The muggle street was mostly empty. I shoved my hands in my pockets and leaned against the bare brick wall of the alleyway. Only a few kids were out in the last rays of sunshine, playing around on the swings in the park. The sun cast long shadows in it's pink and orange glory. I stood in the shadows of the alley and put the cigarette to my lips. Taking the lighter out of my pocket I lit it and inhaled deep, letting the smoke swirl in my mouth and enter my system.  breathing out of my nose.

The smoke curled up and slowly dissolved into the air, into nothingness. I took yet another drag, the tip turning a bright orange, touching the filter to my lips and inhaled the sweet smoke deep into my lungs. I knew it was harmful. I knew it would do me no good, wouldn't improve my situation but it felt good. As if I was in control. As of I was destroying my life rather than hand it over to someone else to destroy. I exhaled into the cool air the smoke curling up yet again to join the smoke floating in front of me.

My first light, my first drag two weeks before was with Tony, not so surprisingly. He had been smoking for an year now with Adrian for company, sometimes. He had turned into quite a mess with his father and him getting pressurised to join up. The last time I met him I had been sent to convince him. To tell him what would happen if they refused any longer, to warn him in a very decent manner. He was smoking one cig after the other making my nose wrinkle up. He chuckled and merely offered me one.

Try it, he said, it's a great stressbuster. I took the lit cigarette between my fingers and imitated him taking my first drag. I had a coughing fit which made him laugh. I rolled my eyes and took a second drag. Then my third, fourth fifth and I learnt it. It felt nice.

By the end I had a hit. I had my first nicotine kick, a high. And it felt amazing. Like I had no tensions in the damn world. Made me think clearer. It made me feel nauseous but it never happened again. By the end I had managed to kind of convince him. He agreed to join up if we left his sister alone. I promised to spare Sera. That was easy. She was my best friend. So over cigarette smoke and a new bonding session we agreed to two things. Smoking was a good stressbuster and as long as he would join the dark lord (join, no one said anything about staying loyal.) Sera's safety was my concern.

And that is how I got into the habit. Right now am somewhat addicted to these kreteks. The sweet feeling the clove cig leaves me with a nice feeling inside. I had no idea you could get addicted this easily. But I guess when you are searching for something to concentrate on other than your misery you find lots of things. I am usually very careful. Eating mints and spraying deo all over me to mask the smell. Dad doesn't know about this as of yet, I think. Cause if he did I believe he would skin me alive. He obviously would and I deserve to be skinned. I observed the cig getting low. I took yet another drag of the sweet smoke and I crushed the butt under my shoe. I was about to pull yet another Djarum Black from my pack when I heard it. The loud pop, the sound of apparition. Another followed it. My ears pricked up.

It had definitely come from the direction of Spinner's End. I stuffed my cigarette pack into my military boots and started running. It could be anyone at this hour. Anyone! And I couldn't have Dad facing them alone. I had to be there with him. I ran through the hedges, jumping over the small, dirty banked rivulets and took a shortcut through the back alley. I jumped over the fence and opened the back door and entered through the kitchen. Fuck! I forgot my mints. I smelled my jacket. It smelled of smoke. The smell of mozzarella cheese wafted over to me from the oven. I stood in front of the oven hoping to catch on some of the smell and disguise my smoke smell. But I can bet he will know it from a mile away. A smoker can tell the smell from eons away.

Shit! I was so darned dead. I started swearing freely under my breath when the bell rang. I walked out of the kitchen. He was reading the paper near the fireplace. The living room was dimly lit only with the dying flames in the fireplace. I walked to the door and checked through the eyepiece. Two ladies stood on the porch wearing hoods.

He was behind me in an instant. “What is that smell?” he sniffed. I shrugged innocently enough hoping he wouldn't notice it came from me.

“Maybe the river.” I muttered under my breath but he shook his head no, still sniffing. I opened the door only a crack. One of the women threw back her hood.

The stood in the doorway, her silver blond sheet of hair flowing behind her like a river. She was so pale that she seemed to shine in the darkness. She was certainly beautiful, unlike her sister who stood beside her.

“Narcissa!” Dad said, opening the door a little wider so that light fell upon the sisters. “What a pleasant surprise!”

I smirked, we were expecting her to turn up. Just not with the present company, both with her and in our home. Aunt Bella looked so much like me, the resemblance was uncanny. The same dark curls, frizzy and tangled. The same crazyish look in our eyes. The same anger, the same physique. We were very much similar. Only I was a little taller and had a bit too much of my mother in my features. Aunt Bella looked worse and older because of Azkaban, only I didn't. And she still hadn't taken off her hood.

“Severus...” she whispered in a strained voice. “May I speak with you? It's urgent.”

“But of course.” Dad stood back to allow them to pass into the house and pulled be behind along with him. “I will deal with you later.” he hissed in my ear confirming my suspicions. He knew the smell.

“Snape.” Bellatrix greeted curtly entering the house.

“Bellatrix.” he sneered, his mouth curling up into a mocking smile, the creaky door closed with a snap behind them. I rolled my eyes and followed them into the small sitting room. Dad pointed Narcissa at the sofa. She sat down clasping both her hands, nervously. Aunt Bella finally lowered her hood and stood behind her sister.

“I would like to talk to you alone, Severus.” she said, obviously implying me.

“Well, we are not exactly alone, Narcissa. Your sister is here-” Dad's lips curled up in a very unpleasant manner.

“I trust her Severus, she won't breath a word outside.” Narcissa cut him off.

“Very well. I trust my daughter, Narcissa. She won't breath a word outside.” he said settling himself down in the armchair. I went to stand behind him, leaning casually against the bookcase but my hand was readily placed near my wand. Aunt Bella sneered.

“I tell you Cissy, I trust the girl more than this dual skinned snake.” she cut in but was ignored.

“Thank you, Bellatrix.” Dad said dismissively to her and Narcissa carried on the conversation.

“We... we are alone, aren't we?” Narcissa asked.

“Yes, of course. Well, Wormtail's here but we are not considering vermin, are we?” he asked lazily waving his wand at the bookcase behind him, to reveal a door. With a bang the door flew open to reveal the silhouette of a hunchbacked man with a balding head and overly large front teeth. He wore a nasty simper and was caressing his silver hand. His watery eyes darted around the room. He crept down the last few steps into the room.

“Narcissa! Bellatrix!” he squeaked in a high pitched voice. “How charming--”

“Wormtail will get us drinks.” Dad said simply not paying much attention to him. “If you did like them. And then he will return to his bedroom.”

“I am not your servant.” he protested, his squeaks not having much of an impression. Dad turned his coal black glare upon him.

“Really? I was under the impression the dark lord sent you here to assist me.” he drawled lazily.

“To assist you, yes. Not to bring you drinks and.. and clean your house!” he pointed out a bit flustered.

“I had no idea you were craving more dangerous tasks. That can be easily arranged. Shine shall speak to the dark lord.”

“I can speak to him myself if I want--”

“Very good.” Dad said appreciatively as if praising a kid and I had to resist the urge to clasp mockingly. “In the meanwhile get us some drinks. The elf made wine would do.”

Wormtail looked like he might argue but he turned through the second hidden door into the kitchen. There was some clinking if glasses and soon enough hecwas out with four glasses and an uncorked bottle. Now I wasn't going to drink anything that idiot uncorked, he may have spat in it!

But the other three picked up their glasses. “To the dark lord.” Dad said draining his glass. The sisters followed his example. While I drained my glass into the nearby flowerpot. Pettigrew disappeared behind the hidden door yet again.

“Severus, I am sorry to come here like this, unannounced. But you are the only one who I believe could help me.” she whispered. Dad raised up a hand to make her stop talking.

He pointed his wand to the door and a bang was heard. Peter who was listening in, most probably squealed in surprise at the shock that ran through his body and ran upstairs.

“My apologies.” Dad said quietly, his voice dry. “He has lately taken to listening in at doors. I don't know what he means by it..... you were saying, Narcissa?” Dad signalled me to put up the secrecy charms. I nodded and waved my wand around muttering incantations.

“I have been clearly instructed not to say anything to anyone.” she wrung her hands nervously.

“Then you ought to hold your tongue.” Aunt Bella snarled in warning. “Especially in current company.”

“Current company? Aunt Bells what are we to understand by that?” I questioned, furrowing up my brows.

“Let her speak, Narcissa.” Dad warned for it looked like she would cut off her sister's reply. “It's essential that we let her say what she has been bursting to say if we are to avoid unnecessary tedious interruptions.”

“Merely that I do not trust him, as you both very well know.” she sneered in reply. Narcissa made an exasperated sound somewhere between a dry sob and a protest and hid her face in her hands.

“Why is it that you do not trust me, Bellatrix?” Dad asked sardonically.

“Millions of reasons.” she fumed and strode out from behind the sofa. She slammed her glass on the table spilling some of the red liquid. “Tell me Snape, where were you when the dark lord fell? And why did you not try to revive him in all these years? Why did you never make any attempt to find him when he vanished? What have you been doing all these years in Dumbledore's pocket? Why did you stop the dark lord from procuring the Sorcerer's Stone? Why did you not return at once when the dark lord was reborn? Where were you when we battled to retrieve the prophecy? And why Snape, is Harry Potter still alive when you have had him at your mercy for all that's years?”

She paused, her chest rising and falling heavily with each breath she took. I rolled my eyes and wished I had my cigarette right now. It's my escape way out of awkward situations exactly like this. How stupid can any person be! Does she think he would be alive to answer her right now if he hadn't been able to answer the dark lord convincingly?

“Do you question the dark lord's judgement, Aunt Bells?” I asked cocking my head to one side. “Do you really believe he would be alive to answer you had his answers not been convincing enough?”

“He believes him, but...”

“You really think he managed to hoodwink the dark lord, one of the greatest wizards alive?” I asked, my eyebrows riding higher.

“It's okay Shine. I will answer her questions. Oh yes, Bellatrix I will answer you. And you can carry my words to those who whisper behind my back.” Dad said quietly.

He proceeded to give her her all the explanation he gave to the dark lord only a month before making her jaw drop slightly. She still looked disappointed but it was plainly apparent from the conversation that she had lately lost favour with the dark lord. I smirked, pleased at the way his brain worked; not that I had any credit but still... the expression on her face was priceless and the urge to smirk totally unresistible.

Taking advantage of her silence Dad turned to Narcissa who explained her situation. “The dark lord doesn't wish me to speak of it, he.... he wishes the plan to be secret...” she began.

“If the dark lord thinks so, you ought not to speak.” Dad joined the tips of his fingers making her go silent.

“See!” Bellatrix cried in triumph. “Even Snape thinks so, you should hold your tongue.”

“However it so happens that the dark lord trusted me with the plan.” Dad got up from the low armchair and checked the outside once, then closed the curtains tightly. “I know of the plan. Nevertheless, you would have been responsible for great treachery to the dark lord if it had been that I was not in on the secret.”

“I thought you would know. He trusts you so... Severus..”

“He knows?” Bellatrix was gaping open mouthed. “You know? You know about the plan?”

“Certainly.” Dad said, one corner of his lip turning up unpleasantly before he turned to Narcissa. “But what help do you require, Narcissa? If you are imagining that I can persuade the dark lord to spare Draco, to change his mind, I am afraid there is no hope at all.”

Narcissa began to sob once again. “There has to be something, anything that can be done. Please Severus... not Draco, not my only son. He's only sixteen. He shouldn't be the one to pay for Lucius' mistakes-”

“You should be proud.” Bellatrix cut in crazily. “If I had sons I would offer them to the dark lord...”

Dad looked away from both the sisters and the sight of Narcissa's tears but he couldn't pretend not to hear her. “Shine could do this Severus, she... she could do it in place of Draco. Please Severus, I know this is his vengeance. Please do something. This is punishment isn't it. For Lucius' mistakes?”

“I won't drag my daughter into this. If Draco succeeds, he will be honoured above all others.” Dad said quietly, making a wave of relief wash over me. I would do anything but commit a second murder especially when it's not my assigned task. The guilt of one was enough to last me a lifetime.

“But he won't!” she shrieked, her tears freely falling. “Even the dark lord-”

Bellatrix gasped. But it was true. Even the dark lord had failed at the task of killing Dumbledore, he was as strong as ever. But Narcissa seemed to lose some nerve.

“Please Severus, you have to help him. You are, have always been his favourite. You are his godfather.” she invoked her last weapon, emotional torture. Well, you and Lucius are my godparents but a moment before you wanted to use me as a sacrificial bait, I wanted to say but restrained my tongue. “Severus please, you are Lucius' best friend, the dark lord's most trusted advisor, please speak to him... try to convince him...”

“The dark lord will not be convinced and am not stupid enough to attempt it.” Dad replied flatly. “I cannot pretend that the dark lord is not angry with Lucius. He was supposed to be in charge but he got himself and many others caught. The dark lord is angry, very angry.”

“So he did chose Draco in revenge. I was right.” she sighed exasperated. “He does not mean him to succeed. He wants him to die trying.” Dad stayed silent, not even making the slightest attempt to deny the truth. Narcissa got hyper and lost all self restraint. She took hold of Dad's robes, tears streaming down her face, literally begging him now.

“You could do it, Severus. Shine too would succeed. He would honour above the rest of us. Above all. She would have eternal glory. You could have eternal glory. Please Severus.”

“He intends one of us to do it in the end. But he is determined that Draco try first. In case he does succed, I get to stay longer at Hogwarts as spy and Shine gets to remain as a highly trusted member of the Order.” Dad explained, clutching her wrists to make her let go of his robes. She seemed to lose all hope at those words.

“In other words, he intends him to die.” she whispered with an air of finality.

“In other words, the dark lord is very angry.” Dad repeated quietly. “He failed to hear the prophecy, Narcissa. He is very angry. The dark lord doesn't forgive easily.”

She gave a little scream of despair and threw away the glass of wine at the wall. It broke into pieces and the wine stained the wall. She collapsed to the floor, sobbing and pulling at the golden strands of her hair. I looked at Dad to beg him to help her. He sighed and nodded. He refilled another glass with wine and pressed it into her hand.

“My son... my only son...” she sobbed looking into his emotionless, cold, black holes.

“Narcissa, that's enough. Drink this.” he said stooping to lift her and steer her onto the couch. “Listen to me. It might be possible.... for me to help Draco.”

I didn't know where the conversation was headed. How could I know the vulnerable position my begging him to help her would lead to? How could I know that we would end up with his life in danger? How was I to know it would accelerate so fast?

“You.... you would?” she asked, her face glimmering with hope once more. “Will you watch over him, Severus? Severus... Oh Severus! If you are there to watch him, to help him.... Will you really help him? Swear on it, Severus! Will you make the Unbreakable vow?”

My eyes widened in fear. Our eyes locked for a fraction of a second. I was desperately screaming no, but I could only do that in my head. I gave a curt shake of my head, saying no, conveying my opinion. There were a hundred things that could go wrong. Draco could die. He could refuse help. It could kill Dad. He couldn't do this. His expression was blank.

“The Unbreakable vow?” he echoed blankly. He agreed with me. “I can try.” This would be too dangerous. Bellatrix laughed a laugh full of mirth.

“He can try!” she laughed. “Once again those same empty words. You hear him, Cissy? He will try, I am sure. There will be his usual slithering out of action.... Oh! And on the dark lord's orders of course.” she taunted us both with our earlier statements. But we had to stay out of action. We couldn't have possibly barged in at the ministry. The dark lord understood that. It was simple common sense, something this woman greatly lacked.

I looked at Dad. I could see his frame tense. His features showed some kind of determination as he stared down into her blue eyes. “Certainly, Narcissa, I will make the Unbreakable vow.” he announced suddenly. “Perhaps your sister will consent to be the Bonder?”

I froze to my place. He couldn't do thus. This was unessential. He didn't have to sacrifice himself.

“You will need your wand, Bellatrix.” he said coldly, kneeling down in front of Narcissa Malfoy. They grasped right hands. Bellatrix moved ahead and drew her wand but she still looked astonished. As for me, I felt like the earth had moved out from under my feet, like I did been sucked into a hollow so deep it was impossible to get out. He just dug his grave even deeper.

“And you will have to move a little closer.” he instructed calmly. Bellatrix moved closer, placing the tip of her wand on their entwined hands.

“Will you, Severus Snape vow to look over Draco while he attempts to fulfil the task given to him by the dark lord?” she spoke.

“I will.” Dad replied and a blue rope of flames coiled itself around their hands.

“And will you, to the best of your ability protect him from harm?” she asked. Obviously, he would. It would be the only human thing to do.

“I will.” he repeated and a second tongue of flames shot through the wand encircling their hands.

“And should it appear necessary, should it appear that Draco would fail...” she continued making demands. But this one we couldn't fulfil. This one demand was what would split his soul. I couldn't have that. “Will you finish the task the dark lord has given Draco?”

There was a moment of silence. I wanted to scream no. But I knew he would take the right desicion. I trusted him. His hand twitched in her grasp giving me hope. But he didn't separate.

“I will.” he repeated for the third time, proving me wrong and signing his death contract. He was suicidal and a discussion was definitely necessary. The third rope coiled around their linked hands, like a fiery snake, sealing the deal.