Around a month had passed and life had turned routine. I needed some new form of entertainment. The tryouts had happened and Flint was going crazy about the practices. He wanted to defeat Gryffindor atleast this one year. They had been winning for the past two years because of the seeker. Harry Potter. These guys had better brooms. I guess the guy is actually talented.  

It was now October. Haloween to be precise. It was raining. I hate rains. I love the snow. I love thunderstorms though. I hate it only when it drizzles softly. Its got no fun to it. I gave Lee a polite smile as I passed him in the corridor. He smiled back. Fred had stopped badgering me about who I have a crush on and if I have a crush on him just recently.  

It was a Saturday and I had to get to a detention with Flitwick for setting off dungbombs in his desk where he kept the test papers. Dear old shortie, Flitwick jumped so high in the air I had thought it impossible for him. I was to do lines. 

I turned a corner. I hugged my zebra stripes knit sweater closer as a cold wind blew. There was no one in the corridors. Everyone was in Hogsmeade. I guess Lee has detention or he too wont be here. I looked up from my red sneakers and saw Fred. His arms,were wrapped around a dark haired beauty. Her hair was thick silky straight and was pushed back with a headband. Her skin had a russet brown tan. She looked athletic. I guess I have seen her with the Gryffindors during practice. Alicia Spinnet.  

His arms roamed all over her and they inched in closer. I felt a small green eyed monster gnawing at my heart. And I guess it surprised me. Why the heck would I be jealous? No I dont think it is 'the green eyed monster'. It was something else. I walked away even as I clenched my fists fastening the velcro of my gloves chanting 'I dont want a Vladmir repeat.' as I walked. 

I reached detention. Flitwick made me do lines today. He had made me clean the drawer without magic yesterday. I say the lines was brainless work and I would have been glad had he told me to do something physical without magic. Because my thoughts kept trailing to Fred. And this wasnt good.  

I decided I would avoid him. I knew that would help. And then Fred wasnt my boyfriend. He wasnt even a crush. Maybe a few days of not talking to him would help me sort out my head. Sort out my feelings. Maybe... 

I was soon done with lines and I decided to walk back to the commons but the others wont be back. And I did not want to be alone. I knew I would just overthink the situation and make a wrong decision. I was on a desserted third floor corridor. I passed a lonely broom cupboard. It shook as I passed. I stopped. Must be Peeves. He cant scare me that easily. I decided to open the broom cupboard and see for myself. I pulled out my wand and red sparks shot from it as I muttered "Alohomora."  

The door opened with a creak and out stepped Sirius Black. But something was wrong. His face was shifting alternating with another female face. 

"You. You are responsible for her death." he accused me pointing a long bony finger at me.  

Suddenly the feminine features became clearer. It morphed a woman. She looked a lot like me. But she still looked a lot different. "You are a monster. You sucked my life force out of me. You are the reason I am dead." said the woman. Her body was badly mutilated. Blood flowed freely through her injuries.  

"Mom?" I asked confused. "No mom I did not. I did rather never exist than have you dead. I did not murder you." She morphed back into Black. :"Oh but you did." he mused a cruel smirk playing on his lips.  

"You are a murderer. Do I need to remind you of what you did last year? Vladmir Volkov died almost because of you. And you would have killed him had the poor boy not recieved help on time." he taunted. 

"You will be responsible for the death of everyone you care about. Snivellus, the Weasley boy, Serafina, Adrian." he sang. 

"No I wont be. Shut up." I screamed. 

"Yes you will. You will kill them all." he hissed. 

"Shut up." I muttered pointing my wand at him but not looking at him. 

"Oh really! Should I?" a voice asked and I looked up to see me. My hair disshevelled. My eyes darker. A smirk playing on my lips. "You cant run from the truth Shine. How far will you go? It will catch up eventually." 

"You are not me go away." I shouted.  

"But we are the same. Am just your reflection. Exactly what you are. A fainter echo maybe. But you, all the same." I whispered. 

"No you are not. Go away. Stupefy." I said. But 'I' just floated up in the air. I opened my arms and gold and black particles swirled around me. The red light compressed into a ball and burst into the particles joining them. 'I' sneered down at myself. "You think that would defeat me? You need to accept what you are. Know what you can do."  

I morphed back into my father. "Choose the right side. I know you will. My blood runs in you-" he said but I stepped ahead and punched him square in the jaw.  

"I SAID SHUT THE GOD DARN UP." I shouted loudly as,i took him down with my punches still screaming insults and swearing. The classroom door behind me opened and someone pulled me back. 

"Let me go." I screamed. "I am nothing like you. I would never commit a murder unless essential. Let me go. I wanna murder him. I want to murder that stupid sperm donor." I screamed but the person had a strong grip on my upper arms. 

"Shine calm down." Lupin said in a slightly shocked tone.  

He moved forward leaving his grip on me. And it morphed into the moon. The full moon. He pulled out his wand and muttered "Riddikulus." and it turned into a crystal ball. He forced it back into the cupboard. And closed it in. 

I fell to my knees and silent tears started flowing from my eyes. I wiped them off. I dont know how to describe the feeling other than helpless. I felt broken. Useless. I was nothing. What that boggart said was true. I was hopeless. Evil blood flowed through me. My genetic makeup listed me as one of the darkest creature to walk earth. And I had already proven that point. I still shudder to think what would have happened had Vlad not been taken to the hospital wing on time. I had badly injured him. My mom. I was responsible for her death. I was to be blamed. I had no reason to exist. 

Lupin put an arm around me. He pulled me to my feet. "C'mon lets get you to the infirmary." he whispered but I shook my head.  

"You need it." he explained.  

"I dont. I dont deserve to be shown kindness or respect. Leave me alone. Please." I mumbled in barely more than a whisper even as my voice broke. 

"Lets get you to Severus atleast." he said unsure of what to do. He wont leave me alone after what he saw. I was sure of it. And I did not want to tell anyone that I was incapable of dealing with a Boggart on my own. I shook my head. 

"Lets go to my office then." he suggested again. I considered it. It sounded like a good option to me. I nodded. He started walking and I dragged on my feet behind him. He sat me down in the chair opposite his desk. It wasnt exactly soft but it was comfortable. His desk was oak and the furniture was mainly maple and brass. 

I looked round for anything and everything that would distract my thoughts. I observed every tiny detail. Even the dragon carving on the brass drawer handles. They were impressive. Really good taste. I must say I know where that man spends his money. Furnishings.  

He poured out tea for both of us in delicate china cups that had an interrsting shape. The tea tasted amazing. The flavour was good. Cardamom and ginger mixed in the flavour of tea. I guess I was wrong. This man spends money on everything but robes.  

"Now if you dont mind. What happened?" he asked the easiest question to answer after noticing I had calmed considerably. 

"I was walking back from detention. And the cupboard shook. I thought it was Peeves trying to scare me. So I opened the door. Out stepped Black. I guess it was a boggart." I mumbled but he picked up what I said. 

"Okay. I guess that was the easiest question. Why did you call him sperm donor?" he asked me calmly. I smiled.  

"That is for me to know and you to figure out Prof." I smirked. 

"He is your father?" he asked. "Maybe." I said frowning. 

"So that makes Drew your mother! And I thought the two were in a live in so they would take precautions at least till they are married." he mused. 

"You knew my mom?" I asked. 

"Yeah I mean I was friends with your father." he said it as if it was the next most obvious thing after the fact that dragons breathe fire. And he went into a trance thinking of the happier past maybe. I clicked my fingers in front of his eyes and he snapped out of it.  

"Oh! Sorry. I got lost in my thoughts. No one had thought Sirius would betray the two of you." he mumbled dreamily. I raised an eyebrow at that.  

"If you are okay now you may go. And dont open anymore cupboards. Or do you want me to walk you back to Severus?" he asked but I shook my head. "No thanks. I will go roam the castle." 

"Shine, you are not like him. Trust me. You will never betray your best friend. And he was a Gryffindor. You are a Slytherin." he said as I got up. 

"Exactly my point. That makes me worse than him. Or maybe as bad as him at least. That makes me like my aunt Bellatrix." I replied. 

"No. It doesnt. Believe in yourself. You know you wont hurt them. You are afraid you would. That is what will stop you. Your fear." he told me with a sad smile. And I left his office to go back to the commons. 

I went up to the dorm and got my herbology book. It was still two hours before the others would be back. I decided a litte reading of my least fav subject would help me score later on. I took the book and saw that the only people in the commons were midgets (first and second years). I rolled my eyes at them before heading out the cave hole in the dungeons that led to the commons.  

I decided to go and sit near the Black lake and read the chapter on gillyweed. I reached the birch tree that grew beside the lake and sat under it. I opened my book and started reading the chapter.  

Needless to say I soon got distracted and I put down my book as I sat observing the calm surface of the lake. Occasionally the squid would put out its tentacles and disturb the surface. I was lost in watching the patterns of ripples that the falling leaves created so I did not notice as an ugly orange cat crept up to me. It picked the herbology book that I had kept beside me and its furry tail brushed my hand. I bit my tongue to stop shouting in shock. And I saw the same scene in the crystal ball repeating. The cat ran off with my book. "Hey wait! Give me back my book. Not that I care but I dont want a detention." I screamed after it before I transformed. The cat ran up to the whomping willow. I knew it would have to stop now. But a large black dog appeared out of nowhere. I gasped as I realised it to be the Grim. Trelawney wasnt lying. But the cat could see it too. It did not matter to her. So maybe it was just a normal dog.  

A growl rose up my throat. And so did the dog's. Our eyes locked and we bared our teeth. In the meanwhile the stupid cat climbed up the tree. I thought it was going to leave my book up there so I made to go after it but the dog jumped in between and growled at me. The hair rising on ends. The ears standing up. The eyes bloodshot. Drool flowing freely as it prepared for its bite and displayed the deadly canines. I jumped back one step. The tree suddenly stopped moving and the cat entered a tunnel. The dog followed the cat and I stood there frozen to the spot in shock. That cat had my book. And the dog was its bodygaurd. No problem I was the grizzly. What is a dog to me? I thought and entered the tunnel. 

I reached the end of the tunnel and reached a kind of home. A home? What the heck? And I thought I knew every corner of Hogwarts. I moved in carefully not turning back into human form. The furniture was messed up. A staircase went up to a floor above. A broken chair stood in the middle of the room where I stood. Its back had been bitten off by the looks of it. The hair on my neck stood on end. My ears shot up as I entered fully aware of the stupid danger I was putting myself into. And all this just because I needed the herbology book. I hate herbology even more now. 

I sniffed the air and smelt the dirty musty air of the shack. But one scent stood out. Human scent. I whirled around and there stood Sirius Black. I yelped. Not another one of those boggarts. I transformed back to human form and whipped out my wand. I pointed it at him and muttered "Riddikulus." but nothing happened. He cocked his head to one side and raised one of his shaggy eyebrows.  

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked and I screamed in terror. My spell wont work and the Boggart had started talking.  

"Where the heck is that cat? I know you are not real. If I ignore you, you will disappear. I know that." I mumbled to myself and started calling out for the cat. "Here kitty, kitty. Come out. I wont harm you. C'mon. Come to mommy."  

Black was looking at me with amusement. "What are you doing?" he barked at me. "Go away. I know you are not real." I muttered and continued calling for the cat. Suddenly he caught my upper arm. His bony grip hurt. I tried to wriggle out of it. "Let me go you stupid Boggart." I screamed in his face and I smelt his dirty breath. He was real. Realization dawned upon me slowly and my throat went dry. My eyes widened and my scream constricted in my throat.  

I pulled away with as much force as I could manage and stumbled back. I landed on my bum and pulled out my wand. But in a flash of orange my wand was knocked out my hand and Black had it. The cat slashed viciously at my hand. I looked down to nurse it as I hissed in pain. He pointed it to me and my hands and feet were bound in ropes. I struggled against the ropes that he had conjured with my own wand and they tightenedand I winced. 

"Hello daughter." he whispered in my ear. I hissed. 

"Let. Me. Go. I am no daughter of yours." I shouted.  

"You will listen to me first." he snapped. 

"No I wont." I spat. "Now let me go." 

"So you can inform the dementors? Of course not." he growled in a low whisper.  

"If Dad finds out you hurt a hair on my head he will skin your sorry skin alive. Am warning you, you fool." I hissed in a low angry whisper.  

"Not likely. Remus isnt that voilent dahling." he said and dragged a chair to sit in front of me. The cat wound itself around his leg and he stroked its chin.  

"You bastard. Dont call me dahling. Lupin is not my father." I screamed struggling to get myself free. I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands. "How can you live with yourself?" I asked him and he looked mildly surprised. 

"What do you mean?" he asked. 

"You know very well what I mean." I smirked at him. "You got your sister to murder your own wife." I spat when he gave me a confused look. 

"Dont give me that look you stupid sperm donor." I hissed. 

"Wait. You believe the rumours?" he asked. 

"What rumours? I believe the truth. You peabrain. Dont you dare deny." I screamed. "I hope someone hears my screams." 

"Oh and what good would that do? You are in the 'Shrieking Shack'. People who hear will think it was the ghosts." he informed me. I gasped. I tried struggling again but they tightened further almost cutting into my skin. I winced at the pain. 

"Th- the Shrieking Shack? Are you mental? Its haunted." I screamed.  

"No. Its not. And if you would hear me out then you would know what I mean. Your perception would be entirely different. I swear. You just need to listen to me. Give me a chance to explain." he pleaded. 

The look in his eyes was sincere. I nodded and he started.