Chapter Sixty Three: First Date

15 January, 1983

The living room in the Bailey household was mingling with life and chatter one evening, but Sirius felt vaguely distant from them. Even Remus was actively participating in the conversation and dropping ideas about what they could be doing in their mission, and what their current objective should be. He seemed to be getting along well with their hosts, especially Robbie and Anastasia - Elizabeth usually tried to avoid being in the room together with both Sirius and Remus, not that Sirius could blame her.

Sirius stared ruefully at Remus, who was seated beside him on the couch, legs folded before him. He wondered back to the days when he was just Santa Paws to him, when he was blissfully ignorant of the existence of the wizarding world. Sirius was aware how unfair it was to him to be thrown into a war he had no involvement in, but then again he was incredibly grateful that he had had the chance to meet Remus Lupin.

Yet, when he looked at Remus, there seemed to be no regret in his eyes. He didn't seem resentful that he was being forced to fight in a war, nor did he ever falter in his determination to fight. As much as he hated putting his life in danger, Sirius couldn't help but admire his courage, his willingness to put his life in the back and fight for what was right, that too with no obligation to do so.

Robbie, who was speaking to the small group of four, suddenly stopped, before looking down at a ring in his finger. It was his communication ring, exactly like the necklace Sirius had. He stared at his ring for a minute and gave them a smile.

"It was Podmore," he announced, as if Remus and Anastasia had any clue who he was. "He said that Dumbledore is moving the Longbottoms to a new location for further security. We need to arrange a meeting with them."

"Who are the Longbottoms?" asked Remus at the same moment as Anastasia muttered with a giggle, "Longbottom."

Sirius, however, had a completely different concern. "Podmore?" he inquired. "Sturgis Podmore? He knows about us?"

Robbie smiled. "Yes, he's been spying on the Order for us. Dumbledore keeps a lot of valuable information, even from his most trusted inner circle. We were lucky to get Podmore to agree with our views."

Sirius thought silently for a moment. "What are we going to do at the meeting?"

"We talk about Neville being the Chosen One. We need to know what Dumbledore is planning to do with him, and whether his parents are on board with it. Knowing Dumbledore, I imagine they hardly know what he is up to, or perhaps they were fed a cock-and-bull story to keep them under his wings. We can't let another child die because of his twisted views."

Sirius didn't say anything in response. When the silence in the room grew thicker and tense, Remus cleared his throat. "Why would a child need to die? What's up with this Neville?"

Sirius realised that he was still very much in the dark about most matters of the war. He took his arm and stood up. "I'll fill you in later. Let's go upstairs."

Just as they were about to exit the room, Elizabeth entered with a large tray in her hand. She completely ignored Sirius as she beamed at the room. "Who wants pie?"

Needless to say, things were terribly awkward between the three of them.

Sirius wanted to escape, and he made it clear by pulling Remus out of the room. But the latter held him back, planting his feet firmly on the ground. When Sirius gave him a stern look, he said, "Be nice."

Sirius hovered by the door as Remus re-entered the room. Elizabeth smiled brightly at him, perhaps a little too brightly. "Here's your pie, Remus," she said as she cut off a generous slice of her pumpkin pie which she handed to him on a small platter. She distributed the entire pie to everyone in the room; everyone except Sirius. Pretending that he was invisible, she sat down with the others and contentedly cut into her slice with a fork, purposefully oblivious to the awkwardness that has bubbled in the room, everyone staring at their own slices with stark attention, avoiding looking at either Sirius or Remus.

Sirius glared at his boyfriend, who suppressed a smile and followed him out, before they headed upstairs to the room they had taken residence in. The former flopped down on the bed, leaning back against the wall.

"You can have a bite of my pie," Remus offered with a smile, gently cutting off a piece with his fork. He held it near Sirius's mouth, and he scowled at him for a moment. In the end, he accepted it, chewing slowly and deliberately.

"It's not about the pie, you know that," he said after a few minutes of silence, scowling.

"Well, can you blame her?" asked Remus, gently caressing Sirius's thigh.

"No, but she said she has forgiven me," he answered. "She said she wasn't mad at me, that she understood. But this morning, she spilled hot water on my hand. If she's mad, she should just be upfront about it - stop laughing."

Remus complied. "Come on, let's go out." Sirius sent him a quizzical look, but he grabbed him by the arm, and while balancing the platter on his other hand, pulled him up to his feet.

"Out?" he exclaimed. "It's freezing out."

He was, however, ignored. Remus pulled open the drawer of the wooden cupboard that stood in the corner of the room and rummaged through it. When they had said goodbye to Lyall the other day, they had brought several of Remus's clothes with them, including warm attire for the winter. He pulled out a thick jacket from the stash and placed it around Sirius, before yanking off the warm blanket from the bed and wrapping it around himself. Sirius stared at him, not stopping him, amused.

"Why is it so important to go out?" he questioned with a smile.

Remus didn't answer. With some effort, he opened the only window in the room, allowing a sudden, thick burst of air and snowflakes to rush in. A ledge protruded from the wall just below the window, wide enough for a person to sit on comfortably, though it was now covered with a thick layer of snow. Sirius raised his eyebrow. Remus must have gone mad.

But he didn't protest when he led him outside, gesturing for him to make himself comfortable on the ledge. When they were seated properly, and when they were sure they weren't going to fall off, Remus slowly and carefully enveloped the both of them with the blanket. Then he placed the platter of the pumpkin pie, which he had miraculously managed to not drop, in front of them. He smiled at Sirius.

"I was thinking, we have never had a proper date," he said slowly. "And since we are stuck in this house indefinitely, I wanted to make the most of this time, with whatever resources we have. So, Sirius Black, would you like to have a date with me now?"

Sirius stared at him, shocked, bewildered and unquestionably exhilarated. He has been having a hard time deciding whether it was a good idea to keep Remus here, in the midst of this boiling war, and Remus wasn't making it any easier for him. As much as he loved having him there, he hated putting him in danger, and now with this sweet gesture, Remus has put him in a dilemma. Would he be able to live with himself knowing that this wonderful human was in mortal danger, and all because of him?

"Sirius?"

He started, looking at him. He must have been silent for a long time, for Remus pressed the back of his hand on his forehead, checking his temperature.

"Do you want to get back inside?"

He shook his head quickly. "No, Remus. And yes. I would love to have a date with you now."

They kissed; a soft, brief peck on the lips. With as much dignity as they could muster, seated awkwardly on a slippery snow covered ledge, with a thick warm, blanket wrapped around them and with only one fork and a slice of pie for the two of them, they had their first proper date. The wind threatened to blow them off, but Sirius placed a simple protective charm around them to filter the terrible weather and have an invisible, crispy warm dome surround them. They took the tiniest of bites of the pie to ensure the date lasted at least five minutes, and when the platter was fully empty, he hugged Remus, kissing him on the side of his neck.

It was a small, informal, and perhaps a highly inconvenient date; definitely not a typical first date Sirius would have imagined. But at the moment, he felt a strange, bubbling sense of ecstasy inside him, the war almost felt like a bad dream, he could just imagine James and Lily cheering for him from up above. With Remus beside him, he was able to push thoughts of the war to the back of his mind; with Remus beside him, he could imagine no better date. Only Remus could make a completely impromptu date on a window ledge as romantic as it was, and Sirius felt so so grateful and happy to have him in his life.

"Wish there was wine," said Remus softly.

"Say no more." Sirius gave a little wave of his wand and two glasses of wine appeared before them. They touched their glasses with a soft clink before taking a sip. "Let's hope Elizabeth doesn't notice some of her wine of missing."

Remus laughed quietly, and Sirius was once again filled with a sense of awful gloom. He linked his arm with Remus's and rested his head over his shoulder. "Remus, don't be mad at me," he began, preparing himself for an admonishment, "but I'm really not sure if it's safe for you to -"

"Sirius, come on," he cut him short. "We've talked about this."

"Have we?"

"I'm not the only muggle working with wizards, you know that. Elizabeth and Anastasia are doing their part, so why can't I? And you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about it. I am doing it of my own accord, I am going to be a part of this war because I want to, because I have seen enough of it and been involved enough to know that I have a role to play. Muggles are being killed by wizard Nazis and they do not even know of their existence! But I do, and it is my duty to fight for my kind. If I don't, what does that make me? Would you want to remain in hiding knowing that your friends and family are being killed somewhere? Would you be able to live with it?"

Sirius was silent, having absolutely no counterargument to refute his logic. Remus was right. Who was he to stop him? And yet, he wanted to weep badly. He wished he hadn't pulled Remus into their mess. He wished he had never met him. But it was in the past, there was no changing it and he would have to learn to live with it.

Remus hugged him close. "I've seen enough, and I've heard enough. I've become a part of the wizarding world, whether you like it or not."

Sirius nodded his head, but didn't say anything. He remained snuggled up in Remus's chest, enjoying his warmth, his loving kindness that seemed to emanate physically from his body. He could see why he had become so attached to Remus when he was at the shelter.

Outside the dome, nature raged on, but Sirius felt like he was sitting near a warm fire. The wind became less furious, and the sky cleared. A moon shone above them, blessing them with light.

"Remus?" he said after a while. "Do you know stars?"

He couldn't see his face, but Sirius assumed that he was surprised by the question. "Can't say I do."

He smiled suddenly, pulling himself away from Remus, and pointed at the sky, which was dotted with a million twinkling lights. "Do you see that star over there? The bright one?"

It took a while before Remus spotted it, and when he nodded, Sirius asked, "Isn't it beautiful?"

Remus cocked his head, seemingly confused. "I - I guess. It looks just like the others."

"No, Remus," he urged. "Tell me it's beautiful."

He frowned at him. "Okay, it's beautiful."

"Thank you, Remus," Sirius said with a sweet smile and kissed him on the cheek. "That star is called Sirius."

Remus rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop a smile from slipping into his face. He grabbed Sirius around the waist and pulled him close. "Of course it is."