Iris stood on her bed. She closed her eyes and imagined the gold sparks flying through her body. She developed goosebumps on her arms and legs with the energy, the magical field flowing through her, but she concentrated harder. She knew she had to do this. She had started to feel weak already, physically. But at the same time she felt strong, magically. She tested that the room was soundproof by dropping the steel glass on the floor and waited for anyone to wake up and come up to investigate. No one came. The wards were still in place and working.

She had been trying this for a month now. And every single time, she failed. Last week she spliced herself and had to make up a reasonable lie, to explain her injuries. Then she lost two fingernails, two days back. And yesterday, half of her eyebrow.

She turned on the spot, concentrating hard on the chair. Iris opened her eyes. The loud crack surprised her enough that, she almost fell off, the wooden chair but she caught herself as she jumped down whooping happily for the first time in the last few months. She had just successfully managed to apparate. Now all she had to do was find the old man she and her father met in the pub, Albus Dumbledore. And she would get her answers.

Iris set to work. She had to find all she could about Hogwarts. She knew from the short conversation, she remembered that he was the Headmaster at this school.

And only one person could tell her how to find this man. At the moment, the only person who could provide her with any kind of information was Severus Snape. But she did not want to ask him for help, she knew he wouldn't help her even if she asked.

A month back Severus had tried to say that he was sorry for what happened to her father.

"Iris, I heard what happened." the scrawny git said. Iris nodded blankly staring straight ahead. She never wanted to go out. Aunt Marie had forced her to saying she needed the fresh air.

"Iris, I am sorry about what happened." he tried again to get to her. "I understand, what you are going through. If you want you can talk to us, me or Lily, we are your friends, right?"

Iris merely snorted when she heard the words that left his mouth. Interfering, scrawny, little git!

“What for are you sorry?" she asked, her voice sharp and strangely high. “You didn't cause his death."

What would he know the pain of losing a father when his own was a drunkard who abused him. When he would be glad if his own died! What would this stupid, greasy haired boy know about seeing your father being murdered in front of your eyes while you are forced to hide?

“I- I didn't. But am sorry for your loss. I understand your feelings." he tried. She looked away from him towards the calm lake.

She put every hurtful, spiteful thought into words. Her emerald green eyes blazed as she took out all her anger out on him in one bout of verbal diarrhoea and stomped off. She knew she had hurt her friend. She knew she shouldn't have said that, but it was anger at everyone who said they understood her loss that was spilling out.

They did not understand. They could never. And she did not think they could ever understand. Her father had been her world. His eyes crinkling up in happy pride as he smiled at her achievements, showing off his two dimples whenever he smiled. He would never smile anymore at her. His eyes won't even hold disappointment at her failures. His eyes won't ever show anger at her mistakes, nor would he be there anymore to correct her, to encourage her or to defend her.

She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth but she couldn't take them back.

She wanted to go right back and say sorry but her pride wouldn't allow her.

And now even Lily wouldn't talk to her properly. What she did not understand about Iris' anger was that she was not angry at Severus. No, the poor boy was not at fault. She was angry at his kind, the wizards and witches. Especially the ones responsible for her parents' deaths.

And she had no way to vent her anger. So it all came out in a bout of verbal diarrhoea. The question now was how to explain that to Severus. She jumped off the chair, realising she was still standing on it and went to lay down on the soft bed. She had to go to school tomorrow. And sleeping would help her to think. And she was too drained as it is to think now. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, the frown lines on her face dissolving into innocent dreamy bliss.

Next morning she was woken up by Aunt Marie gently shaking her. She smiled at the woman genuinely surprising her slightly.

“Morning Auntie!" she stretched before getting into the bathroom and washing up. She dressed up in her normal school clothes and walked down still yawning, carrying her rain jacket in one hand and the school bag on her shoulder.

“Morning Iris." Aunt Marie said setting down her breakfast of eggs and bacon.

“Ah the bacon smells nice. Am so excited to tear into it." she said sniffing. Uncle Ben chuckled happy as well as surprised at the sudden change. Petunia pranced in wearing her new school dress and carrying her knee length raincoat in one hand. She preffered the rain coat to the rain jackets (kept her cleaner, according to her).

“Morning Nia! Could you please pass the ketchup." Petunia looked up in shock. She passed the ketchup.

“You are talking again?" she blurted out before she could stop herself. Aunt Marie sent her a stern look. Petunia did not notice it. Iris smiled bitterly.

“Yes, don't think my father would have wanted me to wallow around in self pity." she replied.

“Oh Iris!" both Aunt Marie and Petunia pulled her into a short hug. “It's great to finally have you back then." Petunia said hugging her. Iris smiled.

“Thank you, Nia." she muttered and they broke their group hug. Lily entered the kitchen stretching.

“Morning everyone!" she mumbled before settling down at the table to eat. She started tearing onto her bacon and eggs. Iris knew this would be the most difficult, especially with her temper. So she decided to deal with her last.

“Orange juice, Iris?" Uncle Ben asked.

“No. I don't like it." she said.

“Very well, have a little then. It's good for you." he said pouring some out for her. Iris gulped it down in one go and drank water to get the taste off her tongue.

“I will drop you girls to school. It's raining hard today." Mr. Evans said getting up and picking up his coat. He took down the car keys and they were soon out of the house in the pouring rain. Iris pulled up the hood of her brown and yellow jacket as they walked to the car. Her turquoise jeans still got somewhat wet and Petunia was totally dry.

She wished now she had thought of buying a raincoat too, instead of the jacket. They got into the car and Uncle Ben put the on the heater. The hot air blowing in the car soon semi-dried her jeans. After some time he even put on some music. Classical of course, but he was making small conversation about the weather and how they were doing at school. He dropped off Nia at her school first and then dropped Lily and Iris at their school building.

Both the girls had not spoken the entire time. Iris was expecting that, somewhat. She knew Lily had a nasty temper. “Erm, Lils?" she asked.

“Hmm" was all the response she got as they started taking brisk strides towards the maroon and grey building.

“I think we are early." Iris pointed out. She had no difficulty with her pace. She just needed more time to talk to her alone, instead of in a full classroom.

“So?" Lily shot back. “I don't want to be late for classes Iris." she clarified. Iris shut up for a minute. They climbed up the stairs and reached the lockers. A note was stuck to Iris' locker with a chewing gum. 'FREAK' was clearly spelled out in letters cut up from newspapers or posters. Iris merely pulled off the note and crumpled it up throwing it in the nearest bin with a sigh. She noticed Lily look at her from the corner of her eye. She took out the books for the first lecture and waited patiently for Lily to be done.

“Hey freak! Like my little note?" Eric the hottest jerk in school called out. Iris smiled at him and waved causing him to stumble into his friend.

“Lily, I wanted to tell you something." she said finally having waited long enough.

“What?" Lily snapped. Iris winced but took a deep breath to find her courage. She had to do this. Or she could forget all about asking Severus.

“I am sorry." she said quietly.

“Great!" Lily replied and started walking. Iris followed her with a sigh. “Wait a minute... what did you just say?" she asked turning around to face her ad they reached the classroom door.

“I said 'I am sorry.' Lily." Iris drawled slowly this time as if explaining to a child. She was a bit put off and annoyed by Lily's reactions. That was all she could do to stop herself from shaking her and screaming 'I just said sorry. It took me a lot to say it. And all you respond with is 'great'?'

Suddenly Lily had flung her arms around her and in a whirl of scent of strawberries, she hugged her tight. “Oh am sorry too, Iris. I understand what you went through. And I realise what it must have taken you. Friends again?" she whispered.

“Forever, Lils." Iris whispered back.

“Ooh is it hug day, Evans? Can I get one too?" Eric turned up out of nowhere.

“Go stuff yourself." Iris said to him. He looked shocked for a moment.

“Found your voice, freak?" he turned to her.

“What is going on here? Smith, Evans, King get inside right this moment or you will have detention I tell you." the English teacher herded them all inside the classroom and took the roll call

“Applebum Wanda." the teacher called. The girl with blonde pigtails got up marked her presenty by raising her hand and cried out present.

“Evans Iris." the teacher called out a little later. And Iris felt a sharp kick to her calf and she realised it was her name being called. She raised her hand and cried present. One would think Iris was used to raising her hand at the name but Lily had to kick her calf everyday to get her to raise her hand and cry present.

“Evans Lily!" the teacher called next. Lily marked her presenty like a normal person. Soon the roll call was over and the teacher started with her lecture.

**********

“Hey." Iris said quietly trying to smile at the frowning boy. Lily had dragged her off this evening to meet up with Severus. They waited for him, swinging on the swings in the park and then he came wearing his everyday oversized clothes, his hair as greasy as ever.

“What is she doing here!" he hissed to Lily who immediately went on defensive for her sister.

“She wished to play as well, Sev." she replied casually. Severus Snape glared at her.

“I don't want to play with her. She is a muggle." he said scornfully.

“Severus!" Lily cried out. “She is my sister. I will play with her if I want to. You can play with us if you want."

“Lily! She insulted me. And all I did was try to comfort her!" he argued back.

“And Iris is ready to say sorry. Aren't you, Iris?" Lily turned to her. Iris nodded eagerly swallowing all her pride down.

“Well, let's hear it first." Severus said stubbornly putting his nose in the air and crossing his arms.

Iris sighed. “I am sorry, Severus." she said.

“It's okay." he replied glancing at Lily who stood giving him an expectant look.

“But Lily, there's a problem.... she can't know. The muggles are not supposed to know we exist." he insisted. Lily looked at her unsure.

“Am sure that law doesn't apply to a muggleborn witch or wizard's family. How else are you going to explain the things that their kids can do, without telling them magic exists?" Iris questioned him and he looked like he was thinking. “And I already know you are a wizard. You said that in the park that day. So I understand perfectly if you don't want to tell me, but please don't insult my intelligence."

“Fine, you can stay." he muttered.

“Thank you Sevvie!" Iris squealed giving him a hug, she knew would annoy him. “I swear I won't be trouble." she pouted. He shrugged, removing her hands off him, blushing slightly.

**********

“C'mon Severus! I will introduce you at home. It's my birthday!" Lily was pulling on his arm and insisting he come home. But the boy was feeling awkward. He shook his head no.

“Is it because of your father again?" Iris asked looking up from her sketch book and sneaking a peek at the black eye that he had attempted to hide under his greasy black hair. He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible that she did not catch but she thought he said it's not that.

“Didn't hear you." she said.

“What are you sketching anyways?" he asked getting on all fours and crawling across the small patch of grass to sit beside her. “Wow! Who's that?" he asked looking at the beautiful boy in the sketch.

“My prince charming." Iris replied confidently. Severus snorted.

“They don't exist." he said still staring at the sketch of the boy with short stark black hair. His eyes were a strong black, the same as his hair. And they held a kind fire and mischief in them. Iris merely rolled her eyes at his statement and merely added a gleaming sword in her prince's hand.

“It's just a sketch assignment." she said adding the outlines for rubies.

“Draw your prince charming?" he smirked obviously not believing her.

“Don't be silly. 'Prince charmings' do not exist. It's draw a warrior in a fight stance." she replied.

“You are good at this sketching stuff." he muttered.

“And you are bad at hiding your injuries." she said closing her book and looking him in the eye. “He hit him because he comes here every evening. And he will hit him again if he says he wants to go to your birthday." she told Lily reaching up to move his hair out of his eyes. They were not as greasy as they looked. Kind of silky instead. “Look." she said moving out of Lily's view to show her the black eye.

Lily gasped. “It's nothing." he muttered moving back and covering up with his hair again.

“No, it's not nothing. It's abuse. He can't drag you into their fights. He can't hit you just because he didn't get to know the people he slept with." Iris growled, her anger suddenly flaring up.

“You can't do anything about it." he whispered. “My mother doesn't want the muggle authorities involved. They will just take him away and we will become poorer. If he's not there, we cannot support ourselves and the authorities will take me to a children's home. We don't want that. And it's not that bad. Mother is making a potion to make it better."

Iris sighed. For the first time clearly understanding what happened in the Snape home. “Oh Severus!" Lily cried and hugged him. “I wish it was not so. I wish you did not have to live with that everyday. I wish we could do something." she whispered.

“It's okay Lils. Really. Just an year more and we will get our letters and we will be off to Hogwarts. And then he won't be able to harm me. Then I will be the stronger one, and he will be weak." he said confidently. Iris sighed.

“I have been trying to learn spells as well. From my mother's old books. She had hidden then under the floorboards in the attic and I recently found them." he said excited.

“What kind of spells, Sev?" Lily asked getting curious.

“All kinds of spells. Hexes, curses, dark spells, spells to teach your enemies a lesson. All kind." he told her.

“But isn't that all bad stuff? What about healing spells?" she asked softly creeping up to sit nearer to him.

“Yes there are a few healing spells as well.... in another book..." he said getting uncomfortable. Iris noticed it but decided to remain quite.

“Severus, have you any books that tell of chors?" she asked. He shook his head.

“Erm, no, I mean yes. I will look, but no I don't think so. They were mentioned in this old and pretty torn up book. Why are you so interested in that?" he asked narrowing his eyes. Iris shrugged nonchalantly.

“Just asking. What do you know of them?" she asked.

“Not much. But they do not exist. Their kind originated in India and they can such out your magic and life force within minutes if they get a chance to touch you. Some even call them the children of death." he whispered at the end as if telling them a good ghost story. Lily gave a scared whimper.

“Don't worry Lils. As he said, they don't exist. And if one does come up, Severus will protect us, right?" Iris asked.

“Yeah if I can find how to defeat one who freely uses their power." he muttered.

“Am sure even they have a weakness." Iris encouraged.

“Most of them are squibs. Their families have some kind of curse." he said. “So they cannot work long."

“You have researched them!" Iris cried out in surprise.

“Not exactly." he blushed. “But they seemed interesting among the other dark creatures."

“So Severus, any idea where this Albus Dumbledore lives?" she asked out of the blue. Atleast it seemed out of the blue to the other two.

“The Headmaster of Hogwarts? At Hogwarts of course!" he replied with a slight smirk.

“Not that way, silly! When there's no school, where does he live?" she asked.

“Oh that..." he trailed off. And then annoyed at her for asking a question that he did not know the answer to when Lily was looking expectantly at him he snapped. “Why do you want to know anyway?"

“Chill, just asking. Say you don't want to tell me, if you don't want to. Fine by me." she huffed angrily, collected her stuff, got up and left.

“Iris, wait up..." Lily called.

“Let her go. She's got too much attitude." Severus insisted but Lily followed her back home.

**********

“Here have a chocolate frog." Severus offered. Iris turned away from him childishly. “It's a wizard sweet. It's great. They even have collectible cards in them!" he insisted trying to get her attention. She would trail them, play with them, but only talk to Lily. It has finally gotten to Severus he would have to initiate the sorry, this time.

“Look am sorry I snapped, okay?" he said coming to stand in front of her holding out the bribe.

“No. It's not okay. You cannot just snap at me like that when I ask you something. You never snap at Lily." she growled.

“Iris." he sighed. “I really am sorry, Rissy." he muttered. “I won't snap again. Promise. Okay?"

Iris looked at the boy from under her overgrown bangs falling into her eyes. “Okay, but only because I don't want to waste your chocolate." she grinned grabbing it. He smiled easily giving it up. They waited for Lily. Iris had arrived earlier, and soon Severus had come up from the other side of the hill too. Maybe, Lily had just planned it, claiming to sprain her ankle and telling her to go ahead.

“Lily told you, didn't she?" she asked him. The boy turned his curious charcoal eyes on her.

“Told me what?" he asked, his words were slow, almost a drawl.

“You know, bribe me with chocolate." Iris grinned at him wiggling her eyebrows. He smiled and nodded shyly.

“I bet she didn't sprain her ankle, as well." she shook her head and Severus watched as the sun played with her dark hair.

“Your hair, it's red in the sun." he said playing with a strand loose from her high ponytail.

“I know." she muttered, even as she spotted Lily walking perfectly normally up the small hill. “I thought you sprained your ankle." she called out. Lily heard her and suddenly started hobbling a little.

“Yes, it still hurts." she said. Iris started laughing.

“You can stop pretending Lils, I know you did it so he could say sorry in peace." she told Lily and the girl started walking normally.

“So it worked?" she asked settling down between the two.

“Sure, it did work. You know I can't say no to chocolate." Iris smiled.

“And yet she made a good show of refusing it." Severus muttered. Both Iris and Lily laughed to his discomfort and he joined in awkwardly.

“Let's share it." Iris said breaking up the wiggling frog in her hand. “What is this?" she asked pulling out a card.

“It's the card." Severus replied off handedly. “Who did you get?" he asked.

“Albus Dumbledore." she said peering down at the old man whose eyes twinkled.

“Well you can collect them if you want, I don't have many, but my mother sneaks in some whenever she can. I have two of him." he said. Iris turned back the card.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Senior Warlock of Wizengamot.

Order of Merlin First class.

Albus Dumbledore is a renowned alchemist and one of the best wizards of all time in history. He is credited for finding twelve uses of dragon blood and for the defeat of the dark wizard, Gellert Grindelwald.

He is friends with Nicholas Flamel, the famous alchemist who invented the philosopher's stone.

Albus Dumbledore currently lives a quiet alone life in Godric's Hollow.

“Wow!" Lily cried looking at it over his shoulder. “twelve uses of dragon blood? Amazing." Iris turned the card over to take a look at the old man with his long beard and twinkling blue eyes, but he has disappeared.

“Sev!" Lily cried in surprise. “He's gone."

“Well you can't expect him to sit there all day, can you Lily?" he rolled his eyes.

So he lived in Godric's Hollow.

A/N: I hope this was good... and I hate myself...

I swear I deserve to jump down the tallest building in the world... how can I not respect myself enough? how can I fall in love with him all over again?

I am so confused right now and I needed to put this rant out there, so you got this update... ahhh I hate my ex, me and my sister who convinced me I still love him....

I know I didn't require much convincing and that is what scares me... I should hate him after all that he has put me through, after all those breakups and I don't know why he loves to come back only to leave me again

So this time, I am going to try something else, yes am evil that way, make him go crazy and leave him... let him experience the heartbreak he puts me through atleast once, then he won't come back again, right??

Am so confused, I don't want to see him hurt, but at the moment am mad at him for trying to get back in my single. perfect life and I want him to know how it feels... am I wrong?