The growl in his chest reverberated between us as he pulled himself out of his haze.

My bottom lip throbbed, swollen and wet as my mind caught up with what had just happened between us.

My stomach swirled with confusion as I pushed him away. "I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm not..."

I hugged myself as I lowered my gaze to the damp soil beneath my feet.

I could feel Phelan's eyes on me.

"You have done nothing wrong. I owe you the apology. I got swept up in the moment and it was not appropriate of me."

His robotic explanation only added to my confusion but I could relate to it. I too got swept up in the moment, but most of all I struggled to understand how it even became to be one.

"Come. It's getting dark and we should be heading back."

I watched as he gestured with his head, ensuring I was following before taking the lead.

I guess he decided that awkward silence was better than potentially saying the wrong thing but my mind was nothing like the void between us.

What just happened? Why did it feel so... so... good? Why couldn't I stop myself and why didn't I want to?

What was he thinking? I'd seen the absolutely stunning female werewolves in the pack, what could he possibly see in me?

Perhaps that was it. My experience with Hale taught me many things, but one thing that had remained at the forefront was that it was all about numbers with men. It clearly meant nothing to him. He didn't even act phased.

More fool me. My eyes bore daggers into Phelan's back as I followed behind him. I was stewing.

I was no fool.

"So, I guess you got another one to add to the tally list." I smirked at my sass.

Fuck you, I thought. I know your game and I will call you on it.

He sounded annoyed. "What are you on about Edie?"

"A man like you. I know how women would view you. It just hurts a bit is all. You almost had me fooled."

He scoffed before turning around, sticks crunching between his feet as he almost crashed into me.

He gestured his fingers against the side of his temple. "Whatever it is you think you know Edie.... you don't. Let it go."

I couldn't help it. I purposely barged into his shoulder as I walked off, leaving him trailing behind me.

"You men are all the same. I hope it was worth it." I muttered, ignoring the pain in my arm from slamming past him.

I felt him grab my shoulder. "The fuck is that supposed to mean? I apologised for kissing you. You're right. I shouldn't have done it. But you... you did it back, stop projecting."

"Fuck you! Why would I be angry at myself for kissing you back?"

"You know what? Never mind Edie. I'm not going to do this with you. You want a fight? You want to prove all men are the same? Good for you. It won't happen again anyway so it's a moot point."

I all but screamed. "You are damn right it won't! Not in a million years. Not if you were the last man- last werewolf on Earth!!!"

I held back the tears as I followed him back to his cabin. The silence was deafening. I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves and knew better than to push it any further. The feeling made me want to curl into a ball, I wanted to pretend it never happened...

Why was I getting worked up over one stupid little kiss? One stupidly perfect little kiss...

He was right. I was angry with myself. I was angry that I kissed him back. I was angry that I put myself in such a vulnerable position, one I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't allow again. But most of all I was angry that my body betrayed me. I was angry that I wanted it... I wanted him... I wanted more and I felt so hurt knowing he didn't feel the same way about it.

What was wrong with me?

When we got back to the cabin, it was empty. My steps were tentative as I watched him walk into the kitchen. He didn't so much as turn around to see me, and I felt so alone.

I heard him sigh as he placed his coffee mug down, the tension in his bare shoulders evident as he stretched his neck side to side with his back turned to me.

I couldn't stand the dismissal anymore, and retreated to my bedroom without saying a word.

~

A week passed by and I distracted myself by hanging out at the pack house. Sophia had introduced me to some of her friends and I was excited by the upcoming party at Full Moon that they'd invited me to.

I hadn't spoken or even seen Phelan for the better part of a week. Since our encounter in the forest, we had been avoiding each other. He explained it away... choice phrases like 'treaties' and 'rogues' and 'enforcements' made little sense to me. I knew he was working hard at managing The Guild, but I really had no understanding of what it entailed and began to feel tremendous guilt that he felt obligated to help me because of his promise to my mother and father.

During the brief times he was at his cabin, he locked himself in his office, and every other moment he was training at the pack house, pushing and demanding his fighters with fierce determination.

I felt like an unwanted guest and I hated it. But tonight... tonight was a chance to let my hair down and have some fun, and I couldn't wait.

I looked in the mirror. I never liked the way I looked. My eyes were blue but my hair was black. I had managed to borrow Sophia's hair straightener so my curls were under control but still, I wasn't satisfied.

The outfit. Perhaps it was too much. My skirt was mid length and black leather, and my white t-shirt was knotted at the waist. At least I had a denim jacket to throw over the top.

There wasn't any purpose to it, it was literally the only thing I packed that wasn't track suits, jumpers and mom jeans. I had nothing else and I felt uncomfortable wearing it.

Still. Tonight was about letting my hair down so to speak. I was craving some normalcy since coming to Haven, and I was determined to have a good time.

A beep of the car horn lulled me from my self-critique. Yessss, I thought. I grabbed my heels, my bag, and shut the bedroom door before heading downstairs.

Sophia's jaw dropped when she saw me. "Sweet baby Jesus Edie... don't let Phelan see you in that!"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why would he care? He isn't even here. Let's go."

She said nothing but her eyes followed me as I jumped in the passenger side of her car.

"I hope you and Phelan sort out whatever it going on between you two..."

I rubbed my lips together. "I am so grateful for everything that Phelan has done for me. I don't deserve it, and I don't know why he is helping me. But there is nothing going on between us, I promise you."

I watched her carefully as she made no attempt to hide rolling her eyes. "Uh huh.... sure..."

I giggled at her antics. "It's true! Look, he said I can leave once it's safe... and trust me when I say he has been working very hard to make sure I can leave as soon as possible." 

I didn't say anything else as we continued the car ride but I couldn't stop my thoughts from trailing back to him. Phelan. Even saying his name to myself made my stomach flutter with anticipation.

And what I said to Sophia wasn't a lie... there wasn't anything going on between us, right? He admitted kissing me was a mistake, and I admitted that I wouldn't do it again in a million years. There, done.

It was time to move on and get him out of my head for just one night. One night of fun, dancing and laughs.... If only it was easier said than done.