Shine woke up feeling bile rise in her throat. She was looking very green and her eyes were red and swollen with dark circles under them. She had a night full of nightmares. Sure the ones of last night were better than the nightmares she usually encountered but they still didn't let her sleep right.

She ran a hand through the nest of messed up tangles over her head. Her forehead had cold sweat and pools of sweat formed in her palms. Vega snored lightly on the other bed. Shine rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her causing her to wake up screaming about owl post bombs. She looked around and realised it was just a dream then frowned and crossed her legs sitting up.

“That was a nice dream you just disturbed.” she muttered running a hand through her tresses so similar to her sister's and yet longer, different.

“Maybe you have forgotten, but today is the day the owls drop a bomb. Your OWL result.” Shine informed her, smiling bitterly, the bile rising up her throat yet again. Vega's eyes widened for a moment.

“Please tell me you didn't wake me up for that.” she groaned. Shine shrugged feeling her face becoming greener.

“That was such a nice dream.” Vegs cried. “And you woke me up for something as stupid as results!”

Shine ran to the toilet to throw up and locked the door from inside. She hunched up over it all last night's dinner coming out. Vega knocked from outside hearing the retching noises.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to come in?” she asked. Shine mutely shook her head feeling yet another bout of nausea. She threw up yet again.

“No don't come in. You don't want to see this.” she muttered trying to breathe normally as she stood back up straight and flushed it down. She cleaned up the mess and rinsed her mouth and opened up from inside.

“Wow you are sick!” Vega grimaced sitting on the bed. “Let's go down. Remus should be able to fix you.” She got up and they went down. Vega holding her carefully, putting a hand behind her to support her despite Shine telling her it wasn't essential.

They went and sat down at the table. Kreacher served up boiled eggs. The smell of the eggs would have been enticing but it made the bile rise up again. Shine gulped down water to control the urge to vomit. She stared blankly out the kitchen window. Two black blobs were visible in the distance, growing larger. Birds?

OWLS!! The result bringing birds. Shine freaked out jumping out the chair to reach for the window. She started jumping around singing 'That's it I am gonna,fail.' and going round the kitchen, her face stark white with fear. The owls landed and one held out his leg for her to untie letters.

Shine's fingers fumbled with the laces as she untied the letters from the owl's leg. The owl held out patiently and then flew away. Shine picked up her result and rippers it open. A thin roll of parchment fell out of her fumbling hands. Shine reached to pick it with trembling fingers but a pale hand shot out to grab it before her. She turned to look at Sirius with puppy dog eyes.

“Please Sirius, just give it back.” she begged her emerald green eyes widening in fear and anticipation. Sirius grinned and unfurled the roll.

“Oh Merlin! How can you do so much worse! Even my result was better than this.” he growled disappointment seeping into his voice. Shine snatched back the result to take a look for herself. She certainly couldn't fail everything. Right?

Her eyes quickly scanned the open page. Four O's, three E's, three A's. Her eyes popped out of their sockets. An Outstanding in Herbology. Merlin's mother's sweet knickers! Herbology!In Transfiguration, Potions and Occlumency the O's were expected. She couldn't believe herself. The Exceeds expectations in Defence against the dark arts and Charms was however a little disappointing. But that couldn't cover the best part. A freaking O in Herbology!

“I got an O! An O in Herbology! And a freaking O in four subjects!!” she shouted jumping up and down hysterically in joy. Sirius laughed his bark like laughter.

“Sure you did. Now have some breakfast and-” he turned to Vega. “Why do you look so sad?”

“I scored only an E in Herbology. It's my best subject! Which idiot checked the papers?” she fumed throwing down her result in anger. Shine picked it up. Vega had scored better than her. Five O's. Runes, Transfiguration, Charms, Arithmancy, Defence against the dark arts. Two E's, one in Herbology and the other in Potions. Two A's, one in Astronomy and the other in Divination.

“And yet your final result is much better than mine.” Shine looked at her.

“No, it's bloody hell not!” she screamed sitting at the table and stuffing buttered toast into her mouth. “I can't take up Newt Potions. I can't become an Auror!” That hit Shine straight in the stomach, hard as if a heavy stone was dropped down her throat. She perfectly understood that sentiment.

“Oh!” she stood dumbfounded. She looked at Sirius for help. He shrugged.

“We can talk to Severus. Or Dumbledore. He will have to take you in, love.” he proposed, putting an arm around her shoulder. Vega angrily jerked it away.

“That git wouldn't listen. You know that well and so do I. Stop trying to give me false hopes, Sirius. Please.” Vega got up angrily and left.

“Do you think I should follow her up?” Shine turned to Sirius. He shook his head no.

“Let her cool down for a bit.” he said coolly sitting down to open the other two letters with her. There was a loud slamming noise. Shine glanced in the direction of the stairs, shrugged and ripped open another letter with the book list.

                                        *********************

Vega remained in a horrible mood over the entire day. Shine wished to push her and Harry in a room with Witherwings, Sirius' pet hippogriff. The three could have fun competing with their grumpy expressions. The first one to let go of the expressions was Harry, surprisingly enough for Shine. He accepted the fact that Ron and Hermione were the new prefects. Not him and Hermione.

He took it pretty well in stride, unlike her. She had thrown quite a tantrum last year. While Vega sat grumpily at the party table. The banner about the new prefects right behind her. Fred and George sat beside Shine making jokes, making her and Ginny laugh, while Vega snapped and mocked them about the poor quality of jokes and shot angry looks at them. Shine was literally a hair's breadth from losing her temper when Lupin came in. Somehow his presence calmed her. She got up, he hugged her and they went out the kitchen into the back yard. A glance out showed her clearly throwing a tantrum over the result while he comforted her. Shine gulped down her happy, relieved tears and was back to the party. The two soon came back in and Vega joined in in the fun. Lupin winked at her and got back into adult talks.

But that distracted her. When was the last time she had shared a similarly intimate moment with her father? She couldn't remember. After coming to stay at Grimmauld Shine couldn't remember a day when she had talked properly to him. Especially over the last one month. She saw him at the meetings. But he would never wait.

He always had to run. Even when she called after him, he had to run away. He had to apparate away leaving her on the front porch in the rain, looking like an idiot. The words frozen in her throat, the anger seething in her veins as she watched the black cloak disappear. She knew not what he was running from or what he was running to, but she was determined to know. And now, after watching the interaction between Lupin and Vega, with the green eyed monster tearing her inside, she was even more determined to know. She was really angry at him. Why would he not talk to her? What had she done wrong?

Shine stabbed the pepperoni with a fork, dipped it in hot sauce unconsciously and put it in her mouth. She did it yet again and again until a scream rattled her world. Shook her back to consciousness. The screams of Mrs. Weasley echoed through the Black house, bringing her back to her senses. She drooped the fork and ran up the stairs. Lying on the floor was the dead body of Mr. Weasley. Harry and Mrs. Weasley stared helplessly at it. Shine moved forward. It changed form. The features sharpened, the nose lengthened and became hook shaped, the black eyes looked blankly, coldly up at the ceiling, the hair turned greasy and black. Severus Snape lay dead at her feet.

Shine's eyes widened in fear and then in realisation as the shuffling of feet behind her, people running up the stairs asking each other what happened brought her back to her senses. She calmly brought up her wand and pointed it at the dead body when Lupin stepped forward. The body turned into a full moon, slowly revealed behind clouds.

“Riddikulus.” he uttered the spell very calmly. The moon turned to a ball, a white bouncing ball and bounced off. She wasn't supposed to use her wand, outside school. That was why Remus stepped forward. She gulped remembering the scene in front of her, minutes before. It could never come true. Not till she was alive. She would never allow that to happen. She couldn't.

Remus went back to comforting Mrs. Weasley. “What would happen if me and Arthur were to die? Who would look after Ron and Ginny?” she asked. Shine frowned.

“What do you think we would do? Let them starve?” Remus questioned back, bringing a smile to her face. Shine smiled involuntarily. Nothing bad was going to happen. Not this year, not ever.

                                 ***************************

The night went just as Shine feared, not being able to catch a single wink. She felt alert all the time, with all the coffee, she made Kreacher prepare at the ungodly hour. It was six in the morning and her twenty third cup of coffee, when Sirius found her in the kitchen, staring blankly ahead at the wall, sipping coffee. Her eyes drooped almost close but she resisted the urge to sleep. The waking world was far better than her nightmares where she murdered everyone.

“Did you ever go upstairs?” he asked looking questioningly at Kreacher, indirectly directing the question at him.

“Mistress woke Kreacher up at two in the night after a particularly distressing nightmare, Kreacher has been up with mistress, making coffee since.” he replied. Sirius nodded and the elf took his leave. Shine took a look at the concerned expression on Sirius' face.

“Are you going to tell me why you finished the day's supply of coffee alone?” he asked calmly. Shine's hands were shivering now. The caffeine was a mistake. A complete mistake. She should have just gone to sleep, endured the nightmares.

“I think I need to pee.” she said getting up and running off in the general direction of the closest bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging off the wall. Loose wisps of her hair all frizzy and going off in every direction, her eyes red rimmed with dark circles clearly visible against her pale skin, which looked oddly flushed. Her lips were a pale pink. Her hands shook in tremors as she touched her face. She certainly wasn't any embodiment of beauty, at least not at the moment.

Shine splashed cold water over her face, waking her up even more. Sleep was literally over due. She walked down to the kitchen and sat down on the chair, she had earlier occupied and made a grab for her cup of coffee but Sirius snatched it out of her reach.

“And you were telling me why you finished a day's supply of my coffee...” he said sipping her coffee. She did not say anything, just stared back hungrily at the cup, in response. “And am waiting for your reply.” he elaborated getting up and starting to pace, calmly sipping her coffee, mocking her. Her head hurt with the desperation for her cup of black coffee.

“I... I was scared. I thought if I sleep I would have to face the nightmares. It's now I realise, the nightmares are better than this headache.”

“What nightmares?” he asked draining the last of the coffee down the sink. Shine stared at it open mouthed as it went down and then went to glaring at him. “What nightmares, Shine?” he repeated the question coming to sit in front of her and leaning back in his chair. Shine slumped forward muttering about coffee wasting monkeys.

“Nightmares that bring much bitter taste to my throat than that precious coffee which you just threw down the effing drain.” she growled angrily, causing the head ache to increase. He slouched forward and joined his fingertips.

“I am all ears.” he replied. Shine sighed loudly.

“I see everyone dead. Dad, you, Fred, George, in short, everyone is dead, but those who should be dead, aren't. And it's me shouting the Killing curse. It's my wand that shoots the green light. It's my wand that causes death, it's my arm branded with the dark mark. And it's me that Voldemort stands behind, cackling, his cold, cruel, high pitched laughter.” she finished in a whisper. “Done?”

Sirius looked visibly paler. His face had lost all colour. He stared at Shine as if desperately wishing what she said was a lie when the door burst open to their right.

“C'mon go get ready or you will miss the train!” Mrs. Weasley freaked out, looking much like her original avatar, unlike the broken woman, Shine saw yesterday. Shine gave her a bitter smile and got up to go and get ready.