“Er, Shine..." Sirius hesitated at first. Shine was having not much progress with the lessons from Mr. Khan. It was the most horrific thing that ever happened to her, having someone access the worst memories, her worst fears and having no control over her brain. It was the first time Shine had to experience this and it was worse than she thought possible. She looked up from her alchemy notes detailing the philosopher's stone, it's properties and ways to recreate it. “Come with me for a moment. I have something to show you." She raised an eyebrow at his excited expression but did not get a response. “It's a kind of late gift for your birthday." he sighed. Shine grinned and got up.

He led her through the door to the left of the kitchens. A narrow passageway led to the in house garage. Three brooms were arranged against the wall. Two bikes were parked. One black Harley and the other an electric blue Ducati. The bikes looked well maintained and oiled.

“Erm Sirius... where's my gift?" she asked softly, her face scrunching up in confusion. Sirius went to stand near the blue bike and patted it's black leather seat.

“This used to be your mother's." he smiled fondly. “I modified it, added a few modifications like the flying gear and dragon breath boost and well it's ready for you." he smiled proud of himself but the confused look on Shine's face increased. She had no idea how to drive a bike. No idea how to handle those metal monsters with all those knobs and buttons. She looked between the bike and Sirius trying her best to look excited.

“That's great! Really amazing.." she said uncertainly in a strangled voice.

“You don't like it." he stated flatly, the disappointment in his voice was clear. She looked up at Sirius and sighed.

“It's not that. It's just... I don't know how to... well, I don't know how to drive a bike. It's not much use other than display purpose to me." she replied hesitantly. Sirius started laughing.

“Is that all? That's no problem. I expected the snivelling greasy git wouldn't. I could teach you, if you like." he grinned. Shine's eyes lit up.

“You would teach me?" she asked. He nodded. “I would love that Sirius. Merlin! I love you." she squealed hugging him tight. He hugged her back engulfing her in his warmth, feeling truly happy after a long time.

“That means a lot, Sirius. Thank you." she whispered hugging him tighter. He patted her head and ruffled her hair.

                       ****************************

It was easy to let go of Fred. It is always easy to let go of what is not yours. But it's never easy to let go of what is yours. Shine had trouble letting go of Vlad. But she let him go and he did come back. He was hers, sure he was. She missed him, missed the comfortable safety of his strong arms. But she couldn't be selfish. She couldn't have him going the Diggory way. Shifting on her stomach she felt for her wand on the nightstand.

The wand of elderwood looked beautiful in the nightstand light. Shine twirled it to look at the ancient engravings. She figured they were runes. But she never took ancient runes. Now that she thought of it she should have. She rubbed her wand carefully in an attempt to rid it of the fingerprint marks.

The Weasleys would arrive tomorrow, she thought sighing. Taking a look at the clock with glow in dark numbers she saw the time. Three thirty in the morning and she wasn't the least bit sleepy. Diggory kept haunting her dreams. She kept seeing his face change to Mir and then to her father and then Fred and George lay dead. And every time it was her wand that shot the Killing curse. It was her voice that spoke the words. It was her that had the dark mark on her arm.,It was her that killed them. She woke up with a start every time.

She couldn't kill them. She couldn't kill the people she loved most. She couldn't join him.

But did she have a choice? Yes, she sure had a choice. Dumbledore took it from her. The moment he asked her father to join Voldemort her choice was taken from her. She cursed the old man swearing under her breath. He obviously knew what his actions would lead to and yet he didn't stop to think.

She literally hated Albus Dumbledore. She wasn't yet seventeen. Four more months and she would be. She couldn't use magic out of school. She figured last night what might help to stabilise fluxweed. The fins of the gausswelder. They would have to experiment with that. But there was the problem of addiction.

Shine had met an interesting character in the Order. Mundungus Fletcher. Everyone called him dung. The short, stout man was on Potter watch duty tonight. Shine had volunteered to do that. Dumbledore said he would think of it.

Mundungus Fletcher was one guy who smoked that to enhance his mental capability. Shine didn't notice much difference, he didn't seem too bright to her. He asked her father. He sneered and told her there sure was a lot of difference. She found that hard to believe though she let that go. She took yet another look at the clock. Four, and she wasn't yet the least bit sleepy.

She sighed and got some sleep potion out of closet by the bedside. She poured three times the normal dose in a silver goblet and downed the sweet numbing liquid. The drowsiness took over her senses almost immediately. She lay back down on the pillow escaping into a dream world that was safer than her own.

                      ****************************

“Who's on the team of Weasley security?" Sirius drawled lazily in the morning. Shine shrugged. Her shoulder hurt from the fall earlier in the morning, practising her chor power control. She hit it hard flying back at the metal door in the attic, trying to resist the physical control.

“Kingsley, Snape, Moody, Remus and Dedalus." Tonks answered.

“Why is Snivellus on the security? I had volunteered. “Why am I not on the team?" he grumbled. Shine snickered.

“Dumbledore's orders for your own safety." Tonks replied.

“Whatever." he muttered rolling his eyes. He pushed a hand through his messy bedhead. “Kreacher! Get me my breakfast. And do not poison it." he ordered. The house elf poked his nose out of the small cave it had inhabited. Grumbling and muttering cuss words under his breath he prepared Sirius' breakfast.

“Aren't you teaching me to drive today?" Shine asked. His face lit up suddenly with childlike glee.

“ 'Course." he smiled. “I promise it would be fun."

“Driving is dangerous business with all those complicated knobs and buttons and stuff." Tonks provided. She got up and knocked her chair down accidentally. “Oh! Am really sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to make it fall." she straightened it up. An owl flew in at the kitchen window and screeched loudly startling her out of her skin, her hair getting streaks of gray in the bubblegum pink she jumped knocking the umbrella stand down. Shine laughed at her antics.

“That nasty bird! Whose is it?" she asked rubbing her bum and picking up the umbrella stand as well.

“Harry's owl, Hedwig." Sirius got up to open the window and take the letter from the owl. The owl flew in to hold out three letters. One was written to Sirius. The other two to Ron and Hermione. Shine stroked the snowy owl's beautiful white feathers earning a sharp peck on her index finger.

“Ow!" she groaned pulling back her bleeding hand. Tonks changed her hair colour to electric blue. 

“Let me look at that." she said pulling out her wand. Shine held out her hand as she performed a simple cleansing and healing spell. Both the girls glared at the bird.

“Harry is growing desperate. He wants information on what is going on." Sirius informed them breaking them out of their shooting angry look at the owl competition. The look of concern on his face was something unknown to Shine. That look came on his face only when Harry was the reason. He never cared as much for her, Shine thought contemptuously.

“Then give him the answers. What does it matter?" Shine asked annoyed at being bitten.

“Can't." Sirius replied frowning. “Dumbledore says letters can be intercepted. Harry can't know anything unless he's here and he's safer with the muggles." he sighed. Shine scrunched up her face frowning at the bird.

“I don't get it. How can he not be safe here? This is the Order headquarters for Merlin's sake!"

“Why don't you go ask Dumbledore?" Sirius snapped, suddenly annoyed.

“Don't take that tone with me." she snapped back narrowing her eyes. Tonks was watching the exchange between them get heated. “Just because Harry's not here thanks to Dumbledore doesn't give you any right to snap at me." She took a deep breath trying to calm herself, to stop herself before she blurted out those jealous feelings.

“What is your problem with Harry?" he asked. Shine took another deep breath downing a glass of water. “He's so much more than you. He's better in every aspect. He's Gryffindor. He's better at Quidditch-"

“When have you even watched me play? As for Gryffindor, where were you when I was a kid. Stinking in Azkaban? I was raised by Severus Snape. I was raised to respect Slytherin. You are just like your mother. All you ever care about is Harry James Potter. Do you ever even think about me? No! God, all the time it's Harry this, James that." she spat angrily. “Harry is better than you. He's a Gryffindor, Shine. What are you a stinky Slytherin? He's better at Quidditch." she imitated his voice. “Oh! Go cry me an ocean Sirius Black. I bloody hell don't care. I can't be as perfect as your precious Potter. I am sorry I can't be James. Cause the problem is not me, it's you. You don't want to accept that he is dead. James Potter is dead. Don't you bloody well get it? This is Harry, not James. James, your bestfriend is dead!" her voice rose with every syllable.

Sirius slammed his fist on the table. “I don't need you to remind me of that." he spat. “If it wasn't for Snivelly hearing that prophecy and reciting it to his master he would still be alive!" Shine flinched at the tone and his volume.

“Don't you dare blame him." she got up to argue. Kreacher came out and laid the breakfast in front of Sirius. Sirius got up as well kicking back his chair in anger so it fell to the floor with a bang.

“He is a snivelling greasy git." he replied smugly. Shine growled. “You are so much like your mother, defending that good for nothing bastard."

“Good for nothing! What are you then?" Shine sneered softly. “You are worse than him. Remaining holed up in this old ancestral home of granny when you were in fact thrown out at sixteen. Not being any use to the Order for missions cause you officially murdered your bestfriend and his wife. And how can I forget? You are even charged with the murder of my mother!" she roared. Sirius was visibly angry, he was white as parchment and his eyes were all red and bulging. He grit his teeth and closed the distance between them, going around the table taking swift strides, pulling out his wand as he went.

“You are exactly like James Potter. You are both jobless idiots-" but her throat constricted next moment and she couldn't say another word.

“Sirius!" Tonks gasped in shock as his lip curled in pure loathing and he pressed the wand to Shine's carotid.

“You- will- not- insult- James- Potter- in- front- of- me." he hissed slowly, dangerously. Shine glared back defiantly. “Do that ever again and I will make sure you can't talk again. You understand?" Shine could feel her hands trembling in anger. She clenched them into fists so tight her knuckles went white.

“I hate you." she whispered back so softly he barely heard her. “I hate you Sirius Black. I regret my mother's choice of you." she shouted storming out of the kitchen to the room assigned to her on the third floor.

                        ***************************

The room was all messed up. The previous owner's possessions were still in the closet neatly arranged just beside a small mess of Shine's. Her eyes roamed the floor to search for her arrows. She slowly started sharpening and adding double edges to each arrow. The silver metal, Duramist molded with difficulty.

As she used the sharpener to strike yet again, she cut her thumb. It started bleeding but she continued. She continued to strike the blade and remove any bluntness for fifteen minutes, by the end of which her fingers bore evidence of several injuries, minor and big. The pain was strangely satisfying. The thick red liquid oozing from the numerous injuries excited her. This was her punishment for existing, for being born to a father who could never love her as he was only concerned about the Boy-who-lived. She picked up a clean white paper towel and dabbed it to her injuries. The towel became red within minutes. Keeping it wrapped she searched for some bandages. She found some in a drawer along with some kind of ointment. Shine smelled it. It was a sweet and dizzying scent. Shine recognised it from her several visits to Mungo's.

She ran to the bathroom and let cold water flow over the injuries. Applying some ointment she tied the bandages tight enough to allow blood flow but bleeding stopped. She heard some commotion downstairs. Opening the door she peered down the stairs to see seven fiery red headed people. Each of them carried a broomstick and were accompanied by the rest of the Order. Shine spotted Fred and George and ran down the three flights of stairs.

She tackled the two into a hug and smiled politely at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. She grinned at Ron and Ginny. “So, how's Katie?" she nudged Fred. Fred rolled his eyes and George snickered.

“They are great together Georgie-porjie, don't laugh." Shine mock scolded tutting. They both snickered and Fred rolled his eyes again.

“She's nice. A little jealous of you being my best friend, but I guess she will get over it." he replied. Shine smiled apologetically.

“I am sorry Fred. I was all confused about my emotions and I kind of fell for the confusion."

“Yea, I know. It's fine really." he replied hugging her lightly. I searched the room for Dad.He was supposed to be on Weasley protection squad tonight. So where was he? My eyes scanned the room.

“So how was Dad? He collected you, right?" Shine asked smirking. Fred nodded.

“He was okay, you know. Not better than everyday. But I guess that's him, I shouldn't have expected better now that he's in the Order." George answered just as she spotted her father sulking in one corner as everyone mixed in with each other and discussed stuff.

“I will see you guys later." she smiled and walked to the lonely man sipping fiery orange liquid from a glass.

“Ah, Severus! How are you?" she whispered softly in a hissy voice, startling him so much he jumped about half a foot in the air.

“You!" he sighed in relief clutching his heart. Shine chuckled. The cold, hissy, whispery voice was a result of lot of practice. “You scared me to hell."

“How was your journey?" she asked trying not to laugh.

“Good enough if you don't consider the freezing to the broom." he replied flexing his fingers and taking another sip of his firewhisky. “That idiot Moody almost made us journey via Iceland, I will bet on that."  Shine chuckled, surely Moody wasn't crazy enough to do that!

“Whatever Dad." she muttered waving her hand off handedly. He caught her wrist right where she had a cut. Pain shot through like sharp arrows causing her to hiss in pain.

“What happened to your hands?" he asked. Shine shook her head to say no, gritting her teeth to keep from screaming as his grip tightened.

“It's nothing." she managed to hiss between gritted teeth with effort.

“Nothing?" he cocked up a single eyebrow. “Why are you bleeding, then?" he hissed. Shine bit her tongue in response.

Red droplets had oozed to the surface staining the snow white bandages. “I er, I was polishing the weapons." she replied.

“And you cut yourself? I prouded myself in thinking you knew your stuff." he replied.

“Yes I do. It's just, I wasn't careful enough this time." she tried to get her hand out of his grip, squirming. It sure hurt a lot where he was holding tight. “Just let go, Dad you are hurting me." her voice broke with the pain and emotional frustration.

He let go immediately on spotting the wetness in her large eyes. “What happened?" he asked softly. Shine hesitated.

“Nothing happened, Dad. It's just hurts when you find you aren't supposed to exist." she muttered the last part under her breath but he heard.

“Who said that to you?" he growled angrily his frame trembling with anger. “BLACK!" he roared. Sirius walked out of the kitchen calmly. Gramma Black started shrieking about all the filth in her house. Sirius shut her up.

“Snivellus! There is no need to shout. My hearing ability is perfectly fine." he greeted coldly. Everyone had turned to look at the two men now.

“You listen to me and carefully Black. You have done enough damage with me and you have no right to damage her in or in any way make her feel inferior-"

“She's my daughter and I know how to treat her right. I don't need you to teach me." Sirius interrupted coldly. Severus Snape pulled out his wand swiftly closing the distance between them. Sirius' hand went in his pocket to reach his wand.

“She's not. And it would do you good if you get it through that shaggy black head of yours." he growled poking the wand under his chin without giving him a chance to draw his wand. “You hurt my daughter one more time Black and the consequences won't be good." He turned and walked out of the house, his cloak billowing with his swift strides, slamming the door behind him.