I told you that one of my worst qualities

Was playing the violin

For days on end.

But you didn't mind.

You started requesting that I do it.

And when I wrote sad music

And was upset

You knew what was wrong

And you tried to fix it.

I played the violin on New Year's

And apologized to Molly

Without any prompting from you

After I hurt her

Even though I was distraught

And didn't know I'd done it til it was over.

Were you proud of me then?

I wrote a waltz for you

And played it at your wedding

Almost the way I'd pictured it,

But the setting was all wrong.

It wasn't your waltz;

It was our waltz.

We were supposed to dance together

While a recording of me played

And it wasn't supposed to be "John and Mary Watson" on the envelope,

It should have said "Sherlock and John".

I left the wedding early

When I should have stayed.

The waltz should have been our first dance.

Now I can hardly bear to look at my violin.

Before, it was how I escaped from reality.

But now, it is exactly like 221B:

Too full of memories of you to help me do anything

Except wish that things were different.

And every time I hear violin strings,

Your name flashes inside my head.

You aren't in my mind palace, John,

Because you are my heart,

And that should never rule your head.

Violin strings don't just mean music now.

Violin strings mean you.

And I miss you.

- SH