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shitpostin' 90

Marlissa: -was walking home a bit later then usual-

Jia: Sweety? Why are you home so late?

Malik: Something happen?

Marlissa: Nope. Just have to breal every bone on my now ex-boyfriends body while also crushing his testicles and any pride and or dignity he ever had for thinking it was smart to cheat on me with that prissy royal girl -noticed Mi-Lui was also there- Oh Hi grandpa what brings you here? ^^

Malik: -looks at his daughter in shock not expecting her to handled a break up like that- T-that's nice dear

Mi-Lui: -looks over at his granddaughter in both fear and a bit of pride- N-nice to see you are handeling well. Just came to visit

Jia: -sipping her drink with a smirk having taught her daughter how to deal with boys who would cheat on her thinking- 'That's my little girl'

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Malik: -was talking to the mercenaries that were recruited due to the old ones of the academy quitting-

Leader Mercenary: Well is there anything else we should know about the facility?

Malik: Everything you already need to know has been covered in the briefing

Griffith: -appearing out of no-where covered in fake blood as a joke- Hey Kids Wanna See A Dead Body!?!?

Mercenaries: -screaming in fear and surprise-

Malik: Stop screaming!

Secretary: Proffesor Malik I do apologize I tried to stop him from doing so but when I pleaded with him he said, mind my french

French mercenary: Some taken

Secretary: Fuck the police. He then proceeded to tilt every painting, picture and award while covering them a fake blood hand print, on the way here

Griffith: -chuckling maniacally at his actions-

Malik: -sighs- walking down the halls are going to give me such a headache now
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Malik: So Jia and I got into an arguement

Merlin: How bad. Like she isn't talking to you or?

Malik: no when she is just gets all ominous and dramatic. Watch. Jia?

Jia: -not looking up from her book- Yes?

Malik: I love you

Jia: you love the idea of me

Malik: -sighs in irritation-

Merlin: ouch
--------------------------

Malik: -On the phone- Heyyy Jia

Jia: Malik? Where are you?

Malik: Listen would you be mad if I said I stole 10 kg of ice cream at McDonald's? And now Griffith and I need you to come bail us out of holding?

Jia: ...Yes

Malik: Cool, thanks, love you bye. -hangs up before Jia could yell at him-

Griffith: what did she say

Malik: there is no possible way she is comming to bail us out

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Tags: #shitposting