"Actions will forever matter
more than words"
Georgy

△△△

I stared blankly up at the house of my sister and the excitement that filled me to see her was a welcomed feeling. I hadn’t really seen her since the baby shower which was a weird thing for me because we were normally joined at the hip. 

Everything had just changed so much after I returned.

I remembered how I felt when she told me she would be getting married, I had feared that things would change between us. They had already been a bit of a difference once she was in a relationship with Bryan, to a point where I felt like a third wheel because of John being constantly busy.

John had probably accompanied me to their house maybe once and I understood that his time was precious, but I liked the idea of a balance. I gave so much blood, sweat and tears to wrestling for a decade and now I would be sidelined again and all I would have were the people that truly cared about me.

“So, what do you expect me to say when they question why I am with you?” Allen’s voice broke through my thoughts and I remembered that I hadn’t taken the journey to Phoenix on my own.

“Well, I actually don’t know because I am off the road” I pouted as I rest my head back.

We had just pulled up outside my sister’s house because she would be induced later in the day, if our little Birdie didn’t make an appearance before then.
I wasn’t sure what the plan had been when I had asked AJ to come with me. Although he could have stayed at the hotel, I just felt like I needed him close.

I also had this weird fear that if I left him out of my sight John would make an appearance somewhere. I hadn’t responded to his text, but I had shut down after receiving it which Allen had noticed. He assumed it was me being concerned about Brie so I hadn’t corrected him because that was on my mind as well.

I didn’t know when I would be seeing John again.

I planned to keep my sister or my mom company for a bit since AJ had to work. I knew that I needed to tell AJ that John was aware it was him because John might just show up at work and do something. But I would wait until Birdie was into the world for that because that was currently the main priority.

“I guess I am just a good friend then” He smirked as we exited the car.

I longed for the days when I could hold his hand in public. The only person that was singing our praises at the moment was Baron because he was thankful that we had literally kissed and made up. I appreciated how much Baron cared about me, if I hadn’t had Allen and him since I returned I wasn’t sure what I would do.

“You’re finally here! Brie is… AJ” Bryan frowned as he glanced between us.

“Allen flew out with me after Baron’s wedding because he has some family here. I figured he could keep you company while Brie and I catch up...” I quickly explained to hopefully clear up the confusion that filled his face.

“Oh well, that’s great” He chuckled before he moved aside so we could enter.

I could still see the confusion and while he was too polite to persist I knew my sister would be a different case.

I was just tired of showing up alone.

“Brie!” I called as I greeted the dogs and lifted Winston into my arms as I had missed him so much as well.

I had been really disappointed when I heard that I needed to take a break from wrestling, but I felt that it lined up perfectly with Brie giving birth, so I could be there for her.

“I am so ready to get this girl out!” She whined as she approached from down the hallway but froze as she saw AJ.

“They flew out from Baron’s wedding together…” I heard Bryan while AJ hugged her after I did.

“Oh, how was the wedding? I haven’t seen any pictures online yet.” She commented while I tried my best to focus on Winston, so she wouldn’t see anything in my eyes.

“It was beyond beautiful, Brianna. I mean, I did help plan it but just seeing the finished product and being at the location. It was just breathtaking; I cried.” I admitted as I was a fan of love and seeing the love they shared had brought the emotion out of me.

“Did you get any ideas for you and John? Where’s your ring? I wanted to see it in person.” She questioned.

I felt my heart sink, even though I had known it would probably be the first thing she wanted to speak about.

Allen cleared his throat beside me, “Bryan, Nikki told me that you have a garden at the back...”

“Yes. I can show you around.” Bryan nodded and they made their way towards the backdoor while we sat down in the kitchen.

“I really don’t want to talk about John or any wedding plans right now. I am here for you” I smiled and briefly hugged her belly that was so huge, I wondered if she might have been carrying twins.

“Where is your ring though?” 

“It’s getting fixed, it was a bit too big” I shrugged which was a lie, but I felt suffocated walking around with it on my finger.

“I would think John would be too much of a perfectionist to let that happen. Why is AJ here?” She questioned as she opened a cabinet to grab a cup for some tea.

“He didn’t want me to travel alone” I answered and tried to glance out through the window to spot the two guys. Bryan wasn’t the type to pry so I didn’t need to really be concerned about him giving Allen the third degree.

“I can’t believe I am going to ask this because I am sure that I am grasping at straws but is something going on between the two of you?” She frowned and pulled her face in a weird way that I didn’t really appreciate.

“Why would you ask that?” My voice was soft even though the first thing I probably should have done was deny it, it would be a definite lie on my part by doing that.

“Because it feels like whenever I see you, you are being escorted by him.” She wavered, and I knew him picking me up at her baby shower would eventually come back to haunt me.

“He just wants to make sure I am safe.” I mumbled.

“Why do I feel like you are not telling me something? I am your twin, Nicole.” She narrowed her eyes and seemed offended and I would have been too if I felt like she wasn’t telling me something, but I needed more time.

“It’s complicated, Brie. I really don’t think now is the time to get into it” I shook my head and stood up to move to the backdoor as an escape but her words stopped me.

“When will be the time because throughout my entire pregnancy you have been a stranger, Nicole. I really thought I would have your support much more than I did.” She shook her head and cradled her bump.

“I have been on the road” I weakly defended.

“Or just avoiding me and spending awfully a lot of time with Baron and AJ. Bryan mentioned you hanging out quite often and you even made the effort to show his kids around and hang out with them.” She pointed out and I could tell that she wanted to raise her voice but was still respecting the fact that Allen was outside while I didn’t want her to be upset.

“I love kids and being on the road on my own hasn’t been the easiest Brie, I am always so used to having you around. I felt beyond lost when I got there because everyone was just on a different run and I felt out of place. It was by accident, but Baron and AJ found their way into my life and I am grateful to them because I don’t think I would have survived or been sane without them.” I shrugged.

I could tell my words calmed her a bit as she sighed, “I am sorry that you had to experience things like that and I am happy that you had them. It just seems weird that you keep showing up with him.”

“It is what it seems then” I shrugged which caused her to frown but before she could question any further, Bryan walked in.

“We have to start getting ready to leave”

She nodded and followed him down the hallway to get their things which left AJ and I on our own.

He moved close to me and searched my eyes but I was sure they revealed how upset I was as he questioned me, “You okay?”

“I just can’t wait for the day where I won’t have to answer questions about John and I.”

●●●

I had always admired the way my sister carried herself through everything in life. She always knew what she wanted and at times she didn’t get it, she loved guys that were just wrong for her yet right for the person she was at the time.
When she had started dating Bryan, I was abit confused because he was really different from the guys she had been previously into. I was passive aggressive at times because I didn’t understand that she wasn’t changing to be like him; she was becoming the person she always wanted to be, with his help.

The party girl who continuously got drunk, wasted and everyone loved wasn’t here, it was just her going through the motions of life. It took me a long time to accept her as she grew, maybe it was because I didn’t have the courage to be who I wanted to be. I wanted to be fearless but that would have meant I had to stand up for myself and walk away from a man I loved and I had been too much of a coward to do until Allen. 

Now she was officially a mother as I held her newborn in my arms while she laid back with Bryan and the doctors seeing to her.

I had seen her go through so much in all the hours of labour she endured. I had watched her try and push for hours because a natural birth was what she wanted but in life we really don’t always get what we want. I had seen the fear in her eyes and I had been happy to have a hand she could hold, along with her husband’s to bring her comfort.

“She is so precious” I cooed as we watched her sleep as we were in Brie’s room.

“She truly is...” Brie smiled and even though we had left the house annoyed with one another, for now that conversation was on pause until another day while we admired the little bundle of joy.

“I am so happy that I could be here to see it. I don’t know what I would have done if I missed it.” I shook my head as I had been so wrapped up in my love triangle, and the world, I had truly slacked on being a good sister.

“Hopefully you won’t be missing any more things.” I heard her and gave a nod before I chose to leave her and Bryan alone to soak in the moment.

They were officially parents which I was sure was a lot to take in.

I walked out into the hallway just as AJ seemed to be coming from the cafeteria with two coffees in hand. I gratefully took it and all I wanted to do was kiss him as I was exhausted, but I couldn’t risk it, so I just sat down beside him.

“You need to be honest with your sister about us” He voiced which caused me to look at him. “I heard some of it, even though I am sure you guys tried to be quiet. I hate seeing you so happy with me one moment and so defeated by the world the next because you have to lie.”

I nodded as I was sure it was difficult for him to watch my battle with trying to please everyone. The same way it had been difficult for me to watch what me not admitting to the world was doing to him. “It's just that I would have so much explaining to do and she just gave birth. I don’t want to take away from that with my stuff when I feel like I have always been the one in the spotlight because of John.”

He sat back and ran a hand through his hair and even though he tried to hide it. I could still sense the frustration on his end, “I understand that, but I hope you know that there will never be a right time to try and convince the world that leaving John was a good idea.” 

“I know” was all I said because he was absolutely right.

I needed to figure out how I planned to tell my family and everyone else. Luckily I had lots of time to think about it...