Keean didn't come to get me the next morning. I waited as long as I could and had to run to catch the bus on its return trip to the end of my suburb and back. Katie wasn't on the bus. I was in a massive panic and really wanted to talk to her. I couldn't understand why Keean hadn't come. All sorts of ideas ran through my head. I felt sick thinking he might have had an accident on the long drive in from Frances Creek. He could have gotten into a fight with one of the other boys in the centre. Or maybe it was because of yesterday afternoon. What if he thought I'd peed my pants and I was disgusting. I kept telling myself he would have known the truth of what it meant. I decided he must know what it meant and had stayed away because if he came near me today he might not have been able to stop, even if I said no. I smiled because this thought made me on cloud nine thinking he was so considerate. I'd give him a big hug when I saw him at school.

But he wasn't at school. The worry came back to me. I kept running different scenarios through my head.

Maybe his court hearing had been brought forward but it was Friday and I didn't know if they did those sorts of things on a Friday.

Maybe Louise didn't back him the other day when we cut.

Maybe he had been expelled.

I had Chemistry just before morning tea. At the end of class I waited until everyone had left and asked Mr. Davis if he knew why Keean was away. He shook his head. "No, Charlie, I don't. I thought you and he had something going."

I bit my lip. "Yeah, we do, but I can't ring him and he didn't say he was going to be away so I'm a bit worried."

"If I hear anything I'll let you know. Maybe his truck broke down." Mr. Davis shrugged. "He has a fair way to come and it is a piece of shit."

I laughed when he said this and felt reassured because it was a really logical reason that I hadn't thought of.

I went home on the bus by myself because Katie had gone with Chris. I felt pretty crappy and tossed and turned all night. I kept running all the scenarios through my head again and thought what if something had happened to him? What if I never saw him again? The thought crushed me. I curled up in pain. Hot tears streamed down my face. I knew then that I loved Keean Crone.

Truly loved him.

My whole life from the moment I saw Keean come into English had been consumed by him. Every thought, every breath and beat of my heart since that moment had belonged to Keean Crone.

I woke up feeling really empty. I dragged myself out of bed and looked at the time. It was ten o'clock. Mum and Dad were both at work but would be home at twelve. She had left me a note asking me to peg out the load of washing. I went and did it before I had something to eat because I wasn't feeling hungry. I made myself a cup of tea then sat and watched some show I couldn't follow. I gave up on the T.V and went to my room, made the bed, got changed and pulled out my Maths books to see if I could remember what Keean had taught me. I found the algebra problems surprisingly easy and smiled thinking about Thursday in the library. The thought tugged at my heart because it was the last day I had seen him. I slammed the book shut and went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. It made me feel a little better. I looked in the mirror and told myself I was being really stupid. There would be a reason he hadn't been at school.

I heard a noise downstairs and went to investigate. Jake was there with his car. I tried to sound happy. "Hey, Jake watcha doin?"

He grinned as he lifted up the bonnet. "Mathew's coming to have a look at my car." He bent over to look at the engine. "There's a really loud knocking coming from somewhere near the fuel pump."

I didn't know anything about cars so shrugged. "Where's Melissa?"

He stood up and banged his head on the hood. To my surprise I burst into laughter.

"Shut up you," Jake said as he rubbed his head. "Mel's got to work today so I thought I'd get Matt to have a look. She gets bored with this shit."

"I know what she means," I said. "You guys are always mucking around with your cars."

Jake gave me a big grin and pointed a spanner at me. "You wait until you get a boyfriend. I bet you'll happily sit around watching him. It's part of the privilege."

I laughed again and didn't think Keean was into cars then I said, "Yeah what if Melissa made you sit around watching her sew."

Jake cocked his head. "Won't happen. Anyway she'd think I was weird if I did."

I looked at him and thought he really was a good looking bloke. The dreadlocks suited his fair hair, tanned skin and blue eyes.

"Charlie, why don't you go and make your big brother a coffee?"

"Okay." I was so glad he'd come over and as I  climbed the back stairs he yelled, "If Mum's got any biscuits or slice it wouldn't go astray."

Copyright © 2017 by Donna Fieldhouse. All rights reserved.

I hope nothing tragic has happened to Keean. :( 

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