~Madly In Love~ (OT8)
Pairing: SKZ & Felix
Genre: Non-Idol AU
!!TW!! : mental disorders, obsession, possessiveness, hallucinations, delusions, implied murders, graphic gory details, murder, implied kidnapping
(requested by @MissFaye)
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"Hello, Chan—"
"Where were you?"
Felix held back a sigh. It was always the same with Bang Chan.
"We saw each other yesterday, Chan."
"That doesn't answer my question. I was your last one yesterday. Did you go home directly? Or did you go out with friends?" The older man narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Who did you go out with? Did you let any of them touch you? You know I hate when they touch you—"
"No one touched me, Chan. I didn't go out yesterday."
"If you're lying to me—"
"Have I ever lied to you, Chan?"
That seemed to assuage Chan's natural onslaught of paranoia, and the man mellowed out a bit, leaning back in his chair. Felix wrote some things down on his notepad, and Chan stayed silent for a bit.
"What did you write?"
"That you're a bit agitated this morning," answered Felix, honest.
Chan glared. "I'm not. You're the one acting weird. You're hiding something, aren't you? Did you start seeing someone behind my back? Just because I'm stuck here doesn't mean you get to act like a fucking slut—!"
"What I do in my free time is none of your business, Chan. Now, I'd appreciate if you could stop cursing me out—"
"Fuck you! I'm your boyfriend! Don't you fucking forget it!"
There would be no reasoning with Chan today, Felix realized. Writing a few more things down, he then rose to his feet, ready to take his leave. Noticing this, the man instantly stopped his mad rant, glaring again.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going? I didn't give you permission to leave!"
"I'll see you tomorrow, Chan. I hope you'll feel a little better then."
"Felix! Felix, damn it, come back here!!!"
But Felix simply left, ignoring the loud pounding of Chan's fist on the reinforced glass.
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"I missed you, Lixie~."
"Good morning, Minho. Did you sleep well?"
"Hmm. I dreamt of you, and it was wonderful~."
Felix repressed a shudder as Minho's dark, sharp eyes bored into him. It always unnerved him, how intensely the dark-haired man stared at him whenever they were in the same room. He also didn't like how Minho didn't seem to show any improvement, despite the heavy medication he was already being administered.
"Won't you let me hold you for a bit, Lixie?" he pleaded with a pout, opening his arms despite the glass separating them. "I want to touch you so bad~!"
"The last time I agreed to make physical contact with you, you tore out some of my hair," replied Felix, clicking his tongue at the memory.
"Mmm, I remember. You felt amazing in my arms~! And your hair smelled so good, I couldn't control myself. You're just so perfect, little Lixie~."
With a small sigh, Felix wrote down a few more notes. Hopefully, Minho's new prescription would help make a difference.
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"Please, don't leave..."
"I have to go, Changbin. I'm sorry, but it's all the time we had together today."
"Don't, please, don't," begged Changbin, already crying. "I need you, please, I need you Felix... You're the only one keeping the voices away, please, don't leave me...!"
Felix's throat felt a little tight as he opened the door. "I'll come back tomorrow, Changbin. Have a nice day."
"Felix, no! Please, Felix, don't leave me! Felix!!!"
Felix closed the door behind him with a shuddering breath, his heart swelling with pity for the man on the other side. Changbin only ever seemed truly at peace when Felix was around, but he wasn't Felix's only patient – and, most importantly, the dependance he'd seemingly developed over him wasn't doing any good for his already fragile mental state.
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The moment Felix entered Hyunjin's room, the long-haired man sprung to his feet with a delighted gasp... and promptly dropped to the floor in an old-fashioned bow, his back bent over so his forehead could touch the floor.
"Oh, blessing me with your presence again, I thank you for your grace and mercy—"
"Hyunjin, please, none of this today," sighed Felix, rubbing his temple.
But Hyunjin kept on mumbling senseless prayers and words of baseless gratefulness under his breath, not daring to lift his end until he was done with his spiel of mantra. His eyes were shining with unrestrained awe and delight as his gaze met Felix's.
"O dearest angel! Bestowing your humble servant with your purity once more! If I can be of any help to you today, I beg of you, let me know right away!"
"I don't need anything, thank you."
Unfortunately, today seemed to be a bad day for Hyunjin. Instead of gracefully accepting the rejection, his face crumbled, and tears filled his eyes.
"You have... no need for me...? No, of course not... I'm unworthy—UNWORTHY!" He dropped to his knees and started slamming his forehead on the floor – repetitively. "I'm a disgrace, scum of the Earth! How dare I look upon you! O, Lord, I beg for your forgiveness and mercy, for I have sinned—"
Felix promptly called for security, exiting the room the moment two nurses entered Hyunjin's side to restrain him. The last thing he saw as the door closed behind him was the blood now mixing with the man's tears, his eyes wide and unfocused as he begged to be forgiven for a sin he didn't commit.
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"You're back...!"
Felix couldn't help but shudder as he faced Jisung. The man was barely a day older than him, but he could be quite intimidating. He had a frail stature, and a somewhat shy demeanor, but he always seemed to bloom to life whenever Felix showed up.
"I- I made you something! A gift!" he stuttered out, scrambling to his feet to start and rummage through the dozens of papers scattered over the floor. "I hope- I hope you'll like it, I spent- I spent so much time working on it...!"
Felix braced himself for the worst – with reason, too. Barely a few seconds later, Jisung let out a triumphant shout and pulled out one paper. He rushed over to the glass and slammed the drawing against it with a strength that truly didn't fit his scrawny looks.
"Look, look...!"
Felix looked, and he deeply regretted looking. Jisung was an incredible artist, and he'd depicted in frightening details Felix's body tied and gagged to a bed with deep red lacerations and blossoming hues of purple and yellow on the skin feeling realistic enough to make him gag.
It became even worse when he noticed the brown mixed into it – definitely not ink.
"Do you like it!?" urged Jisung, eyes wide with childish hope. "It- it's you! You're so beautiful, don't you think? I had- I had to use my blood to get the shade right, but it'd be even better if I could use yours—!"
Feeling a little too sick, Felix bid him a quick goodbye before hastily making his retreat, ignoring the pleading calls of the deranged artist.
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"I'm telling you—"
"Seungmin, my answer is still no."
"We could do so much, Felix! All you have to do is help me get out, and then we could bring the entire city to its knees before us!"
"Us? That's new," mused Felix.
Maybe Seungmin was making progress—
"I've thought a lot about what you told me. And you were right! It's foolish of me to believe I could accomplish everything on my own – that's why I need you!"
—or not.
"Seungmin, I'm not letting you leave until you've gotten better," insisted Felix. "And you won't get better if you don't actually take your medication, instead of hiding it away."
"Oh? Is that why I haven't been receiving my pills lately?" Seungmin didn't appear angry – if anything, he looked delighted. "See? You're the only one smart enough to understand me, Felix! You get me! And together—!"
Felix tuned out the rest of his megalomanic rant, clicking his pen to make some notes about medication that would be injected, rather than pills.
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"Hi, Innie. How are you today?"
"Not- not good."
"That's alright. Why are you staying so far away?"
The younger man was huddled in a corner, on his bed, his knees pulled so tightly against his chest his knuckles were turning white.
"Because... because he wants to come out whenever you show up," murmured Innie, not even looking at him.
"Who, Yang?"
Innie shook his head in a negative gesture, and Felix's frown deepened slightly as he easily filled in the gap. He looked down to write some notes, then heard some scuffling and shuffling, which made him look up again.
He froze, his heart missing a beat when he found Innie now standing directly before him, with a mere wall of reinforced glass standing between them. The man's expression was blank, darkness swirling in his eyes, and Felix knew there and then that he was no longer talking to Innie.
"Hello, Jeongin," he greeted stiffly.
"I'll get you," Jeongin stated flatly. "Innie and Yang like you a lot. That means we have to keep you. Don't run when we come."
A shiver ran down Felix's spine, and he gulped, unable to tear his eyes away from the man before him. After a few seconds of intense staring, Jeongin's face scrunched up and his head rolled backward, then snapped right back into place. His previously expressionless face was now marred by unfocused eyes and slackened muscles.
"Lix!!! It's been so long, Innie's always hogging you!" His hand slammed into the glass, making Felix jump. "But it's okay, I'll get you alone eventually! Ah, ah, ah!"
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Felix was a young psychologist just making his debut in his field. He'd found employment in one of the more understaffed mental institutes where many criminals with psychological disorders or issues were kept – for their safety, and for that of other people. And, as soon as he started working there, he found himself having to deal with seven different patients on an almost daily basis.
Bang Chan was his first patient, and his oldest too. His ex-boyfriend had died in a freak accident and even though he didn't have anything to do with it, the guilt ate him away until his mind completely flipped over. What was once an overly kind and gentle person turned into a possessive, controlling, and highly paranoid man with anger issues.
He'd been brought to the institute after having a breakdown in a restaurant and throwing a table through the window, effectively injuring many people in the process. Felix became his doctor a few weeks after the incident and, for some reason, immediately became his focus, so to speak.
Chan had grown completely delusional. The moment they met, he decided that they were boyfriends – or sometimes he became even more confused and believed Felix had always been his boyfriend, and his previous one simply didn't exist. And, as much as Felix tried to explain to him that they weren't an item, Chan simply didn't take no for an answer, which obviously only made him even more difficult to deal with.
Lee Minho was his second patient. He was also older than Felix and had been charged numerous times for stalking people. Usually, however, they were phases, of a sort – he grew attracted to someone, followed them around and stole some of their stuff, and eventually stopped on his own if he wasn't caught first.
After one too many incidents, he was brought to the institute for a proper psychological evaluation, which Felix conducted – and, at the same time, became Minho's new source of obsession. He constantly flirted or made suggestive comments, tried to get close to Felix despite his restraints, and managed to rip out some of his hair once.
He was... also caught jerking off while moaning his name numerous times, which really didn't help Felix feel at ease – well, that and the fact that, contrarily to his previous episodes, his obsession with Felix didn't look like it was going away anytime soon.
Seo Changbin was one of the patients Felix pitied the most, in a sense. And, while he genuinely wanted to help all of them, Changbin had some sort of special place in his heart. He suffered from a pretty bad case of schizophrenia, which had gone untreated and thus unnoticed as a child, only to become truly problematic a few years after he became a legal adult.
He was constantly suffering from hallucinations, and the meds and treatments Felix prescribed didn't seem to work. Instead, Changbin latched onto him as some sort of anchor, claiming Felix was the only cure capable of quieting the voices in his head.
Which was bad, obviously. That kind of psychological dependance wasn't helping him at all, and Felix always felt terrible whenever his patient broke down in tears when came his time to leave.
Hwang Hyunjin was the unfortunate son of a couple of sect leaders. His brain was a bit messed up from the amount of drugs his mother had consumed while she was pregnant with him, and then his psychological growth had been stunted by the amount of fanatical spiel he'd been fed from birth to adulthood.
He was completely disconnected from reality. He grew up homeschooled and sheltered and was only ever taught the way of their God. As such, when a special raid took down the sect (which had started kidnapping and sacrificing people, a really nasty affair), Hyunjin had been found locked in his room and... well, he was basically mentally a child still, really.
He was brought to the institute so they could help him learn how to fit into society, but they were basically asking Felix to undo over twenty years of teachings, and that definitely wasn't going to work when Hyunjin somehow convinced himself that Felix was an angel sent from Heaven which he was meant to serve.
Han Jisung was the picture-perfect cliché of a depressed art student – except that he was also a bit of a psychopath, who ended up snapping and murdering three of his classmates. He was found painting with their blood after having built a sculpture from some of their body parts.
Previous bullies, he'd admitted upon arrest. Deserved what they go and ended up serving a greater purpose than they were worthy of.
Felix initially diagnosed him with severe anxiety, along with a bunch of other obvious issues such as his murderous tendencies. Unfortunately, Jisung had seemingly found in Felix a new muse, and used him as an inspiration for all of his new artwork – which only grew grimmer and more sickening ever time Felix made the mistake of looking.
Kim Seungmin was younger than him and suffered from a heavy case of narcissistic personality disorder, or more commonly known as megalomania. He was literally full of himself, possessed a worrying lack of empathy for anyone other than himself, and had eventually set a car on fire because it almost ran him over when he decided to cross on a green light – while the driver was still inside, too.
He was extremely manipulative, too. All of the doctors who'd previously dealt with him had been tricked by his acting skills and had ended up prescribing him all sorts of meds he didn't actually need – which he stacked, and then sold to other patients and even some members of the staff.
Only Felix hadn't been fooled by his tricks. And, once Seungmin realized Felix could see right through him, he'd been very upset at first – but then, with time, he'd started acknowledging Felix as the only other human on the planet worthy of his attention, which... Felix really didn't know if he should consider that a privilege, or a problem.
Finally, there was Yang Jeongin, the other patient Felix really took pity on. Jeongin was his youngest patient, younger than him by a year, and suffered from a great childhood trauma that completely messed with his mind, basically fragmenting it – he now had three split personalities constantly switching control of his body.
Innie was the youngest personality. He was the scared child, the shy one, the one who needed constant reassurance and care. He was basically Jeongin's mind still stuck in the events of the past, and unable to accept them or move on from them.
Then, there was Yang. He was the oldest personality, and the most unhinged – he was the one in control when Jeongin's anger became too great to handle, and he took great pleasure in taking it out on anyone who happened to pass by (hence why the boy was there in the first place, he'd bashed a guy's skull open with a rock because he'd accidentally bumped into him).
Finally, there was Jeongin himself – except Jeongin himself was aware of his other two personalities, and he didn't want them to leave. He took over whenever his emotions became too overwhelming to deal with, and he considered his other two personalities as friends – his only friends.
Well, them and Felix, too. Apparently, Felix was the only person Innie trusted, and the only person Yang didn't want to kill on sight, and so the only person Jeongin acknowledged – and, since he wanted to keep his friends happy, that meant keeping Felix around.
All in all... all seven of Felix's patients were thoroughly messed up. And, as much as he wanted to help all of them – some more than others, admittedly – it had now been a little over six months since he'd started seeing them, and not a single one of them showed any sign of progress.
If anything, Felix's presence only seemed to make them worse.
As such, it was with the hope that he was making the right decision that, at the end of the day, he handed in his transfer request to his boss.
"You want to be transferred to another institute? Why? Are the conditions unsatisfactory? If it's your pay—"
"It's the patients." He hadn't meant to admit it so bluntly, but there he was. "It's... I'm afraid I'm not helping them as I should, sir. My presence only agitates them further, and they don't respond well to the medication and treatments I assign them. And also... honestly, I don't feel entirely at ease with them, or safe for that matter." He heaved out a sigh, rubbing his temples. "I'm really sorry, sir, but I can't work here any longer. I thought I would be able to handle it if they at least showed some progress, but..."
His boss sighed, but nodded in agreement, taking the papers. "I understand. You're in luck – some higher-ups contacted us asking for a potential replacement in the institute two towns over. I'll send them your info right away."
"Thank you. I'm sorry for the trouble, but I really appreciate it."
"Of course. It was good to have you with us, Felix – I bit you good luck for any future endeavor."
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Two weeks after he put in his request for a transfer, he received confirmation that the other institute had agreed to take him, and it was with a painful mix of relief and guilt that Felix left his current workplace for the last time.
(He didn't tell any of his patients. As much as he hated betraying their trust of the sort, he simply couldn't deal with their obsessive tendencies anymore, and knew that telling them he was leaving would only upset them further.)
He'd quickly moved out after that, finding a nice apartment in the new town, not too far from the new institute where he'd be working. He'd specifically asked not to be put in charge of patients with a criminal record, too, hoping it'd give him a break, and they'd readily agreed, all too happy to welcome a doctor they wouldn't have to pay as much as the others for the extra life insurances.
It was now four months after his transfer. Felix had settled in well in his new environment, he liked his new patients, he got along well with the staff, and he'd even started going out with his cute new neighbor, Eric, a few weeks back. For the first time since he'd started working with the seven others, he felt like he could breathe again, and he'd never been happier.
"Thank you again for taking me out tonight," smiled Felix as they stopped before the door of his apartment – Eric's was just a few doors down the hall. "I had a wonderful time."
"I'm glad. You're still on for movie night this Friday?"
"Of course. I'll bring my homemade brownies, as promised."
"Awesome, I'm really looking forward to them, then!"
Felix chuckled, leaning on the tip of his toes to press a shy kiss to his lips. They weren't dating yet, hadn't really picked a label still, but they were open to physical affection such as hugs, cuddling, and kisses.
"I'll see you Friday, then?" breathed out Eric, smiling softly.
"Friday it is," replied Felix, smiling back.
With a wave, Eric then returned to his own place, and Felix entered his apartment. He was mindful to lock the door behind him, as always, then switched on the lights and made a beeline for the TV (he always put the late-night news on to catch up to what he'd missed during the day while at work).
"—and the seven escapees have yet to get caught. The authorities advise civilians to be cautious, stay home, and to not approach them should they be sighted. Keep in mind that many of them are known murderers and, as such, are highly dangerous. It happened—"
Felix was frozen on the spot, his jaw falling open, as he took in the pictures of seven all-too-familiar men shining on the screen. He'd briefly heard of a major break-out in one of the neighboring institutes, but he hadn't realized...
::
"Don't run when we come."
::
Felix bolted for the bathroom but collapsed midway and threw up on the floor.
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The following days were, without a doubt, the most stressful of Felix's life. He grew intensely paranoid, looking over his shoulder at every corner and basically locking himself up in his apartment whenever he wasn't at work.
The seven escapees had yet to be found, but Felix knew – he knew they were looking for him, which meant he needed to disappear before one of them found him. He'd already put in a new transfer request and had already started looking into a new place located in a city on the other side of the country.
I'll be okay, he kept on telling himself, unable to sleep at night because they kept on haunting his dreams. They won't find me, I'll be okay, they'll get caught, I'll be okay, they can't hurt, I'll be okay...!
Felix really, really wanted to believe that.
Friday came and, against his better judgement, he agreed to join Eric at his apartment for their planned movie night. He needed some mentally stable human contact and watching some dumb movies ought to help him get out of his own head for a bit.
He was extremely tensed for a while but, halfway through the first movie, he'd eventually relaxed in Eric's arms, and had even found himself dozing off a bit. He was gently shaken awake at some point, Eric telling him something about "the pizza being here", and Felix had simply moved over to let him get up, cuddling with some pillows instead.
He heard the door open, some muffled voices... and then a gurgling noise, followed by the distinct 'THUMP' of a body hitting the floor. Felix instantly froze, unable to move or even open his eyes even though his instincts were screaming at him to get up, check what was going on, run—
Dainty fingers brushed some hair out of his face, followed by an all-too-familiar giggle. The sound finally managed to snap him out of his frozen state and, inhaling sharply, he opened his eyes.
Minho grinned at him. "Hello, Lixie. I missed you~!"
Felix instinctively tried to scramble away, scream for help, but a rough hand slapped over his mouth from behind, another arm snaking around his torso and pinning his arms against his side, before lifting him. He instantly started struggling against the suffocating hold, in vain – whoever was holding him was too strong.
"Did you really think you could get away with acting like such a fucking slut? You're lucky I got here before that jerk tried anything with you."
Chan...!
Felix could hardly move anymore, all strength slowly leaving his body as he grew lightheaded, becoming practically boneless under Chan's unforgiving grip. His vision doubled slightly as Minho giggled again, cradling his face, and playfully kissing his nose.
"So pretty, Lixie~! I finally get to touch you...!"
"Come on, let's get out of here."
Felix barely had the time to see Eric's lifeless body on the floor before Chan carried him out and back to... his own apartment. It's only once back inside, with Minho slamming the door shut behind them, that Chan's hold loosened ever so slightly.
Felix's head lolled to the side, too dizzy from the almost inhuman pressure keeping him still, and he barely even noticed when he was brought to his couch and none other than Jisung appeared, carrying thin, but solid-looking red ropes.
A roll of tape was slapped over his mouth, effectively silencing any attempt at calling out for help, and Jisung got started on tying him up with palpable glee. Chan released Felix once he was certain he wouldn't be able to run, and Felix let out a whimper as he was shoved to lay on his side, his arms pulled behind his back to be tied there.
As he slowly started reconnecting with his own body, he began taking in the sight of his living room now completely taken over by his greatest nightmares. Chan was looming over the couch behind him, Minho was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, Jisung was humming under his breath as he tied intricate knots around his limbs, Hyunjin was kneeling on the floor and muttering prayers under his breath, Changbin was huddled in a corner and rocking back and forth, Seungmin was leaning against the wall and grinning broadly, and Jeongin was sitting directly on the floor, staring at him with dark, almost lifeless eyes.
"I told you not to run away from us," he stated plainly. "Innie and Yang were upset."
"Why did you leave me?" whispered Changbin, eyes wide with pain and horror. "You left and the voices came back. They made me hurt so many people... I didn't want to, but you weren't there to stop them, so I had to...!"
"Fucking slut, opening his legs the moment I'm not around," scoffed Chan, roughly grabbing his hair and pulling, earning a pained whimper. "Is that how you treat your own fucking boyfriend? I'll teach you manners, baby boy."
He was pulling so hard, some hair was ripped out of his scalp. He collapsed on the couch once Chan let go, a few tears falling down his cheeks, and Jisung gasped.
"So beautiful... Your tears will be perfect for my new project..." he mumbled.
"Give me!"
Minho practically lunged forward, licking a stripe up Felix's freckled cheek to steal his tears, and he moaned loudly at the taste. Felix simply closed his eyes, wishing with every fiber of his being that this was just another nightmare – but the ache growing in his tied-up limbs told him otherwise.
"Bet you didn't expect us to come after you, huh?" snorted Seungmin. "Getting them to work for me wasn't easy, but it certainly paid off."
"I only serve God, not you," hissed Hyunjin, glaring at him.
"Whatever. Just get back to praying, you still need to apologize for not taking care of your angel properly."
Hyunjin gasped, his eyes widening in horror, and he instantly bowed down again, his prayers becoming louder as he begged for forgiveness. Seungmin snorted, shaking his head, and Felix belatedly realized that only him was still lucid enough to actually plan a successful escape from the mental institute. Manipulating Hyunjin and Changbin had surely been easy. And with how obsessed Chan, Minho, Jisung, and Jeongin were with him, Felix doubted he'd had a hard time convincing them to help out.
Fuck, he really should have seen this coming.
"All done~. Look, isn't he beautiful...?"
Jisung's breathless statement instantly drew everyone's attention, and Felix squirmed as he felt their gazes grew heavier, darkened with palpable want. He flinched when he felt Minho's hand trail up his side in a sensual manner, unable to move away because Jisung had used what appeared to be a shibari technique to tie him up.
A strangled noise escaped him when Chan unceremoniously picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. The tears started falling faster as he tried to plead with them, tried to reason them, but no words were coming out and he only then realized that no matter what he said, they wouldn't listen to him anyway.
"Come on," urged Chan, heading for the door. "We're going home."
Home? What's home!?
Jeongin walked up to them and cradled his face so their eyes could meet – and, for the first time since they'd first met, the personality's blank expression shifted.
He smiled. "This is going to be fun, hyung."
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