged her closely. He could not believe it. She had been in Liyue the whole time. She hadn't been that far away from him the whole time.

     Kimiko buried her face in his right shoulder. She had her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, as if she was afraid he would leave again. Oh he would never leave again. There was no way he was waiting another six months to see her again.

»You not hurt, are you?«, She broke the silence and put some distance between them, cupped his face with both of her hands. Kimiko stroked his cheeks with her thumbs and looked closely at his face.

»What is that?« She sounded surprised and worried at the same time. She ran her thumb over the small scratch on his temple. And then she pressed a kiss to the small scar.

Kazuha felt his cheeks color. Feeling her lips on his skin again released a lot of feelings. He felt very dim. In a good way. And for those minutes he didn't care that hundreds of people could see them. Or that Beidou watched them confused but also with a slight smile.

»I know your perfect face, it wasn't there before!«, She said and even though there were no scars on his left temple, forehead, chin, jaw, cheek and nose, she pressed gentle kisses there too.

Kazuha laughed lightly. »I'm fine!«, He said amused, which didn't mean he had a problem with her kissing his face. She could carry on like this forever.

Kimiko tilted her head to the side and looked at him with concern. »Are you sure?« Honestly no. So much had happened to him, he had been through so much, he couldn't be okay. But right now he was doing very well. He had her back and he still had time to tell her what he had experienced. He didn't want to burden her the moment they met again.

So he smiled, it was a genuine smile. Kazuha removed her right hand from his cheek and kissed the back of her hand gently. He noticed her slight twitch and the lifting of the corners of her mouth. He liked that he still had such an effect on her. »I'm sure.«

Then he hugged her again. And Kimiko didn't hesitate to put her arms around him again. It was so comfortable and Kazuha felt like just by her touch she could heal his pain. All he needed to be happy was her.

»I'm so sorry, Kazuha«, She whispered and he got his familiar goosebumps at the sound of his name. »I didn't want to lie to you and I didn't want to leave you.«

He knew that. She didn't have to say that. But it was still nice to hear it. To hear how sincere she was. But he didn't like the sadness in her voice. He didn't want her to be sad.

Kazuha stroked her long hair and their embrace became even tighter. He placed a kiss on her head. »You don't have to apologize.«

She lifted her head and came into his view. Her eyes were filled with tears and a little drop streamed down her right cheek. But she still smiled softly. »I missed you soft voice.«

He wanted to say how much he missed her. How he always thought about her no matter where he had been, no matter how much time had passed, but when Beidou cleared her throat, Kimiko jumped in fright and turned to her.

»You! You drunken pirate! When I was talking about the adorable boy with the red eyes, the soft voice and the gentle smile. It never occurred to you that he was the boy?«

She had talked about him? Damn that made his heart beat faster. Really fast.

»I mean how many guys do you know with such a sweet face! It was obviously that I was talking about Kazuhas lovely face!«

Kimiko turned to him and pointed at his flushed face. She immediately grinned at him. Oh, so she still liked making him blush. But not him! He couldn't handle her saying such wonderful things about him.

»Well now that I think about it.« Beidou started laughing.

»I could have seen my sweetheart again much sooner!«

My Sweetheart. Yes, Kazuha was pretty sure he was bright red. As red as the tomatoes in the box.

»Look at it positively.« Beidou said amused. »He scribbled long romantic, really lovely sentences all about you in his notebook every day, all of which you can read now.«

Her lips formed a smile and she looked at him again. »So you stayed that cute, hu?«

     Kaedehara Kazuha felt like his heart would burst.

     The grasses on the high mountains blowing in the wind, and the neverending sky spread out across his view. pinks and purples illuminated the dusk and the dawn, the rise and fall of the sun — and she. She, she, she.

     Always she.

     There was something so preciously poetic about love. Kazuha had the ability to create his own flowery haikus about such a concept based solely on other people's stories, but he had never found a reason for it until he met her. Where was the truth and beauty in the song of a land you don't know and have never longed for? Kazuha had never longed for the kind of love the poets spoke of before he met her - at least not really. Loving her was slow and sweet and painful and everything Kazuha never knew he wanted.

     And stars, he would give up everything just to fall in love with her again — and again. Again, again, again.

     He now understood the poets. How his heart skipped a beat as the blood seemed to pound in his veins. She was the love he never imagined; the light at the end of the tunnel, the first hint of spring after a winter of harsh and cold snowstorms. His fairy tale, the only one whom he could talked to about the shade of a cloud or the song of a thought.

     When he visited the outskirts of Fontaine with Beidou and the rest of the Crux's crew, the large sunflowers had smiled at him in a way that reminded him of her own smile, the kind of smile that kissed his skin like the rays of the sun, as he dozed off on a warm rock.

     This love is real, Kazuha concluded. This is the love that poets spoke of.

     He decided that this was all he needed to know about love. Standing opposite her, far away from the rest of the world. Inches apart, their noses touching as she moved even closer. She tilted her head curiously because he was staring at her so lovingly. Kazuha spoke his next words without hesitation.

     »Do you love me?«

     She blinked, startled by the sudden question... and then she smiled at him. And Kazuha thought he was an idiot for ever harboring an ounce of doubt as her lips pressed against his, tasting the love and life he wants to keep close to his heart for the rest of his days.

Damn he missed her lips. How they felt. The way they moved on his.

     »I do«, she whisper against his lips, enough confession to make Kazuha's heart flutter.

     And Kazuha was selfish. He was many things, especially since he met her; But she had made him selfish in the most ecstatic sense of the word, so he chased after the most ecstatic sense of the word. So he chased after her touch and her lips, whispering, almost begging.

     »Tell me again.«

     After all, it was nothing compared to hearing it from her lips, weaving poetry from all the words that explained even a little: Oh, how much he loved her.