Yuri's P.O.V.

In the dead silence of that cold night, nothing can be hear inside this dark room but my heartbeats going faster and faster with every second that passed.
Natsuki isn't there, next to me, where I last remembered having her.

I can still feel her petite and warm body in my arms. Even though it has probably been hours, the absence of dreams tonight make it feel like it was nothing but the blink of an eye or that moment where you doze off and don't listen one dialogue of the movie you're watching.

My breathing starts to become harder, my body begins trembling, my eyes are burning and the words seem to refuse coming out of my mouth. Yet, I finally move.

I remove the blankets violently first, she isn't there.
I stand up and look around in the darkness, she isn't there.
I leave my room and hurry to the bathroom, no lights, she isn't there.
I hurry downstairs, turn on the lights, she isn't there.
I go back upstairs, check my absent parents room and the guest room, she isn't there.

I want to scream her name but I can't for some reason. I drop to my knees, tears are streaming down my eyes, pure desperation is what I feel.

Has Natsuki finally got tired of me and left me? My mind screams yes.

Did that girl named Ryuko have anything to do with her after all? A sense of deja vu invades me.

Was Natsuki even here in the first place? The more desperation piles up inside of me, the more I question my own sanity.

Amidst my desperation however, a dim light of hope appears all of sudden. My mind keeps playing over and over again those recent images of every corner of my house I visited in less than 5 minutes looking for my girlfriend and thank the heavens for the wonders of the subconscious that registered something out of place.

I immediately stood back up and run to my parents room again.
There it is. The large sliding window that leads to a small balcony, now slightly open as a dim moonlight beam peeks through it and creates a small white line on the wooden floor.

I hurry and slide it all the way to the left, leaving enough space for even three people to cross through it at the same time. Outside I can see the quiet neighborhood asleep, my back garden below, no lights in any of the nearby house either, only the one the moon and the light poles of the street provide, but she isn't here either.

Yet, something, I can feel like... some sort of sixth sense, a sort of a strong connection that continues to fuel me up and makes me turn around. A ladder leads to the roof, the last place to check. I climb, feeling the cold metal on my bare feet while the late autumn breeze sends chills through my body.

"Natsuki!", at last, I'm able to speak. My tears become of joy, a wide smile appears on my face, me body moves by itself.
There she is, a short pink haired girl wearing an oversized black sweater and those pink shorts that show her slender yet nice legs. She stands all the way across the roof, her back turned, her attention seems to be on something in front of my house.

I run towards her, Natsuki starts to turn around and those magenta eyes I see make me stop dead in my tracks.

Sorrow, relief, pain, joy, sadness, happiness, yearning... So many words come to my mind and none seems to be the correct one for what Natsuki's eyes are trying to show but at the same time, all are.

"N-Natsu...Natsuki!", I'm about to question her and my own sense of reality but then Natsuki's eyes go off, like a robot that ran out of power, they simply lose their shine for a bit and her body seems to crumble soon.
I

reach her in time. "Y̡̧̤̺̊͢u...Yuri?", Natsuki speaks, her voice and expression are the definition of confusion.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, Natsuki's hands gripped my shirt, I stood firmly and Natsuki's legs seemed to regain their strength. When she lifted her face to look at me, her magenta eyes had retrieved their shine, but all of those emotions I felt from her a moment ago were no more, only confusion had left.

"What are you doing up here, love? I-I was so worried you-", I begin to ramble. "You're not wrapped up properly, it's cold", Natsuki says as her hands travel down my arms and felt my cold skin.

"E-Eh?", now I'm confused too. "For the love of Buddha... You big purple baby", Natsuki sighs and wraps her arms around me, doing her best to warm me up with her body. Even now, she worries about me.

"I-I don't understand... what were you doing up here?", I ask and blush lightly but eventually give in to my girlfriend's warmth, wrapping my arms around her too. "I...I don't know...Isn't this a dream or something?", Natsuki asks.I can feel her warm breath on my neck.

"I...I don't know either...I just woke up and saw you weren't there with me so I got worried and looked everywhere for you until I found you up here...", I reply. I notice my heartbeats are now steady, maybe because of that always sweet strawberry smell coming from Natsuki's hair. "Hummm... The last thing I remember is that we went to sleep as usual, then you up here grabbing me by the shoulders... eh...", Natsuki says, it seems she really doesn't know what's going on either.

"M-Maybe... ummm... could it be that you sleepwalked?", I ask, that's the only explanation I could think of in this short span of time. "Sleepwalking huh... I don't think I ever did that before in my life but sounds like the only reasonable explanation...", Natsuki replies.

"I-I guess there's always a first time for everything...", I shrug and smile awkwardly. "Yeah... like that time I made you squ-", Natsuki begins to say but my hand quickly covers her mouth. We don't need to mention that... I really loved it though...

"I-I get the idea", I think I'm blushing profusely, I close my eyes. Natsuki giggles. She's so cute. "Hold on", Natsuki says after gently removing my hand off her mouth to then let go of me and begin taking off her sweater.

"Put this on and wait for me there, I'll be right back", Natsuki says pointing at something behind me. I turn my head to see a big circular chair there.
Some old memories come to my mind. Sometimes I liked to come to the roof and read on those warm evenings, the moonlight and the quietness of the streets created a perfect setting for my horror novels.

"W-Where are you going?", I can't help but ask and feel a little worried again. I don't want Natsuki to leave my side so soon. "To get a sweater for me and something else", Natsuki says as she heads to the ladder and begins descending.

I just smiled at her, put on the sweater she gave me and sit there. Staring at the crescent moon above I take some time to put my thoughts in order.

Jealousy. The fear of losing my beloved Natsuki is something I always knew that I'd have to face some day. I guess I just didn't expect or didn't want it to be so soon...

At school Natsuki usually pays attention to me most of the time. Sure, she also talks to our other friends like Monika, Sayori, Omiko or the boys of the wrestling club but they're people that I know too and I'm aware neither them or Natsuki feel something beyond that friendship for each other.

We go on dates periodically and while the insecurity of seeing girls prettier than me whenever we walk around the city always gets to me, Natsuki always looks only at me and makes me forget about it.

However, when this girl showed up I felt something was different.
They way they looked at each other, how they got along so quick, at times they even seemed closer than us... It's like they always knew each other so well or like they shared an special bond, or both.

Whatever the case, it hurts.
Knowing you're not the closest to the heart of the person you love the most hurts.
Realizing all that you've build together for so long can crumble in seconds its scary.
Seeing one person be able to get close to her almost immediately when it took you so long its frightening.

Tonight, when I didn't see Natsuki by my side I had a little taste of what comes after all of that.
Desperation, hopelessness, the feeling of losing it all and not being able to do anything about it.

I don't want to feel it again because I know that if it really happens, I may not be able to endure it. I really don't think I can.

Who's this girl and what's their relationship exactly? I may not be able to ask her this directly but at least I have to let her know how I feel and hope... she can still accept me after that.

I've decided this will be a good time to talk to my girlfriend about my fears.
Now I just patiently wait for her to come back.

====================

I don't know exactly how many minutes have passed but I think no more than 15.

I see her pink head emerge from the ladder. I heard her since she slid the large window closed presumably and I can't help but smile again. She wouldn't leave her after all, right?

Natsuki is now wearing my red wine hooded sweater, the one with a kangaroo pocket where I notice a bulge. "I'm back bae", Natsuki flashes her cute fangs at me with a smile as she walks towards me. "Welcome back", I reply.

"There we go!", Natsuki exclaims as she sits on my laps and cuddles with me. We're now both warm and it feels so nice. I wrap my arms around her and press her little body against me a little more. I just don't want to let her go. "Did ya miss me or what?", she chuckles.

"You have no idea how much", I reply sincerely. "Oh shush it's only been a few minutes", Natsuki says frowning cutely while our foreheads touch each other.

I put aside the words and steal a kiss from her. Natsuki responds as good as usual. Her lips always so soft and sweet, always so gentle... I can feel her rubbing the back of my neck gently with her fingertips, her other hand on my hips. I rub her lower back with one hand and caress her cheek with the other.

As much as I wished this continue forever, we eventually stop and Natsuki smiles at me before speaking again. "I almost forgot... Here I brought this", she says and pulls out a black thermo from the kangaroo pocket. So that's what it was...

"I warmed up some of the hot chocolate from yesterday, I thought it'd be nice to enjoy it while we're up here", Natsuki says as she removes the cap. "Y-You always know what's best", I reply and kiss her cheek softly.

"Of course, now open up big purple baby~", Natsuki tries to make me drink it as if it was a baby bottle. "S-Stooop", I whine and giggle embarrassed. She laughs and that's enough.

Natsuki then drinks from it herself after seeing I don't give in. Some of the chocolate stays on her lips and I kiss her again to try it.
It's probably the most delicious hot chocolate I've ever tried.

"Of course you'd do that", Natsuki sighs. "I'm sorry~", I joke and she snorts. Right now everything seems so fine, we both are happy, at least for the moment but I know for this happiness to last longer, I need to clear my doubts and fears.

"N-Natsuki? Can I... ummm talk to you about something?", I ask nervous. "Mm? sure, what's up?", she asks while putting the cap on the bottle again.

"I-I don't know where to start...", I say. "From the beginning?", she replies, I giggle. I love this girl.

"Right hehe... well I-I suppose I should start from where all of this started. That girl, Ryuko", I say and I can feel my body a bit colder now. "Ryuko? What about her?", Natsuki seems concerned but also a bit nervous.

"T-This may just be my imagination or my mind p-playing me tricks making me see things that are not so please d-don't get mad at me?", I ask, I don't know I can continue. What would she say? What if she thinks I'm exaggerating? What if she realizes how pathetic, how petty and awful I really am and leaves me because of it?

"Nah, relax, it'll be fine I promise", Natsuki smiles at me and grabs my face between her hands, she rubs my cheeks with her thumbs and looks at me in the eye. That's all I needed.

"Okay... Ummm I've been feeling really... uneasy since she appeared. When she arrived you greeted her a bit different from what you usually do... I saw you each exchanging glances sometimes and I think you got along really quick... Like y-you two seemed to have so much in common sometimes or like if you knew each other for so long... w-what I'm trying to say is that I... I feel a little... no, very jealous actually", I finally say it.

Having Natsuki's caring and pretty eyes looking at me, her thumbs tenderly rubbing my face and her body snuggling against mine made it so much easier. Now I wait for her reply.

"I see, so that's why...", she replies. Eh? "W-What?", I ask confused.

"I noticed you were acting weird all day during our hangout and after that. I didn't know why though and I couldn't think of anything so I was worried but I decided to wait a bit before asking anything since I didn't want to worry you too, see if you kept acting like that the next day or something, that maybe you were just feeling sick or something, I don't know...", Natsuki explains.

I was so concerned with myself I didn't even consider her feelings. I feel so dumb.
All this time she's been worried about me, she's been looking at me and trying to understand my feelings. I hope you can always love me, Natsuki, I know I will always love you.

I hug her tightly and bury my face on her shoulder, she hugs me back and rubs circles on my back comfortingly. We stay like that in silence for a few moments and then I pull away a bit to speak again.

"I-I don't have anything to worry about, right?", I ask the only question I need an answer to right now so I can put all those fears aside and continue with our happiness. Nope", she says and my heart begins to feel at peace again.

"But...", she says. Fear strikes me again. I grip her sweater and look at her probably looking so scared. "I gotta be honest, there's something about that Ryuko girl that I find... I don't know how to say it... ummm... ehhh... oddly familiar I guess?", Natsuki says.

"L-Like you knew her from before?", I ask nervous. "Yeah, something like that, although I'm sure I had never seen her in my life before... It's weird... Like when she arrived I had this deja vu feeling and I kinda feel like she did too by the way she looked at me. I admit I glanced at her maybe a bit too many times but I swear it's because I had this bugging feeling like I had seen her somewhere before, I guess I was trying to remember her face from somewhere or something but in the end I couldn't", Natsuki explains.

"Then when we had the chance to talk to each other I felt something similar, like sometimes I knew what she would say or stuff like that. It's all really weird to me but I swear, I promise you that's all there is to it. Nothing else. I don't feel attracted to her, I don't think anything special about her, nothing", Natsuki continues and grabs my face again, looking at me in the eye as she makes those claims.

"I believe you", that's all I say. They say you can read a person through her eyes, both her mind and heart. These magenta eyes I've come to love say nothing but the true and show the same fear I felt before. "You better", Natsuki frowns cutely and we smile at each other while our foreheads touch and both caress our faces tenderly.

We snuggle with each other and close our eyes. I hug her tightly and she hugs me back just as tight. In this quiet and cold night aside from the late autumn breeze I can hear our hearts beating next to the other and I feel a peace like no other.

"Natsuki", after some time, I call her name. "Mm?", she mumbles, her face resting on the crook of my neck, my hand running through her soft pink hair.

"How much do you love me?", I ask a bit nervous. "A lot. A hell lot", surprisingly, she replies immediately.

"I love you a hell lot too", I reply and giggle. Happiness is fully back. "How long will you love me?", she then asks surprising me a little. There's only one answer though.

"Forever. I will love you until the end of time and I will be forever yours", I say from the bottom of my heart, only fueled by the love I feel towards this cute pink girl that despite her feisty attitude sometimes, has a heart the size of the world and will show it to you when the time comes.

"Chessy Godzilla", she chuckles and lift her face to look at me. Her hands grab my cheeks again, she tenderly caresses my face, her magenta eyes look into mine and that beautiful smiles shows itself to me again. "I'll love you forever and ever, not even death or time will do us apart, I will be forever yours", Natsuki says and with one kiss, we vow to the infinity that our love will surpass it one day.

As for me, I have no more fears, no more doubts.
She's forever mine.