Prolouge

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Ugh! Who created these stupid alarm cloc-

Wait! I don't own one. She is going to die!

"Shut up jazzy." I yelled but my voice came muffled and low because my head is still buried in my pillow, proving my laziness.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Jasmine, I swear I will kill you if you didn't stop that stupid clock." I yelled, this time my head is out and voice is clear now.

Finally this time Jazzy gets quiet. Maybe because I don't call my sister by her full name. Or maybe she knows how much I adore my sleep and what I can do to get it.

"I am just waking you up." Jazzy stated in a childish tone and even though my eyes are closed I can imagine her pouting.

Years of experience.

"Thanks Jazzy. I will be down in 20." I said trying to open my eyes and my sleep deprived face forming a small, barley noticeable smile at her willingness to help a poor case as me.

"Fine! But if you do not report down in 20 I swear I will kill you." She said in a mocking tone and left my room with a loud bam.

My poor door.

But I love her. After my parents death she is my only blood left. My parents weren't poor but neither they were rich enough to supply us comfort our whole lives. I have to work at weekends or sometimes weekdays to fulfill our needs. Siblings of my parents live in other towns and states. Far away form us.

My sister and I live alone in the house passed to us by our parents. I loved my mother more, she was a short woman with short brown hair and big black dreamy eyes. My father had blue eyes and brown hair. My features are inherited from dad and my sis inherited her features form mum.

We both go to same high school and she is just one year younger than me. So we are always together, like best friends.

I got up and straight into the bathroom. I did my hygiene and went straight into the shower.

I two best friends, one is Renold, but he hates when someone calls him by his full name so he prefers to be called Ren. Other is Lily.

I know it is cliché but I am in LOVE with my best friend. No, not Lily, I'm talking about Ren. I have known him from kindergarten. Since my parents died in car accident, he, Jazzy and Lily are the only ones who supported me.

He is school's player. He loves to show off. He practically sleeps with every girl in our school. I still love him because he is nice to me. I sometimes dream about how my and his future house and family would be like, even though they end up as a nightmare.

And guess what? Today I am going to propose him. Girls don't propose to boys but I am different. What's wrong in making the first move? 99% of me says 'He won't like you. He's your best friend and thinks of you as lil' sis not as girlfriend.' but 1% says 'Why won't he like you? He likes spending time with you. Go on.'
And that 1% gives me hope.

I dressed up in my casual attire. Blue denims and white shirt with a Jean jacket and white converse.

I headed down where Jazzy is waiting for me to drive her to school.
Well, she loves school more than I do. She is nerd, more likely a famous nerd. She is trend setter but still manages to score in academics. I don't know how she does that?

We quickly finished our breakfast, which is buttered toast and coffee. Since we don't have parents or any other family to cook food for us, we usually eat something light or go out to eat.

I drove to school by her in passenger seat in our white Benz. It's another thing our parents left us beside our house. Yeah, they were enough rich to afford a Mercedes.

She continue to rant something about fashion.
And me being me, zones out.

She doesn't know that I am gonna propose him today. But she knows I like him. I can't hide it from her, she's my best friend. Should I tell her? Yes? What will be her reaction? No? How will she react when she will know about it? From some other person? Will she freak out? Will she help me? Should I even do it today?

"Hello? Earth to Isa. Who you thinking about? Ren?" She said teasingly, wiggling and eyebrows and I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Um, Jazzy?" I asked, still doubting; should I tell her or not.

"Yeah?" She replied, taking water bottle from her backpack and taking sips from it.

I know what I am going to say is going to be a mess, so I parked the car onto side. And slowly, very slowly, turned to her.

"Iamgonnaproposerentoday." I blurted out in hurry while my eyes are closed.

"Slow down, racer." She says chuckling, taking a sip from bottle.

"I am gonna propose ren today." I mumbled out and slowly open my eyes with each word.

"Really?!" She screamed, spitting out the water straight on to my face.

Well, maybe opening eyes wasn't a good decision. Or neither telling her NOW was.

"Thanks for support, Jazzy." I mocked wiping my face. She just smiled sheepishly and mumbled out a small sorry, to which I just nodded.

I sighed and started driving towards school. When we reached school, I parked in one of the free parking slots.

"Well best of luck then." She says and gets out of the car.

"I need it." I whispered in a sigh when she is out of hearing range.

I went out too and I am suddenly tackled in a hug. I was taken aback by this sudden outburst.

"Will you stop hugging me suddenly?" I asked as Ren broke our hug.

I missed his warmth but I am not gonna admit it. Not yet. Uh huh, not at all.

"Why? Don't you love my hugs?" He asks, tilting his head to side and pouting slightly but I know he is trying hold back his laugh.

Who wouldn't fall for him? His big chocolaty eyes with light brown hair and pink kissable lips and greek god body makes every girl around swoon over him. He looks so cute even when is just being normal. God, save me.

"Because your fans are mentally planning ways to rip my head off." I said, pointing towards a group of girls at some distance away from us but not in hearing range.

When he turned his head towards them they shouted. Enough loud to make all the students in parking lot turn towards. I mumbled out sorry and turned to face Ren.

"I don't care. I. Love. You. Only. " He says while poking my nose with each word and my cheeks started to heat up and I knew it soon would be of color same as a tomato, maybe more redder.

Why do I have to blush at such times? I know he is saying love in a friendly manner but it feels too realistic to not believe. Maybe he really loves me? He doesn't, you stupid. I can't help my thoughts. He is so handsome that who wouldn't fall?

"But I don't love you, Ren." I replied, hitting him lightly on his arm, giving out a nervous chuckle. Okay I do. But I won't admit it now.

"I know you do, babe." He says, with a wink and walks away, waving to his fans on his way and flirting with some them.

That's his problem. He behaves like he likes me and other second he just behaves like we are complete strangers. Sometimes like best friends and sometimes like siblings. Yeah, siblings!
He flirt's with me and with others too. Why is he giving me mixed signals?

After four most amazing classes of my life, note the sarcasm, finally it's break. The most awaited time of the day, when I am going to ask Ren out.

I, Ren, Lily and Jazzy sit on one table along with Daniel, Jazzy's boyfriend.

Even Jazzy has a boyfriend. I am the only single left on this world.

Jazzy is seated in front of me, Dan on her right and Ren on my left and Lily on his left.

It's not like I am jealous of Lily. She is too good to be jealous of. Her small but cute blue eyes paired with full natural pink lips. Her wavy dark brown, almost black laying down to her mid-back and her perfect body can even make greek gods fall on her feet.

She knows that I like Ren. Even Dan knows because Jazzy can't keep her mouth shut. Lily and Jazzy even made a ship name for me and Ren; Isare. Sometimes they yell 'Isare' in front of everyone, even Ren is there but no one understands it, luckily. I sometimes doubt that Ren knows but keeps shut. Maybe he doesn't.

"H-Hey Ren, c-can y-y-you come out with m-me for a s-se-second?" I stuttered. Why do I have to stutter? At this time? Hope he doesn't notice that. You will come, right?

"Uh, okay. Let's go." He says and pushes his food towards Dan who gladly accepts it.

I slowly followed him with my head down. And he, being him, shamelessly flirt's with girls on our way.

When we reached there, I forgot all the lines I practiced. My knees converted into non-edible jelly. My hands shaking like a earthquake. My head spinning around.

I ain't exaggerating. It's true.

"So?..." Ren tries to start a conversation.

Why is this conversation so odd? We used to talk without any problems, speaking our minds. But now? Everything is changed.

"So, there's a thing I have to tell you." I said lowly, looking down at my shoes.

"First look up to my eyes, Isa." He says.

When I don't follow him, he keeps his index finger below chin and lifts my face up to meet his eyes.

"Now say." He says and takes his finger back, using his hand to untangle his hair.

I closed my eyes and...

"Iloveyouren." I blurt out and slowly opened my eyes.

"You what? Please say it slowly." He asks confusion and amusement written all over his perfect face.

I take a deep breath and "I love you Ren." There! I said it!

And I looked down at my shoes and suddenly my plain white old converse seems interesting like million's of galaxies.

I am suddenly pulled into someone's hard chest. I lose my balance becuase of this sudden movement and trip over my own shoes.

I don't get good feelings about this. My mind stated.

Shut up! All's good. Why else would he hug you? My heart argued back.

As a sign of last goodbye? My mind suggested and my eyes started to fill with raw tears, threatening to escape and stain his shirt.

I take deep breath to have a control over my newly formed tears and hesitantly wrap my arms around his torso.

I felt a wet pair of lips on my hair, which lingers more than they should.

After they leave my head I move my head up slowly and hesitantly. My arms still around his body and his arms hung loosely around my neck.

I look up to his eyes for anything. But all he does stare at me.

"Say something, Ren." I whisper, my eyes once again filling with tears. I close my eyes trying to blink back them.

"I love you too, Isa." My eyes snap open and stare straight into his eyes.

"Why do I feel there's a but coming?" I thought to myself.

"But not in that way." He continues confirming my suspension and shattering my heart into million pieces.

"I love someone else, Isadora. Sorry." He whispered and with that he kisses my forehead once again and leaves.

I was waiting there like a stupid for him to jump out from one of the corners and yell 'Happy April fool's day, Isa. I love you too.' but he never came.

I honestly felt nothing. I felt numb. Like my body isn't moving or I even don't know that I am breathing or not. Or I am still living or dead? Or I am dreaming or not? It's like my soul is ripped of off my body and what's left is only a mess of muscles, bones and a few organs. Heart not included. No feelings. No emotions. Nothing. Nil.

His words still ringing through my head.

I love someone else.

Why didn't he tell me? I wouldn't have asked him out if I knew. I would have helped him. Since when does our friendship contains secrets?

I don't know how my whole day or my senior year passed. I was too numb to notice. But one thing I know is that I didn't talk or look at Ren. I ignored him, not intentionally but things between us were...awkward. I never fell in love with anyone or out of love with him. Never again.

It's true...

A single 'but' can break you or make you.