^^^^
"Your grandma on my dick, hit her with that yeet yeet"

So before I start, I will tell you why I named this story this. So, I'm a picky shopper and have anxiety (since I was ten with depression) and so I get overwhelmed and fustrated and hard to tell people things. So, we were at a store, trying to find fucking shoes to go with a dress on the holidays. I said my last 'no' to my mother and she like was d o n e. "CANT YOU TRY ON THESE SHOES, JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES?!" I said no to my mother. She bought them anyways right when I found a pair. I fucking hated them. Anyways, I wanted to talk about a storytime that made me laugh and I couldn't stop thinking about it (I just started Wattpad) and the memory popped up and I was like "Ehhh...maybe something else like 'storytimes' or so..."  The memory wouldn't go away or so and I knew I had to name it that. So, there's a fact.

Okay questions and I know that they were like funny joking ones but I tried to make it serious lmaaoooo

Do you like jazz?

*Laughs*musical wise? Yeah...I mean, not like on my one but I would be chill to listen to it. I really just like instruments in all really. But naturally I would listen to ASMR because of my past and present...just makes me feel like calmer and not on edge (not that jazz doesn't but..you know? It helps me better) So..yeah.

Why you so snazzy Jazzy?

Snazzy means stylish and attractive....I don't fuckin know because I'm neither of them. Like me in school you can notice that I'm WAAAYYY off on the stylish line and I'm like, the fucking baby of Shrek...like I can't name anything nice about myself honestly.

Where do babies come from?

Mommy, I got a question
Mommy, I wanna know
Where do babies come from?
Do they come from rainbows and love?
Mommy, mommy, tell me please, where do babies come from really?!
They come from boys who
Like to sit on their ass
They come from girls who
Want to grow up too fast
They come from screaming,
Fighting make up sex
They come from little girls
Like yourself
Daddy, where do little babies come From?
Daddy tells me they
Come from the sky
But never explains when I
Ask why
Do they come from angels
In love? or
Do they come from demons
In lust?
Daddy, daddy, tell me
Please
Where do babies come from
Really!?
They come from boys
Who take things they don't
Own
They come from girls who
Beg to left alone
They come from pleading,
Screaming "no, no,no!"
They are an accident from
So long ago
What a lovely little mess I've made
I throw milk at the wall in rage
Oh, I'm just trying to
Forget the pain
Mommy, daddy,
Tell me please,
Where do babies come from
Really ?
They come from boys
Who like to sit on their ass
They come from girls
Who want to grow up too fast
They come from screaming,
Fighting make up sex
They come from little girls
Like yourself
They come from boys who like
To take things they don't own
They come from girls who
Beg to be left alone
Pleading, screaming
"No, no, no!"
They are an accident from
So long ago
........

-Melanie Martinez

I relate....ouch.

Do you like memes?

*Looks at meme book* nope. Suuurrreeeely don't captain obvious lmao

Where did you come from,
Where did you go?
Where did you come from
Cotton eye Joe?

I came from my mother's vigina, but now I am on earth..the more ya know..also, Cotton Eye Joe was an actual person before the Civil War and yea...you can read up on it.

Do you like Pina colada?
Or getting stuck in the rain?

Story time how I met my love:

Well...I like Pina colada ices...and I like the rain. I mean, if you do that's great! Because I am tired of my man, we have been together for so long, you know? And it feels like a worn out recording of our favorite song...I mean while  was sleeping, I read the paper in bed. In the personal columns, there was this letter I have read, you know, out of boredom and insomnia and it stated "If you like Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain, if your not into yoga, if you have half a brain, if you like making out at midnight, in the dunes of the cape, then I'm the love that you looked for. Write to me and escape." So...like maybe that is you...? I have no clue. But...like I didn't think about my man, I know, I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old man had fell into that same old, dull routine... you know? So, I actually wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad. And though I'm not poet, I thought I wasn't half fucking bad. "Yes, I'm into Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain, I'm not much in health food, I am into ice cream. I got to meet you at tommorow noon, and cut through all this red tape. At this bar called O' Mally's, where we will plan our escape." Holy shit. I was so scared of like meeting them in person that I knew I would fucking love and my heart was bursting... anyways, so I waited with high fucking hopes, then he walked into the place...holy shit, I knew his smile in an instant, I knew the curve of his beauti-fucking-ful face. It was my own lovely man, and he said, "oh it's you!" We both laughed for a moment before I said, "I never knew that you like Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain! And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of ice cream! If you like making out at midnight in the dunes of the cape, you're the only man that I looked for, come with me and escape, or- or even just liking Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain, maybe not into yoga, if you have half a brain..." Like I felt like I had such a fucking hold back in my mind screaming "JAZMINE WHAT THE FUCK?!? THIS DUUDE SERIOUSLY IS GOING TO REJECT YOU!" I blabbed way to fucking much at that moment and I just freaked the fuck out on the inside... Anyways, let me finish lmao XD
So... that's how me and Ryan got together, it was crazy...really. He is super sweet and like laughed it off and said yeah. Of course, it was ackward and like..idjabxzk lmao XD He is such a sweet pain in my ass that I love *snorts*

Sike, I'm single and dead inside, but lav ya lmao

Who believed it? I would have ngl...

Are you living la vida Loca?

Si, estoy viviendo la vida Loca con las loca personas loca como yo lmao
XD

THERE YOU GO BUT BEFORE WE LEAVE, WHAT SONG REMINDS YOU OF ME? My mother gets reminded of me when she listens to 'Teenagers' or 'Just The Way You Are'...to me what I remind myself of is alot of shit XD uhhhmm maybe 'Oh Hannah' and ' Teen Idol' ( check my message board for oh Hannah and teen idol, in a few for teen idol) and yeah. I post songs that I remind myself to and relate. Like 'where do babies come from?' anyways, just wanna know that random ass question.