"I lean into the nape of your neck;
you smell like fear.
How beautiful it is to know that we are
afraid of the very same thing."

▽▽▽

"And then I did the 'yes' kick" Bryan chuckled or well I heard him chuckle while doing my make-up in the room on the tour bus.

I saw John enter the room with a towel draped around his waist but I didn't jump him like I usually would, instead I focused on covering up. Covering up whatever I was feeling, what I couldn't exactly pinpoint. Or maybe I covered up the shame of not feeling what I thought I would feel when the day came that I fully betrayed the man I loved and called soulmate. Ever since that night all I could think about was Allen, his rough touch all over me as his fingers made sure to trace every part of my body. His lips tasting my skin as his voice sent vibrations through me, his groans that sent me over the edge.

It had been two days since that night, merely two days as we headed over for the Smackdown taping. Two days was too soon for me but for Allen Jones? It seemed time was irrelevant as he didn't seem to remember it at all. Maybe it was my fault for leaving him be the next morning as I had to catch a flight with Nattie. Maybe it was my fault for not bringing it up, maybe I was too scared to do so as maybe it was best he didn't.

"Miz is making some use out of it though" Allen's voice was heard and I sighed as John had offered to drive him to the next town since Baron was off. As if I needed another uncertainty not having Baron around would make things even more difficult.

I was mad, not because it was awkward, mad because I thought it would be but it seemed the night hadn't affected him like it had me. If he did remember, which I was sure he did, nothing changed for him. He was the same, letting me feel like I had let things go too far being more sober while he wasn't.

"You okay, kiddo?" I felt a kiss on my shoulder and nodded, slipping on a tights and a tank top before heading out to face the man I had been avoiding for the last few hours.

It felt odd being on the tour bus with John and felt even more odd not having Baron's company that I had gotten used to over the last month especially. But I suppose he would have been proud of me keeping up appearances and all.

"Morning guys" I smiled.

"Morning" AJ raised his coffee with a smile before focusing on Bryan. How? How was he able to act so nonchalant when he had literally showed me a different side of him.

John soon joined us and pulled my legs over his lap and rested his hand on my thigh while I went through my feed. My phone was probably the best distraction I could have, it had some side effects as I had more time to see the negative remarks regarding my storyline. But currently I could deal with the media aspect of things more than my chaos of reality.

I briefly glanced up and saw Allen's jaw clenching as he sipped his coffee and listened to the conversation only to find Bryan continuing their talk so I was confused.

"Fuck" I heard and saw his shirt stained with the coffee he had been enjoying before and he quickly pulled it off.

"Where's your head at, buddy?" John chuckled and stood up to head towards the room.

"Er sorry I..."

"Woah, here I thought you were all about wrestling." John mused as he stood up and I simply focused on my phone as I did not need to be observing a shirtless Allen as he spoke to John. Especially since the last time I had seen him half naked was the night things did a total turn.

"Huh?" AJ was clearly confused as his voice supported it while Bryan chuckled.

"Your back. I mean its good its fading but clearly it had to hurt, Nicole check this out" John laughed out and I tried my best to not show any reaction as while AJ's touch was imprinted in my memory, mine was very much imprinted on him.

I felt myself pale as I stood next to John realizing what exactly had caught his attention. There were marks, marks caused by my fingers. Marks that AJ had to have known were there. "Woah Allen, got yourself a wild one"

He simply slipped over a clean t-shirt, avoiding my eyes and I wasn't sure why hurt filled me. I should have been happy that he hadn't told John or that he was acting like it hadn't happened.

I sighed, "Love, let's leave poor Allen he probably can't even remember where they came from."

●●●

"You actually miss Baron Corbin, don't you?" Renee smiled as I saw his merch tee on display as we walked backstage.

"I actually do. I love all you guys but its nice just hanging out with someone who could care less about a lot of things. He doesn't make me feel like I should be doing things, not that anyone else really does. I just get anxiety with all of the girls cause I just don't know how much time I have left and then it feels like this race." I shrugged as staying out of the conversation with the young talent didn't make me feel like a veteran. And yes being a veteran was amazing but in the women's division it just felt like you were an old lady.

"I understand, I mean I'm in no wrestling mode but I can see things in your perspective. Especially with John's absence, having someone to relate to can be nice." She pouted slightly.

"John and Baron are quite different." I smiled as I didn't want it to be thought I was using Baron as a substitute when he was the one comforting me due to John.

"Which is good or else you would be in love with the guy" She playfully rolled her eyes.

"True" I giggled. "If Baron were here now he would probably roll his eyes at that comment too."

"I saw AJ wandering around here earlier and he was on the phone trying to get ahold of the wolf. Seemed urgent." She randomly brought up before checking her phone.

"I doubt it. Those two fight like husband and wife, he probably forgot something of AJ's in his suitcase" I shrugged, mostly because I wanted to get off any topic that related to the phenomenal one.

"Speak of the devil" She smiled as she glanced down the hallway and the man himself was approaching with Carrano, Carrano left his side just as he neared us. He hadn't noticed us as we stood against the wall but of course I was standing with Renee Young. "AJ!"

"Hey" he smiled, giving me a nod as he approached.

"Urgh please don't tell me you won your match" She narrowed her eyes and I remembered he had fought against Jon and he chuckled. "We were just talking about you"

He briefly glanced at me and cleared his throat, "in relation to?"

"How you're both lost without Baron it seems." Renee mused.

"Hmmm Johnny boy is here so I highly doubt that" he smiled and this was where I needed Baron.

"True. But as we discussed they are on different planets." I sighed trying not to share how annoyed maybe even mad I was at the man standing in front of me.

"How come?"

"Not they as in the couple. Baron and John, the couple are inseparable. Right Nikki?"

"Yup"

"Yeah one has you, the other doesn't." He mused.

"He wish... Hey Jimmy! I'll be right back" Both of us watched as she ran after Jimmy.

I sighed, "she won't be back" and he nodded in agreement as she would get lost in conversation with him.

My eyes met his and all I saw was that night but its not what he saw. Or was it? He had to have known I was the one who had marked him, I was the reason he had wrestled in a t-shirt instead of shirtless.

"You must be over the moon to have John back here?"

I sighed as the last thing I wanted to speak to the guy I had slept with was my current boyfriend, "I have to go."

He cleared his throat and instead of stopping me simply nodded.

I turned back and stared at him as a glare fell on my face, "You know I think I prefer Drunk Allen"

I continued walking to my locker room but heard him following as I did so.

"I'm busy, Allen." I snapped as I grabbed my things from my locker as he entered after me and closed the door.

"You're mad"

Way too state the obvious, Allen Jones.

I turned around and glared at him, "Yes I am."

"Why?"

"Because clearly I wasn't that memorable!" I snapped and he stared at me for what seemed like ages, he seemed at a loss for words.

He ran a hand over his face before shrugging, "You were."

"I was? Because the last time I checked I was being ignored and wasn't even told you would be on the same bus as me."

"John offered."

"And you're just best friends with John." I shook my head as it was clear to me that...

"No, I'm a fucking bad guy here cause I only agreed to it to be closer to you." He whispered.

I stared at him before shaking my head, "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself because deep down I know even if you do remember you were practically wasted on Sunday. I had a few cocktails so I was still okay."

"So you're telling me you took advantage of me?" He frowned seeming shocked by my words when in actual fact I probably had to an extent.

"Yeah."

"Nicole, I might have been a few drinks in or well more than a few but I sobered up as soon as.. As soon as we began." He shrugged. "I knew what we were doing, what I was doing. I knew how intense it was and I enjoyed it a lot. I'm happy with where it ended up. There is no way you could not be memorable, its all I have been thinking about"

"What now?" I questioned as he threw me off with his words.

"What do you mean what now, Nicole? You're with John."

"I was with John when you slept with me too." I sighed but immediately shook my head as why was I questioning him? He was right, I had John, "What am I doing? I'm fucking trying to corrupt you. I came back here to get what I lost and what am I doing? I am asking you to do what?"

"Nicole.." He moved towards me and I stared at him. "Why do you feel the need to take the blame for my actions?"

"Because you are AJ. You don't do things like this" I admitted as he was so genuinely sweet and pure in my eyes. I saw him in such a good light even when I was mad at him I was more mad at myself for being so.

He chuckled slightly, "I don't because I don't have this urge with anyone else but you"

"You..."

I heard the door opening and saw Bryan who smiled, "Hey, well I was planning to track down the two of you but this is better. We're leaving soon."

"Oh"

"About that. I have an appearance so I have got myself a rental." I frowned as he spoke but he avoided my eyes before he made his way to the door. "So I'll see you in the next town"

◆◆◆◆◆

FIRST UPDATE FOR 2019!!!
THOUGHTS?

NOT SURE WHEN REGULAR UPDATES WILL BE HAPPENING BUT HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS ONE CAUSE IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG!