“Shine.” I turned around abruptly to look at the person who called my name. Terry walked fast towards me. I stuck a smile on my face.
“Hey, Terry.” I said cheerfully. He grinned.
“I need to talk to you. Could we, er, go somewhere more private?” he asked bouncing up and down on the balls of his heels, a little nervous. His hands; definitely sweaty, were shoved into his pockets. I raised an eyebrow at the sudden request.
“Sure.” I replied with a slight smile. “What about?”
“Not here.” He said looking around him at the people moving along in the corridor, not paying us much attention as they hurried off to lunch. I shrugged my shoulders noncommittaly and he nodded.
We walked together to the Black lake. It was mostly abandoned. Even though the holidays had ended and everyone was back, the snow still lingered on. It was too cold to be roaming around and not eating the ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch.
“I heard of the deal with Pucey.” he got directly to the topic. I leaned against the back of the elm tree and shoved my hands in my pockets. I nodded while a frown line subconsciously etched itself between my brows.
“What about it?” I asked, tersely.
“Do you really think it's wise? To protect him from the dark lord? Why do you want to become his shield? What has he done for you?” he asked facing me. I shrugged.
“What does it matter, Terence? I am an adult. A witch above seventeen and I have the right to make the choices I feel are correct. Just as you have.” I crossed my arms against my chest, stubbornly. I was pretty sure he knew what I was referring to.
“If you are referring to my decision of joining up the dark lord, then my choice was correct--”
“Do you realise what the fact that you feel the need to justify your choice shows me?” I smirked.
“I do not have doubts.” he hissed.
“Really? Then why did you not turn up at the Christmas meeting? Many new initiates pledged themselves that night. You weren't there. Now, unless you have doubts....”
“Look I wasn't there because I had personal problems. And this is hardly about me! This is about you and Pucey.” he replied hotly.
“There is nothing wrong with me or him. He needed protection from his family's torture. That was it. As for you, you are being an asshole. Why can't you just stay neutral?” I was almost shouting now.
“You don't understand!” he muttered.
“I? I don't understand? And pray tell me what is it that I don't understand?” I growled. He moved a hand over his face and pulled at his hair, taking a deep breath.
“Anything. You don't get anything.” he shouted back at me.
“Then make me understand, Terry. Please. I need to know why you wish to risk your life.” Right now I needed explanations. I wanted to desperately know why he was doing this. So I tried pleading with him. “This is dangerous. Joining him means death at some point. If he loses you die or rot away in Azkaban. And I have no idea, which is worse. And if he wins; assuming you survive the final battle that will surely take place, you will live all your life regretting the murders of the thousands of innocents. This is war, Terry. And not a righteous one. A war in which people die. No matter what side you are on... Why do you wish to voluntarily ruin your life?”
“Because I don't have a choice. I am virtually tired of my life.” he groaned. I didn't say anything, so he continued explaining. “I don't like the way my family looks at my brother or father. My mother's family think they are criminals for being born without magic. My father comes from a decent family. They treated him with all the love he deserved but as a respected family of purebloods having an only son who was a squib was a shame. Always a shame. And then my mother met him in Diagon Alley. Her family would never have agreed had we not belonged to the famous bloodline of Higgs. But when they realised the man is a squib, they threatened to break all contact with her. Over the years, my grandparents melted and accepted their daughter's decisions. But her siblings and rest of the family couldn't.”
“And the dark lord offers you a solution?” I asked.
“Yes.” he replied, confirming my theory. “He offers a reason for why squibs don't have magic. Those bloody mudbloods steal it from them. My father and brother deserve justice, Shine.”
“And what is the proof for that. The muggleborns that you call mudbloods have been abused for ages, too. They have their own issues. You are not the only one with problems. They have been bullied for ages. Do they not deserve justice?” I appealed the other side of the coin to him, trying to get the dust out of his eyes. He shook his head.
“No, they have no right to the magic they possess.” he growled angrily. He was blind with hate. There was no way to make him see sense.
“And what gives your father any right, but his magical ancestory?” I questioned, shifting my weight on one foot.
“Why are you with the dark lord if you don't believe in his theories?” he shot back a question I wasn't supposed to answer.
“I... I have my reasons.” I replied, defensively and shoved my hands back into my pockets. He smirked.
“Fels put you up to this, didn't she? I don't get it. She doesn't mins talking and being friends with you. And you are already a Death eater. And me? Am on my way. I still haven't taken the mark. But she won't even talk to me.” he spat angrily.
“That is because she loves you. The one we love is the one we get the most angry at.” I explained. He snorted.
“I didn't think you believed that shit, Shine.” he sneered. I smiled sheepishly.
“Well, what can I say. Now, I do. Time changes everything, Terry. Just give things some time. Don't take rash decisions.” I whispered slowly, but I was sure he heard me. He nodded.
“I will try, Snape. I will try.... but it's not that easy.”

                                *********************************

I entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next day. There standing at the end of Gryffindor table I noticed her for the first time in several months. Katie fucking Bell! Shit! I froze to my place, sweat pooling in my palms. My heart beat rapidly against my ribs, blood rushed to my ears and I couldn't hear the carefree chatter of Perry beside me. All I could hear was the waves of blood gushing in my ears like a sea at storm. All I could see was her, here in Hogwarts before our plan succeeded. The memory of smells and sights of Azkaban caused a reflux of the afternoon's lunch. I could taste the bacon, half digested in my mouth. My legs had turned to jelly and blood to slushie. A hundred thoughts whirled around in my head. She looked at me and smiled. I force curved my drooping lips up into a tiny smile. She looked pale, with dark circles under her eyes but alive and normal and with perfect memory.
I looked at Draco at the Slytherin table. He too was watching Potter talk to her. Our faces definitely mirrored expressions. The little colour had drained from his already pale face. He looked just as confused as me. I looked back at Katie and I saw Harry looking at me. His eyes narrowed in suspicion at the matching expression on mine and Draco's faces.
I gulped to soothe my dry throat. Draco got up from his place and exited the Great Hall. Harry followed him out. I knew I should follow them. He would obviously confront the poor boy. But I was too scared. I couldn't get my legs to move. I looked at the staff table. My eyes met Dad's and he got up to follow the two boys out.
Slowly I walked away to the table and sat down. I drank a glass of water trying to cool off my nerves. I took a few deep breaths.
None of the three had returned even after ten minutes had passed. I got up to follow them out.
I walked out of the Great Hall to realise I had no idea where they had headed off. But as far as I knew Draco, he would be in Myrtle's bathroom. I was hoping they didn't come to a duel. It wasn't like my potion would be damaged. Right now it was under my bed in thirty small vials. But I was afraid for Draco. Six years of grudge and free reign of hormones meant one boy could kill the other. Draco wasn't weak. But he wasn't in the best position to concentrate and win the duel.
I didn't realise when my brisk pace turned into a run, till I pushed the door of the bathroom ajar to be met by an exploding toilet. I screamed as bit of glass, wood and ceramic flew everywhere. I pulled out my own wand just as red and purple lights lit up the room. Water was flowing freely on the floor, flooding it. I moved ahead, sloshing through it.
“Sectumsempera.” I heard Harry shout. Before I could do anything, deep gashes appeared across Draco's body as if someone had slashed him with a sword. Everything occurred next as if in slow motion. He fell to the floor, gagging, blood flowing freely from his torso, staining the white tiles. My head was spinning watching all that blood flowing freely on the wet bathroom floor.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I swore continously under my breath as if that would help. I knew the spell, I knew the counter curse but I couldn't clear my head enough to work. Myrtle's screams of bloody murder were hurting my ears and in sank to the floor beside him. Harry himself looked pretty shocked, as if he couldn't believe what he had done.
“V-vulnearum santow- santuer.” I tried but the spell failed. The door burst open again and Dad strode in. He ignored Harry for once and started working on the counter curse, muttering the incantation under his breath. The wounds healed and sealed themselves while I watched.
“I think I will take him up to the hospital wing.” I offered. He nodded and stood up to deal with Potter.