28

H y e r i n

"That's why it's my fault—your brother died because of me! Do you understand now?! If it wasn't for him saving me that day, everything could have been prevented. He'd still be alive right now, Yoongi. So it's alright even if you hate me to death. Even if you—" I was cut off when Yoongi suddenly pulled me into a hug.

"I didn't know you were this stupid, Hyerin. Listen. It's not your fault those bastards just decided to bother you. It's not your fault my brother decided to help you. And most importantly, it's not your fault that he died, why? Because no one should take the blame of someone's death. Only God knows who the rightful sinner is and even though how much of a sinner you look—I know it ain't you. You're too dumb for that shit."

Some very nice words he has.

Somehow, between my sobs, I managed to stifle a laugh.

"Gomawo, really though Yoongi. I...I really needed that." I croaked out as I just continued crying on his chest.

"No problem, bitch. Let's end this drama now and just go home.I'm sleepy." He let out a yawn before pulling away.

"Yo I can't go home like this. People are gonna see my fucked up face after all the crying I did!" I panicked.

"Calm down, your face has always been fucked up so there's nothing new."

"Yoongi bitch ass." I mumbled.

"Do you always make ugly ass nicknames like this? Because shit you're so creative." He chuckled.

"Oh I've created the worst nickname I could ever come up with a long time ago." I suddenly said.

"Really, huh? What did you call me?"

"My first love."

••

"Sulhee, meet Chunyoung and Hoseok. This two fights like an old grumpy couple but I swear they can give the best hug you need when you're feeling so down."

"Bitch, I'm tearing up." Chunyoung mumbled, as she lay down a fresh set of flowers on the grave.

"Hi Sulhee! I'm your hope, I'm your angel! You were an angel too but I guess God really liked you that's why He sent you back first...Ah hold my bag, I'm gonna cry." Hoseok smiled sadly, tears now staining his cheeks.

"Okay but what made me cry more is the fact that Hyerin had a boyfriend before and for fucks sake that Daniel guy was so hot like how the fuck—" Chunyoung immediately yelped when I pulled her hair playfully. I remember their reaction when I showed them a picture of Daniel and I back then. They were so shook man.

"I didn't even know you guys hooked up together back then like I doubt Yoongi knew that too." Hoseok muttered. He's right. Daniel and I both agreed to keep our relationship secret inside the school so it won't affect our status in school. Sulhee, was the only one who knew about us and I think Jaehyun sunbae knew a bit of it too since I would always see him give Daniel that side-eye look whenever I watch them play basketball.

"Okay guys since I already told you my past, don't you think it's the right time to say whatever the hell you wanna say? Something you're trying hard to keep but at the same time been wanting to just let it all out? Let's say it now and get done with it, together." I smiled, the two tensed up a bit but then I heard Hoseok sigh so I let him speak.

"You guys must've noticed it but yeah, there's a lot going on with my life at the moment." He started. Chunyoung and I exchanged looks, noticing how Hoseok's expression change drastically. We're about to hear his side of story from what his sister told us before.

"Well things aren't really going great with my parents. They're on the brink of separation. I can feel it, I can fucking feel it's happening and it hurts. I didn't think I'd come up to this point where I'd have to choose one from those two. I don't know who to choose hell I don't even want to choose. I want them to stay together. I want us to stay together, is that too much to ask for?" He laughed bitterly, tears falling down endlessly. I gave a him a pat on his shoulder and he just smiled.

There he goes again. Smiling like everything's okay when it's fucking not. That smile that somewhat make things alright. That's what his smile is all about. And to be honest, his whole existence make things alright. You'd unconsciously smile for no reason when you see him, his contagious smile is really something. Something that you'd look forward on seeing to. That's Hoseok for you.

"You know, you're so strong. To be able to smile despite all the pain you're feeling. You...you really earned my respect for that, Hoseok. You strong sassy bitch." Chunyoung chuckled and ruffled Hoseok's hair.

"Just remember that we're always here for you, Hobi. You might be a bully back then but I believe in change. And I saw you change, you changed and became the best homie I could ever have in the whole world. So thank you, for being our sunshine." I laughed when he just cried harder while still having that beautiful smile of his.

"Group hug!!" Chunyoung beamed. We both hugged Hoseok tight as he just continued crying and laughed when we whispered comforting words to him.

"Seriously, telling me that I'm cute is an understatement. And correction : I'm not just cute I'm hella cute but I still appreciate it, Chunyoung." He winked and I saw Chunyoung flinch in disgust.

"Correction: I said you 'cute frog' how could you just not mention that frog part? And I'm just making you laugh but you made it seem like I just hit on you but boy that's never gonna happen, maybe a million years but no lol." Chunyoung said in a matter-of-fact, her hands placed on her hips like she's scolding a kid.

"I don't care, but the fact that you said I'm cute still remains. Because bitch I'm hella cute sorry I don't make the fucking rules here." Chunyoung only puffed her cheeks in annoyance and tried to mock his tone. Hoseok immediately pinched her nose in which he instantly received a punch from Chunyoung.

I chuckled at them both, somehow this scene reminded me of something extremely familiar.

Like I'm seeing Yoongi and I on this two.

I was stopped from my train of thoughts when Hoseok put his arms around our shoulder and we all sat down again on the grass.

"Thanks a lot for cheering me up. You girls are my hope, my angels! Saranghaeyooooo~" He said in such a cute manner that I couldn't help but laugh as he try to give us a kiss on the cheek in which resulted to him kissing the grass because Chunyoung kicked him.

"Well since you two already said whatever the hell you guys wanna say then I'll just take this opportunity and say this now too." Chunyoung inhaled. 

"One time, I accidentally drank the water from our fish bowl because I was hella thirsty and that was the nearest thing with water beside me so I went off lol." Hoseok immediately cracked up and he's now choking on the ground.

"Bitch don't tell me that was that time when you were absent and told me that you took Jessica out of the fish bowl because she's suffocating and shits like that—" I gasped. Chunyoung nodded, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Y-Yeah. The reason Jessica died was because I almost drank the entire fish bowl and I only came into my senses when I saw my fucking fish suffocating because she didn't have any water left because I fucking drank it like a thirsty bitch. I remember my mom throwing a fit when she saw what I did and I had to go to the hospital to get checked because I fucking drank water from the fish bowl like a thirsty bitch and you guys can laugh all you want because it's like the most embarrassing thing I've ever did."

"Wow." I stare at her in awe. I've received too much information at once that I feel like puking now.

"Bitch what does fish water even taste like?" Hoseok managed to say in between his laughs.

"Definitely doesn't taste like fiji water, I was disappointed to be honest." Chunyoung laughed too.

We three stayed for a while, just telling more stories in front of Sulhee's grave as if she was just in front of us, as if she was with us at that very moment. As if she's looking at us wearing her bright smile that's very similar to Hoseok's.

We all cried but we still laughed.

I think that all of us feel better, just having someone who understands.

••

"Holly, I'm home." I said when I opened the door. The smell of flowers instantly welcomed me.

And yes, Yoongi already gave me a spare key so that I won't freeze again outside while waiting for him to get home lol.

It's almost 6 in the evening, I think we really spent a lot of time at Sulhee's grave.

I smiled as I remember how we opened up to each other, though I hope Hoseok and his family will be better. He deserves to have that happiness.

I took off my shoes and put it on the shoe rack at the doorstep.

Where the fuck is Holly tho? He should be here trying to chew my shoes off by now.

I roamed around the house but found it empty.

I searched for a while before I started to get worried.

I immediately texted Yoongi and waited for his reply but this motherfucker is probably sleeping somewhere so of course he wouldn't give two shits to even bother checking my text so I messaged Hoseok and the others to inform him that his fucking dog is missing—though I hope Holly's just playing around somewhere and would come back soon but somehow, I have a bad feeling about this.

Without thinking twice, I rushed outside. The sky slowly turning dark won't help at all but I have to find Holly quick. Something doesn't feel right.

"Holly! Where are you?!" I started calling out his name while passing the streets.

I was searching for him in every corner when I stumbled upon the river.

This God-forsaken river. Chills immediately went down my spine.

The river where the bus accident occurred that caused Sulhee and everyone in the bus to die.

I put my palm on my head as I try to shake my thoughts away.

I have to find Holly.

I have to cross this fucking bridge. Fast.

I quickened my pace and tried to not look down the river but a certain brown fur caught my eye.

What the fuck is Holly doing down that river?! How did he even get there??

My heart started to beat hella fast. Holly was standing on some piece of wood and he's barely making it. The waves are still strong since it just rained just an hour ago. And that small cunt won't survive those rapids even if he could swim.

I need to act fast. Holly will fall in the water anytime soon now but I can't go to the water for heaven's sake!

I had developed this extreme fear of going to any bodies of water because of what happened to Sulhee. When her last breath was in a submerged bus.

Y'all know that moment when that bitch Jina tried to push me off the lake? I was scared shitless back then so I was really thankful Yoongi saved me back then.

 Ever since then, I haven't went to any rivers or even swim in the beach. I just can't .

But I think now's the right time to change that.

I have to get over this fear.

"MIC MIC BUNGEE!!" I screamed as I jump from the railings. I laughed internally, if anything that could've been my last words but I have no regrets.

The cold water immediately greeted me as I try to remember how to fucking swim again.

It took me a while to ascend from the waters so when I went up, I quickly gasped for air and when my vision cleared, I immediately went to Holly and pushed the plank until it neared the land.

"Holly don't fucking jump to me now or you won't get any beef jerky later, stay bitch!" I was almost drowning but I still had time to scold a dog.

I cheered in my head when Holly successfully landed on the surface.

But I have to worry about myself now.

I just noticed that I was barely making it and the waves just became stronger and I struggled real hard to get to the surface.

But I failed, my foot got caught up in between some rocks and it fucking hurt like a motherfucker.

Soon, my arms gave up as I slowly fall back into the dark and cold water.

Holly's bark became faint as I assume I was pretty deep in the waters now.

My vision started to become blurry as I thought of something.

Is this it? Am I gonna die?

Fucking finally. I laughed in my head.

We all wanted to die at some point and I've always wanted to die ever since Sulhee's death but now?

I want to live.

I still want to be with my thug parents.

I still want to eat poptarts and binge-watch kdramas and anime.

I still wanna fuck—no way I'm gonna die a virgin lol.

I still want to be with my friends. Yep, I only had Chunyoung as my friend after shit went off with my past but now?

I still want to be with Chunyoung and Bangtan.

They might be a group of bullies back then but they changed. I think it's safe to say I consider them as my friends now after all the times we spent together these past few months.

I still want to live to see more of their beautiful and everlasting friendship that I've grown to admire.

I still wanna fuck— oh I already mentioned this before lol I may be dying but I still have my priorities (;

"BITCH!"

Wow. Didn't know I'd want to hear his voice again that much. Even if it's calling me a bitch. Maybe bitch can be our always.

Anyways.

You're fucking late, Min Yoongi.

_

fucking triple update weebs, y'all deserved it lmao

and min yoongi saves the day again yoooo

#MinYoongiForPresident trend it bitches

next update would be on ma boy Yoongi's bday

nyeongan~