"Good job to everyone on Friday's game," Namjoon said to start off practice. The whistle around his neck looked just as natural as the glasses perched on his nose at this point; seeing him without it would be strange. "We had our first win, which is great. Congratulations on that."

"Every time you say 'first win,' you sound surprised," Hoseok pointed out sourly. "Did you really have that little faith in us?"

"It's not a matter of faith but rather of mathematical prediction," Namjoon corrected, ignoring the subsequent groans from the team. "Based on the criteria required for my prediction, namely the fact that we lost every prior game and routinely spend most of our practices arguing rather than practicing, I made the calculation that a win was unlikely. So, yes, I was surprised, but it was simply because the math instructed my surprise."

"You ever wish you could control Z a question?" Hoseok muttered under his breath.

"If, by control Z, you're indicating that you wish you could undo the asking of a particular question-"

"RHETORICAL. It was a rhetorical question, no need to answer, thank you," Hoseok cut off, and Jin smiled apologetically on behalf of the student council president.

"Namjoon? I think we all get what you were trying to say," Jin said, his first line in five chapters. It turns out that the author isn't much better than BigHit. "Should we start practice?"

"There's one other thing we need to discuss first," Namjoon said, clearing his throat. "Jungkook? You wanted to talk to the team about something?"

Of course Namjoon knew very damn well what Jungkook needed to say, and of course he wouldn't go out of his way to make it any easier. Eyes shifted to Jungkook as he got to his feet, feeling weirdly unsteady out of his wheelchair as he took several steps on the gym floor and turned so his back was to the bench and he was facing the team.

"I've had a really great time playing with all of you," Jungkook began, to which Hoseok immediately shrieked, "YOU'RE QUITTING?!"

"I'm not- no, when did I say- would you just listen," Jungkook said, glaring at Hoseok before realizing that Hoseok would be glaring at him in a few seconds. He relaxed his gaze.

"Why are you quitting?" Jimin piped up, eyebrows skewed, and Jungkook nearly glared at him too.

"I'm not quitting the team," he said in as clear a voice as he could. "Unless you guys want me to."

"Was that an option?" Yoongi asked, looking over at Namjoon.

"Hey!" Jungkook said, ignoring Yoongi's smirk as he took a deep breath and tried to meet their eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to in a few moments. "I never told you guys why I was picked for the team."

"Definitely not for talent," Yoongi muttered to Hoseok, the two of them snickering, and Jungkook just steeled himself. He'd take the jokes; they were better than the cold reception Namjoon had given him the other day.

"Over winter break, when school was still off, I was driving late at night," Jungkook said, deciding to just jump into the story. He'd rehearsed going about this a dozen different ways, but in the end, he felt that just telling it directly would be better than trying to make excuses or circumvent anything. "I was texting my friends from my old school," he said, not wanting to leave out any incriminating details. The accident was his fault, absolutely. He wasn't going to let himself or anyone else forget that.

He could tell by their silence that they were surprised and listening seriously now.

"I hit another car," Jungkook said, swallowing as headlights flashed in his memory. "And I was fine. But the boy in the other car ended up paralyzed from the waist down." He couldn't quite meet their eyes anymore, but he'd expected as much. Still, he continued on, eyes tracing the linear patterns in the gym floor. "The judge offered me a sentencing option of joining this program in exchange for waiving the fine. So that's why I'm here. And I'm sorry..." Jungkook closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath. Opened them. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier. I just..." Liked the feeling of having friends again, of belonging to something, of feeling good about myself.

"This other boy," Jimin said, his voice quieter than before, and Jungkook could tell that he was carefully considering Jungkook's words. "He was fine before? And now he's a paraplegic?"

Jungkook nodded. "He could walk and run and dance-" He flinched as he felt Hoseok's eyes bore into him. "-as well as anybody, before the accident. The accident that I caused," Jungkook corrected, shrinking into himself when all Jimin did was nod and look away.

"It's permanent?" Jin asked, sounding curious and concerned more than anything. "His injury, I mean?"

"That's what they told me," Jungkook confirmed with a nod. "So I robbed him of his legs for the rest of his life. He could live to be a hundred. I may have robbed him of eighty years of happiness."

"We cripples can still be happy," Hoseok said with a tight smile, and Jungkook paled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate-"

"So, you shoot some hoops with us, and you get off scot free? That was the deal?" Hoseok asked to clarify, and Jungkook froze at the sudden coldness in his tone.

"I- ...yeah, I guess I do," Jungkook said, meeting Hoseok's eyes despite the strong urge to stare at his own shoes.

Hoseok didn't blink or look away, and when Namjoon spoke, Jungkook looked over, grateful for an excuse to look elsewhere.

"I brought Jungkook onto the team knowing all of this, and I signed off on his court order Friday, which means that he no longer needs to participate in this program to complete his sentencing. This raises the obvious question: should Jungkook be allowed to continue, should he desire to?"

The team was quiet, but it felt loud to Jungkook because he could hear the vast emptiness of all the words unspoken. That he was a horrible person, that he'd used their program for his own benefit, that he'd lied or at the very least omitted. And he couldn't really argue with them, not just because the words had never been vocalized, but because he didn't disagree with them.

"We won't be able to play with only four people," Jin pointed out quietly, sticking to the logical angle to avoid unpacking the ethical mess Jungkook had presented to them.

"Jin is right," Jimin said, and Jungkook wasn't sure if Jimin was saying it in support of him or Jin. Maybe Jimin was just going along with it because he and Jin were buddies. But wasn't there the possibility that maybe Jimin didn't hate him for what he'd done? Was it wrong for Jungkook to hope that this was the rare reality in which that was true? "We still have three more games. I'd like to win more games than we lose."

"That's two in favor in addition to my vote for Jungkook to stay on," Namjoon said. "That's a majority, but Hoseok? Yoongi? Do either of you have anything you want to add?"

Both were silent.

"All right," Namjoon said, turning back to Jungkook. "You're welcome to continue on with the team. If you decide that you're not interested, I would appreciate if you could send another student in your place so that our team will still be able to compete." He paused, seeming to take in the hostility in the air only now and realize that maybe Jungkook wasn't interested in the offer. "Will you be returning?"

"I..." Jungkook's eyes were stuck on Hoseok, who refused to look at him. "I'll think about it," he answered meekly, looking down. He'd been set on continuing to play just this morning, but he wasn't so sure anymore. It wasn't that he minded Hoseok's anger toward him; he deserved that. But he didn't want to cause Hoseok discomfort. Maybe it would be better if he stayed home.

"All right," Namjoon said, slightly disconcerted but understanding that it was the best Jungkook could offer at the moment. "Well, I had already planned on giving us the day off as a reward for Friday's game, so why don't we all head out early, do some thinking, and come back tomorrow ready to play hard." He looked over at Jungkook as though thinking of taking back the last phrase in case Jungkook didn't want to come back, but Jungkook looked away.

He waited for everyone to head out of the gym before slinging his bag over one shoulder and pushing through the gym doors, nearly bumping into Yoongi. "Oh, sorry," he mumbled, taking a step away to give Yoongi some distance.

"It's fine," Yoongi said with a shrug, turning and walking toward the school doors. Jungkook followed because there was no closer exit; once he got outside, he could head for the bus stop and get all this basketball nonsense out of his head.

But when they passed through the final doors and he started turning to the right, Yoongi looked over, brow furrowed.

"Where are you going?" Yoongi asked, looking to the right and finding nothing of interest. "My car's over there," he said, pointing to its usual spot over to the left.

"The bus," Jungkook said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I just figured..."

"C'mon," Yoongi said, walking toward his car, and Jungkook felt he didn't really have another option but to follow him and get in. Yoongi started the car like normal, adjusted the AC, and turned the radio up just enough so they could make out the lyrics.

"Why are you driving me home?" Jungkook asked, confused and sort of hurt even though he'd expected to feel that way. But Yoongi hadn't said anything in there so of course he hated Jungkook now, didn't he? In fact, had he ever not hated Jungkook?

"Because you don't have the best driving record," Yoongi said dryly as he left the school parking lot.

"No, not- not why are you driving me, I mean- why? Why are you doing this at all?"

"Jungkook, I didn't drive you home after practice every day because I thought you were a nice person with a warm heart," Yoongi said with a roll of his eyes as they accelerated down the street. "I drove you home because I saw that you were a hard worker, and I appreciated that."

"So? I hit a kid with my car."

"That kid could've been a bitch, you don't know."

Jungkook gawked at Yoongi, who just looked over with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Yoongi had the nerve to look affronted. "Look, Jungkook, yeah, you hit someone with your car, but we all make mistakes."

"People say 'We all make mistakes' when they're talking about turning in an essay with a typo or forgetting to tie your shoelace or dropping your keys in a sewer grate. Paralyzing someone for the rest of their life doesn't exactly fall under that umbrella."

"Why not?" Yoongi asked lazily.

"What do you mean why not?"

"Well, did you mean to hit him?"

"No! Of course not! But-"

"So, it was a mistake. End of story." Yoongi spared a look over at Jungkook, who was staring at him with wide eyes as though he couldn't process a single word out of Yoongi's mouth. "A big mistake, yeah, but still just a mistake."

"Is that what I'm supposed to tell this kid?" Jungkook asked, huffing in astonishment. "Sorry, my bad."

"I say, go for it."

"Yoongi!"

"What?" Yoongi asked yet again, starting to sound annoyed. "I'm not your priest or minister or whatever. If you feel so bad about it, pull your Rosary beads out of your ass and start singing some Hail Marys or whatever." When Jungkook was quiet, Yoongi tsk'd in annoyance. "Do you want me to be mad at you?"

"I don't know, kind of, I guess. It's weird that you aren't."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one you hit with a car."

"Thank you for pointing that out. Again."

"Any time." Yoongi pulled into the driveway and switched the gear to park. "Tell your mom hi for me. And that I'm still available, if she's interested."

"Ew," Jungkook said, climbing out of the car rather fast and clutching his backpack to his chest.

Yoongi just smirked at him, and as Jungkook turned to go inside, he heard the soft whir of the window being rolled down.

"See you at practice tomorrow," Yoongi said as he drove down the street. Jungkook turned to watch him, feeling his heart grow taut at Yoongi's quiet acceptance.

"See you tomorrow," Jungkook replied to the empty air.

He just hoped he'd be brave enough to go.

--updated 08/19/20 (mm/dd/yy)--