Do you dream? About them?

I do

I dream a lot. But, they're never good ones

They're always the same thing:

You

You hurting me
Beating me
Raping
Taseing
Abusing
Screaming
Stabbing
Shooting
Slashing
Bruising

Killing

It's all the time

It never stops

Why?

Why did this happen?

Why did you fool me?

Why did you have to be one of them?

I gave you my first kiss

My first relationship

My first moan

My virginity

It's still implanted in my brain, you know

My screams when you rammed into me

Our moans filling your lonely apartment

The vibrator on level 2, just so you wouldn't hurt me

The handcuffs I put on you when I gave you a blowjob

Your scream when you came into my mouth and into me

The salty yet sweet taste of your cum

Then it all ended

Just like that

I don't get it

That day we had such a pleasant time, then you got me pregnant

And everything changed

When I was at six months, you shoved me down the stairs

And killed our son

It was never the same

You drank

Did drugs

Cheated

Abused

You did it all

You were my first friend ever. And my only friend too

I miss you

The old you

Who would hold me close and kiss my hair just because

Who would cuddle with me on my period

It never was the same

It never has been the same

It never will be the same

Ever since, my parents have hit me

I'm a mistake to this world

I should have never been born

Was all they said

And it's true

It's because of you

You did this

You ruined me with one word

Love

It's a strong word

A word I promised myself I would be careful with

I was

Until I found you

I think I hit the point in life where,
I'm just done.

I cried,
I fought,
I tried,

But everything is crashing down.

My demons are screaming louder, trying to eat away the rest of me.

And this time,
I'm not going to fight back.

Goodbye