Pain rolls over me, crippling my body and flooding my mind. I am stuck, unable to reach out or call for help. I can feel the bright light on me, peeking at me through my closed eyelids but I am unable to really see. So much noise, chaos engulfing me, but am unable to focus on a single sound.

  Why is this happening to me? I shouldn't be like this! That person, that man, should be stuck in this hell, not me!

  I struggle to breathe, but every languid breath feels like poison in my lungs. Feels like everything is giving up on me. My mind slows, hardly able to focus on even my thoughts anymore.

  I curse him! I will never forgive what he has done, I hope he burns for this.

  So cold, everything feels cold and bare. I'm weak, no longer able to hold on. I begin to fade, nothing but hate and resentment in my heart and mind as I take my last breath.

  Silence at last, I welcome it as I let go of all that I was. Darkness that is never ending, taking away all of my pain. Nothingness, I am no more, lost in an oblivion.

  A pulse ripples through me, igniting my soul once more. My mind opens, euphoria washes over me as I am taken into the universe, connecting to all that is and ever was. My hundreds of lives crashing back into me all at once, reuniting me with my selves.

  I remember being a baby bird, long before the time that is now. I recall watching as my mother flew high above us, the sun glinting off her beautiful black feathers. I still can feel the yearning to join her in the air, to feel the freedom for myself. The urge so strong that I couldn't wait, and I paid dearly for my rashness. The terror, as my useless wings flailed around my tiny body, not strong enough to catch the wind. I never did get my chance to fly.

  I learned from my mistake however. I needed patience as I sprouted from my seed, taking weeks to spread my roots and even to breach the surface of our earth. Years passed for me to grow tall and strong. How I loved to stand guard over my land, protecting young ones beneath my branches. Taking joy in the chatter of the animals that lived within me. New baby birds finding shelter in my leaves until it was their time to take to the sky, finding their own place to nest.

  Many lifetimes I watched over those who needed me, giving all to the ones who took comfort in my shade. Over the years however, I grew tired and sad. Those who depended on me would pass on too quickly, or leave me behind forgotten. Again I began to feel anxious, yearning for the companionship that others around me had found.

  So lonely was I that I did not even fear the men who entered my land. My leaves didn't tremble, rather I stood tall and proud, welcoming their company. It was not until the first bite of their blades that I realized the danger I was in. Nothing could be done, so again I offered all I had to those in need.

  My loyalty was not lost from there, only carried on with me as I experienced another side of man. My tall strong body traded in for a tiny weak thing that was covered in fur. At least I was able to find companionship that I so desperately craved. I spent my days following my man, my master, and learning from him. He cared for me, and played with me, and at last I felt loved.

  I hold that love tightly to me, as well as all the other lessons learned as I drifted through the world. Many experiences, different lives, all converging together to teach me how to be better. How to be complete. Even my last life, the life that echoes the loudest around me, has a lesson for me to take from.

  I allow my self to drift, to merge with all that is. My energy mingling with those of the living, taking in the effects of my life. Already I feel the pull of my new beginning calling to me, but I have a little time.

  I watch as the doctor, the man who worked hours on me, hunches over in a locker room. He quivers, fatigue and emotion draining him of all his strength. He tried all he could, I wish for him to find peace with my death. I recognize his soul, and cannot help but feel a happiness for how far he has come from the snail I last saw him as.

  I drift to my family, the loved ones who blessed me with many happy years. My children, trembling with tears, cling to each other for support. My oldest, an old soul that I have crossed paths with many times, holds her younger brothers to her. I know they will be alright, they are strong and will have each other to depend on. This will be an experience that furthers their enlightenment.

  Although I wish to linger there, to let my energy comfort their grieving souls, I feel myself being pulled further along. My control over my consciousness begins to waver, my connection to the world weakening. My time for renewal is nearing, but there is more I yearn to see.

  My essence floats through the bright halls of the hospital, oddly enough being puled in the direction I wish to go. Finally, I am able to take in the young man I have been searching for. The man, who in his hurry, drove me off the road. The man who in my last moments I hated so much.

  I can not help but wonder if he has thought about me since our near collision. If he feels guilt at what has become of my body. Does he even know?

  A faint tremor of hate courses through my being, still clinging to my most recent death. What was so important that he had to run that red light, not to even glance in my direction as I swerved off the road to avoid hitting him. What could have been so pressing that he could not even stop to check if I was alright?

  He is young, in body and soul, still needing to experience much in this would. I watch him with curiosity as he paces in the hall, cringing at the screams that call out to him. He glances around, as if searching for a way to escape, his sandy blond hair bouncing around his chiseled face. A nervous sweat breaking out over his tanned skin, dripping into his sapphire eyes. Too distracted, he does not even wipe it away, only murmurs words of encouragement to himself. With a final breath for bravery he pushes through the door, running to the screaming woman.

  Her body arches as she tries to breathe through the agony. Her dark skin glistening with sweat, her whole body trembling with exhaustion even as she is forced to continue. She clings to the man, her mahogany eyes turning to him wild with terror. More screams rip from her as pain wrenches through her body, tearing her in half.

  I watch the young woman with sympathy, wishing to be able to bring her comfort. I have experienced the pain of becoming a mother many times through my lives, and although wonderful, it is always painful. I wish to reach out to her, to merge my energy with hers, but am pulled back with a violent tug.

  My time is quickly nearing, my memories already fading as I my soul readies for rebirth. I cling to my past, as I do every time, desperate to hold on to all those I have loved. Love, the greatest lesson I have ever experienced and am constantly still learning.

  Understanding calms the fading flames of rage that were already dying out. Love, yes that was this man's reasoning. That must have been why he did not spare a glance. He was blinded to all around him because of his love and panic for this woman, his wife. I grasp at the image of them embracing even as her screams continue.

  I no longer wish any ill will on this man. I wish I could have forgiven him while I still had the chance. I wish I could have embraced the love in my final minutes rather than resentment that clouded my mind.

  Forgiveness. I must learn forgiveness.

  The final thought echoes in my mind, imprinting itself on my very being as my essence is pulled into the darkness of the in-between. My soul unites with the beating heart of my new life.

  Tight, everything is tight and restricting. Panic surges through my body, but I am unable to move. Stuck, I am unable to reach out, and all too quickly I am forgetting the words needed to ask for help.

  With a final push I am thrown into light, engulfing my body and blinding me. Noise, so much noise welcomes me back into the world, but already I have forgotten how to process it. Breath rushes into my lungs, waking up all my senses and giving me the strength I need to cry. I wail as the unfamiliar surroundings blur in front of my eyes.

  Comfort, finally as I am placed into the arms of a familiar woman. I grasp at the fading memories, trying to place her, but it is too late. I can no longer recall who I was in the past, and do not yet know who I am now.

  The woman, my mother, whispers words to me I am unable to understand. Her beautiful dark eyes watch me as she cuddles me close to her. Bright blue eyes peer down at me with awe from above her head. They do not look away from me, even as my own eyes drift closed with exhaustion. They both reach out to me, gently running their fingers along my cheek, filling me with love.